My story

ChimChim

I was never baptised because I was to young, I was in it until I was 5 years old. But it ruined my life and still is because my dad, nanny, grandfather, my step nanny, my aunt and uncle...all on my dads side of the family are still in it, so I get lectured alot about things that have to do with the "Truth" or I hear him talking about and all I think it, "What a bunch of garbage."

He never really yells at me, I don't think he can because he barely ever see's me, I try to avoid going there as much as possible. I was there last weekend but I didn't stay the night there I stayed at my aunts(the none JW)

I wasn't in the religion that long and I'm glad because I was never treated nice by them, accept one person... we were really close and I see her every now and then and she hugs me and says, "I'm so proud to see you at the meetings, Keep it up." And I smile and think, "Psssh yeah right, don't count on seeing me here as much as you'd like." Then she would hug me some more, and she would say tell your mother I said "hi"... hmmm sounds kind of weird. Why would she want to say Hi to my mom for, when she hasn't been talking to her for years because of her shunning her out?

I have a temper that can be triggered very easily over the most little things, and I know most of it comes from the religion and that my dad neglected me for several years, well all my life... When he would call me and say he was comming over I would get so so so happy because I barely ever seen him so I would wait for him by the screen door, and of course I was waiting and wait and wait...etc...etc... and when I would realize that he wasn't comming I would he the biggest fit ever, I would throw every little thing in my room down the stairs and when everything was down there, crayons, dolls, clothes, stuffed animals..etc... I would stand at the top of the stairs and scream then fall all the way down The things that also might have triggered my temper was when my mom was in it and I was going to the meetings I would cry every meeting, have a big fit beccause I didn't wanna sit there I wanted to be outside playing on the playground with my friends not sitting there listening to people talking about how everyday life is a new step to learning "The Truth" and how people that were not in the religion must be talked into joining. Like whatever, so as I was saying I would have a big fit scream kick and punch anyone who tried to take me out of the room and they had to take me in the back room and sit me there and hold my mouth shut becuase I was like screechy off the care bears(really loud screamer,)

Some times when I stayed over at my fathers he would tell me and my sister to get ready for the meeting and we would but one time my sister was sick and she didn't wanna get up to go, so she simply told him "No I'm feeling sick I can't go" and he freaked out telling her that she better not say no to him again and told her to get up again and she said no... so he left stomping in a huff...and came back with his belt and said do you stil wanna say no to me and hit her three times. I thought if he swings at her one more time and hits her I'm grabbing the belt but he didn't.

My father never really hit me ever in my life but the little things that he did made me more upset then hitting me ever could like when he would come home from work I would run up to him and latch around his leg and wouldn't let go and yell and scream of happyness, and he would just say yeah hi now get off me... just those little things hurt more than anything else.

Another time not too long ago when I was living with my father( my uncle lives there as well) and my cousins were over playing or whatever and when they went to bed, Makayla and shaina were crying but makayla started screaming and having a big fit(remind you of any one) all you heard was be quiet BANG!!!! Like he smashed her head on the wall...and she shut up! Me and Chennelle(my sister) just looked at eachother then I called him a loser...

But this is all I can say right now because I am not at home and my nanny wants to go now, But when I get home I will add more if I can!

C.C

Double Edge

It's difficult to be a teenager under 'normal' circumstances, let alone having some of the add-on religous pressure you go through. Don't get to 'crazed'... you'll be 18 before you know it. In the meantime, prepare yourself for your freedom by trying to make good solid choices. Thanks for sharing ChimChim. I look forward to your continued postings.....

D.E.

Jade

Thank you for your story Chim Chim. I left the borg when my son was just 5, he's 14 now. What you posted is one of the reasons I left and my divorce soon followed. When my son is with me, he has a normal life, with friends from school and lots of socializing. He still has to deal with the borg stuff too just like you when he is at his dads, but at least you have the relief when you are with you mother and other family. Be strong and most of all be happy.

