A & E documentary - family fall-out

by Tallon 18 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

• 

  Tallon

  Just seen this on Exjw Reddit - sickening beyond belief!

  Long story short, we have not seen hubbys non identical twin nephews (Jeremey and Jerome) since we gave the middle finger to the JW's 7 or 8 years ago. We last saw our nephews when they were 9 or 10ish. Memory little hazy here. They are now 16, and will be 17 in November. Since we left, hubbys side of the family (and mine) cut off contact with EVERYONE. Like, we are non persons to them.

  I have tried to reach out to mine and his nieces and nephews over the years, only to be blocked at every turn.

  Well, the oldest twin boys, just ending their sophomore year of High school, according to what we have pieced together, sneaked down stairs to the living room last night and watched the A&E documentary.

  This morning, my brother in law and his wife asked them what they were watching on TV-they are SUPER TRIPLE STRICT with the kids. Like....not allowed to date even at 16 without mom and/or dad there. Curfew on a non school night is 7pm. Curfew on a school night is 5pm. Sheltered as holy fuck.

  No TV period, unless it's like the arts channel that shows ballet dancing and selections from various operas or the hallmark channel. ONLY. The end. That kind of parents.

  Long story short, the boys fess up they don't want to be JW's anymore. Huge, massive blow up happens at the breakfast table. This, from what I've been told, is the tail end of the boys trying to make an exit from the church, trying to buy as much time as they could until they could get on their feet. The A&E thing, them watching and the blow up....was just....the last straw.

  Next thing we know, hubby is getting a call at 6:30 am our time (his brother lives about 1000 miles from us) saying he and his wife have kicked the boys out of their home and he dropped them off at the nearest gray hound bus station and we need to come collect them.

  Fast forward 10 hours. A criminal attorney at our church whose wife is an ex JW- helped us get the proper papers done on a whim (guess he knew the right people to talk to...at this point, I'm not asking how the fuck he pulled off power of attorney or whatever the hell these papers are called out of his ass in a matter of 3 or 4 hours.) Hubbys brother did give us the courtesy of telling us which gray hound bus station the boys got dropped off at, but he refused to buy them tickets anywhere.

  I tried calling some of my family-and hubbys family while he called the attorney and tried to get a hold of the boys-and the too long didn't read version of it-the boys are evil fucking bastards who, as hubbys mom put it “does not love Jehovah and is not worthy of his love any longer.”

  SO.....fast forward to 6 pm on a Weds night night, hubby, me, our 2 kids are driving to the amtrack train station 45 minutes away after figuring out where the twins were, getting them a cab to the train station, paying for 2 one way tickets to get them here to us. The boys have been able to borrow a cell phone for a few minutes every couple hours to call us. Sobbing, upset and confused....and not sure why we're so willing to welcome them with open arms when their family turned their backs on them.

  https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/8ndvl9/it_happenedae_caused_a_melt_down_with_hubbys/
  
• 

  pale.emperor

  This sounds rather extreme even for JWs... not saying it's not true but im not entirely convinced.
• 

  The Fall Guy

  If this is is true in all its detail, it sounds like we'll soon be getting media reports of the parents being arrested and charged.
• 

  dubstepped

  Happens more than you think. I get emails from people that have been tossed aside at 16 through my podcast email simply because they spoke up. Sometimes I think it's worse when authoritarians are challenged by minors because the illusion of control is still there. Assholes.

  Heck, the FLDS, in my last episode, literally drive boys to a gas station in another city and just leave them with nothing so there's a better ratio of women to men.

  I don't know if this example happened but sure, why not. I have no reason to distrust them.

  I wasn't allowed to date (not that any sisters were beating down my door, lol) until I was out of the house. My wife had no TV. I was 18 with a curfew of 10PM which was ridiculous as I had to be out later than that after meetings to handle Kingdom Hall bullshit as a ministerial servant, also sometimes I worked later than that to support myself as a pioneer.
• 

  Sail Away

  I'm with dubstepped on this. My husband was raised in by two fanatical JW parents. Father was an Elder and later the presiding overseer. He was a school teacher, and my husband was not allowed to ride the bus to school. He had to go with his father in the family work van and wait for hours after school doing his homework even in sub-zero winters.