SheilaM

ChimChim: Thank you so much for sharing your story. You have a right to be angry but you can't let it control you. Try working thru the anger you don't want something like that in your life. It is very common for a child that is disappointed over and over again to be angry, heck ya how rude and unloving to promise and not show up. But realize that family can be more than just biological family you can have people love you and care for you that aren't realated at all. You have control over your life so no one can ruin it unless you let them, as a child it is hard since you are bound to otehrs wishes. Just remember your almost grown (Back off Valis ROFLMAO) ((((((((Chim Chim))))))))

ChimChim

((((double edge))))

((((Jade))))

((((Sheila))))

Thanx you guys

C.C

drawcad_1

ChimChim- good job at holding out. It is hard for daddies girl to go against him, but it seems like you are doing it.

ChimChim

Yeah I always considered myself as a daddies girl but now I know im more fortunate to be with my mom that actually makes an effort for me..

C.C

shera

Yeah I always considered myself as a daddies girl but now I know im more fortunate to be with my mom that actually makes an effort for me..

Aweeeee,thanks sweetie.That meant a lot to me.

Yes,I remeber those days when Daddie hurt you like that.Used to tick me off,wasn't much I could say too him without a huge fight.

ChimChim

Ok Here I am adding more to "My Story"

A couple weeks ago my dads dog (Jade, Full bread rotweiler) had Full bread rotweiler puppies. Of course my dad being the dog lover he is already has two dogs and is going to keep one of the puppies(The biggest male). You're all probably wondering what this has to do with "My story"...well my dad hasn't been paying child support for many years now,and according to my mom he owes me thousands of dollars. and finally my point is that he keeps 2 dogs plus he might be keeping the puppy, he spends his money on dog food and all the needs that the dog *needs*. And wastes all of his money on them, but yet owes me alot of cash.You see it's only money and doesnt mean alot to me if he pays it or not, but the fact is he obviously doesn't care for my needs and his 4 other kids.

All the neglecting and abuse he put towards me and Chennelle is unbelievable. With me it was mentally, Always wondering why he never came to see me. It always left a few questions. Does he even love me? Does he even care or does he think I am a mistake? I'm not totally sure. I just gave up trying to figure out those answers to the questions that I ask myself. and to my sister he physically abused her. But he no longers hits the kids any more, just yells and goes crazy all the time like he does wanna hit them but wont.

My mom, who was the only one who only really actually took care of me(besides my nanny and grampy) had alot of stress on her because of his lies and not paying the child support. She has now given up on him and the rest of the JW in his family. It bothered her at first but she has grown to realize that true friends wouldn't do that, and when they were growing up they weren't the nicest people to her especially my father. He would always hit her(playing around to bug her) and she would tell him to stop because he would keep hitting her in the same spot over and over again and it slowly started hurting and she would hit him to make him stop but he would get even more mad at her and freak ouy on her.

The only thing that my dad really actually bought for me was a rabbit, it was old and its dying date was due sooner than he knew... anyways he bought me this rabbit wihtout confirming with my mom. brought it over and gave it to me in a cage, but he didnt get any food. I know buying me that rabbit was in his best intrests but it just laid more stress on my moms shoulders. Well the rabbit died a week later and i thought it was asleep but mom told me that it was dead and i cried more than i cried when we had to get rid of one of my cats because my dad bought me that rabbit, for me and me only! It was more special to me than anything I had gotten.

Things like being in the Religion stick with you more than you know, you have all these memories of these little things and you don't get over them as easily as you would like.

But I'm off to school I will be back afterwards.

C.C

azaria

Thanks for sharing your story C.C: I agree with Double Edge, about being a teenager being difficult in normal circumstances. I remember well, plus I have a 17 year old daughter to remind me. Like you, I didn’t have a close relationship with my dad. As I got older I considered it a loss for him; because he wasn’t able or willing to share his feelings for me. It seems that your dad, for whatever reason, is in a lot of pain himself. Try to make wonderful memories with your mother and your sister. You have so many years ahead of you. Try not to focus on the What If’s and If Only’s, which we all tend to do. It's such a waste of energy. Take care.

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