  Absolutely no contact with "worldly" children allowed. Even association within the congregation was severely restricted. During breaks at assemblies, as a young child, he wasn't allowed to leave his seat while his father worked on staging and his mother gossips.

  During summers, Instead of normal childhood play, my husband worked every week day digging foundations by hand, framing walls and later doing roofing for the family real-estate business. Of course, the WTBT$ gets it all. Book study and service from the family home every Saturday. Meeting and field service every Sunday. The only vacation ever was to the 1958 Polo Grounds District Convention.

  They never had a television and only a radio with one station. My husband was not allowed to use the phone. His curfew was 9 p.m. until he moved out. That meant lights out at 9 p.m. sharp.

  My husband pioneered out of high school and was accepted to Bethel. Upon departing his parents told him to never come back, not even for vacation. This was when he was in good standing. Imagine how they were when he faded.

  I won't even get into further of abuses, because that is not my story to tell. Let's just say the severity of "discipline" required a judicial committee meeting on more than one occasion.
• 

  Phoebe

  I'm with dubstepped and Sail Away on this. My parents were fanatical JWs, too.

  I wasn't allowed any contact with the outside world whatsoever. I was not allowed to use the phone.

  I went to regular school but straight home after, absolutely no talking to school mates after school. Any contact with anyone or anything outside JW world was totally forbidden and punishable.

  If I didn't answer in the meetings I was severely berated afterwards. And one answer wan't good enough, it had to be several answers. I wasn't allowed to go to the toilet during the meeting, even if I was desperate. On one occasion this resulted in me wetting myself (I was about 8) and oh my god, I was dragged from the hall and flung into the car - sobbing. My father was livid with rage. I thought he was going to kill me.

  Assemblies/conventions - they had to know where I was every single second.

  No watching television at night.

  Weekends - ministry on both Saturday and Sunday. No choice. You had to go.

  My speech was also restricted. I had to use the right words or my father would go ballistic. I once made the fatal mistake of saying someone was 'pregnant' I was sent to my room in disgrace for using a 'filthy' word. Apparently, I should have said 'with child'

  The control didn't even end when I was older. I pioneered and worked in an office full of smokers (they did in those days) when I came home from work my father insisted on smelling my breath to make sure I hadn't smoked. My bag was checked for cigarettes.

  When I rebelled at 19 and left home, my parents used people to spy on my apartment and when I went in and out was logged and reported to the elders.

  I was told repeatedly if I didn't tow the line they would 'publicly disown me'

  That coupled with sexual abuse....and I wonder why I ended up being treated by a psychologist!

  So, yes. I totally believe the story on reddit.
• 

  Tallon

  Thank you to all for your responses and personal experiences. It really is a sad state of affairs that a supposedly 'religious organisation' can have such a detrimental affect on family life.

  UPDATE: This is how a church is supposed to work.

  Thank you everyone for your support.

  I have no idea how the hell the lawyer from our UU congregation did it, I feel like the fewer questions we ask right now, the better.

  But our day started at 5:30am with him calling us at home telling us we needed to be at the county courthouse with boys by 7:30am (hour drive for us) because we had an emergency court hearing in front of a family court judge. Hubby tried asking him what the hell, it hasn't even been 24 hours and Alan simply told him "when your in the court with 8-10 hours a day with different judges, you know who to ask for help when something like this comes up." Not looking a gift horse in the mouth....we went. We were the 2nd/3rd case called up, and hubby and I spilled everything from the last 24 hours and we walked out with Judge signed legal guardianship papers.

  By the time the four of us, still kinda shell shocked, pull up at home-The kids (our 12 and 10 year old) were sitting in the living room with our pastor and a couple others from church ready to ask us what room were the boys going to be staying in and they were willing to help us move shit out/around. We hadn't thought that far ahead, but once we told them we'd love the basement fixed up for them (unlike the guest room they slept in last night, it does have a couple windows down there) and now...10 members from our church are here, hauling shit out to the dump, cleaning and vaccuming.

  Hubby and I are calling a couple furniture stores to get them a beds (should be delivered late this afternoon) and we might have found a couple dressers at a local thrift store, and a desk for them. As soon as a couple folks get back with the last load to the dump with a pickup truck, we're going to meet them over at the thrift store to see about the dressers and a couple other pieces of furniture.

  One of the members of church, a foster parent-got in touch with her contacts after finding out what sizes the twins wear-will be back in about 20 minutes or so with at least 3 or 4 large trash bags of very gently loved clothing for us to go through to see what fits/doesn't fit.

  We've already got a phone call that has set up meeting with the DSHS regarding TANF and snap benefits tomorrow afternoon (another thing that happened WAY faster than we thought it would, but we're not going to ask the how right now, just show up with all the paper work in hand.)

  Meanwhile, we've got two 17 year old boys sitting in our living room, shell shocked. They both commented last year when a sister's house caught on fire and she needed help getting everything cleaned up, unless she paid them they weren't going to lift a finger-and here they are, with an aunt and uncle that hasn't seen them in almost a decade, who belong to a UU congregation...who are bending over back wards to help strangers....

  I gave them both hugs and said "Boys....what your seeing here....that's how a Church is supposed to work. We help each other out."

  It's taking a while...hubby is playing phone tag with his health insurance company to get the boys added on so we can get a referral to a therapist for them. While I have the better insurance, it sadly only covers me (sucks, I know)

  Meanwhile, hubby has tried to reach out to his brother. Our pastor had a hard time believing they would just toss the boys out like that...but once his brother and sister in law were put on speaker phone and he heard them rash talk their own boys (and me, and our kids....) using very colorful language.....lets just say the pastor and the few church members who heard it were like "Yea...be glad your here...not there..."

  https://www.reddit.com/r/exjw/comments/8nivc2/update_family_issuesthis_is_how_a_church_is/
• 

  flipper

  TALLON- Thanks for the link to this Reddit experience of the JW boys being kicked out by their parents. I posted a comment on that thread over on Reddit. This has happened thousands of times through the years by self righteous, uncaring JW parents all over the world. And it's disgusting. This JW cult and WT Society ROB JW parents of any empathy, sympathy, decency and causes parents to actually treat their exiting JW children inhumanely to the extreme.

  I experienced this with my own son when my JW ex-wife kicked my son out of her house at age 18 because he didn't want to attend meetings anymore. He called me up sobbing that his mom had kicked him out and he asked if he could come live with me. I told him " of course son ! I don't care what religion you are you're my son , I love you !"

  So he came to live with me and we cried together as he fell into my arms sobbing. It was one of the most emotionally charged experiences my son and I ever experienced. It traumatizes exiting JW children for years because they feel one parent doesn't love them anymore. Essentially the JW parent chooses the WT Society & JW cult - over the child. My son lived with me the next few years until Mrs. Flipper & I got married and he had a roomate and girlfriend by then who supported him as well. But we have stayed close all these years and are like blood brothers, we hike together in the mountains , play music together- and we both know we will ALWAYS have each others back in dealing with JW relatives.

  I am so glad that A&E , Leah Remini, and other mainstream shows are exposing this freaking cult for what it is - a criminal organization that breaks up families. It's disgusting. The pain is very, very real and very , very sad. We need to support anybody- young or old who exit this dangerous cult. Especially the young who get put out on the street by sick, disgusting excuses of parents who need their parent cards taken away
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  flipper

  I'm so glad these boys have their loving aunt & uncle to care for them. Wow ! This is a heavy experience indeed. Just when you think you've heard the worst stories possible coming out of this JW cult- you hear even more horror stories that get worse . I'm glad the world is starting to hear more of these stories. People need to be informed
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  Sail Away

  So happy these boys had a soft place to fall and will be loved and supported through the aftermath.

  May the GB and their corporate drones go down in flames. Parents like this don't deserve custody. They deserve time in jail. Any parent with an ounce of humanity would not abandon their own choldren. I do hope A & E does a followup.