My story (page 3)

Sassy

We have a need to be loved by our parents. When we don't feel that love, it eats away at us. I'm 45 yrs old and I still need my dad's love and yet feel rejected by him. I have done so many things in my life to try and please my dad and find acceptance in his eyes and yet I still don't get it. My boyfriend asked me why I still wear my highschool class ring. I told him because it was a gift from my dad. Then I added that he really didn't want to buy it. I was whining that I really wanted it when he said we couldn't afford it and he got mad and threw the money on the table and left the house. So sadly it really wasn't a gift, but it was his money (his drinking money) that paid for it. It is the closest thing I have to a gift from him. I know this doesn't change our situation, but I just wanted you to know that others too need love and to feel wanted, but unfortunately we don't all get it. Sometimes it helps just to know that others understand.

(((((((((ChimChim))))))))))))

pettygrudger

(((chim chim))) - a lot of times the emotional/mental abuse is actually more difficult to handle - those never answered questions that you brought up. It can at times tear you to pieces if you let it - but don't give your father (or anyone for that matter) that much power over how you feel about yourself, or what you want to do with your life (as long as it's okay w/mom - she's a smart lady & wise - you'll do alright by her I think!).

Just because some people can breed, doesn't always give them the automatic tools necessary to deal with the blessing they have been given in their children. It sounds as if your father has alot of "issues" that he has never dealt with in his own life. As you can see from many people on this board, this seems to be a common thing within the witnesses. Did the witness create this, or were these types of people typically drawn to the Witness faith? Dunno - its like the what came first - the chicken or the egg question.

Take comfort in the fact that YOU are breaking the cycle. That you have recognized dysfunctionality where you see it, and therefore as you come into adulthood, you will have the necessary wisdom in picking a good boyfriend/husband.

I can see why your mom is so proud of you.

ChimChim

sns:

I just wanted you to know that others too need love and to feel wanted, but unfortunately we don't all get it. Sometimes it helps just to know that others understand.

Thats true, I know that there are alot more people out there have it ten times worse then I do, which will most likely lead to death in their cases. So I know that I am pretty well off, but still knowing that im better off then most people it still hurts because knowing that he is my father and he's never there for me. I consider my step-dad more of a father then my dad.

Pettygrudger:

its like the what came first - the chicken or the egg question

Yeah that always confused me because If the "egg came first" how did it get there and if the "Chicken came first" Where did it come from? so either way neither of them could have gotten there unless they were already here. *Complicated*

I can see why your mom is so proud of you.

C.C

shera

Chim Chim,I love you sweetie!

consider my step-dad more of a father then my dad.

That would make him feel great you said that.

Sassy

So I know that I am pretty well off, but still knowing that im better off then most people it still hurts because knowing that he is my father and he's never there for me. I consider my step-dad more of a father then my dad.

I hope you didn't think I meant that your hurts were not valuable. I only meant that we love you and hope if we can show you we care and understand, just maybe a wee bit, it might help. Sometimes it is hard to talk to people who haven't got a clue what you are going through and thereby may not have the same amount of empathy.. Does that make sense?

jst2laws

Chimchim,

I love reading your story. You are going to be OK, kid.

That's true, I know that there are alot more people out there have it ten times worse then I do, which will most likely lead to death in their cases

Don't minimize what you have endured as well as missed out on, but you are right. My little brother gave up and killed himself when he was a teen. But you are here talking to friends, your mom cares and you will soon be old enough to take charge of your own life.

If it ever gets really bad, keep talking. Keep writing. Just share your feelings and you will find the support you need.

Shera

You must be glad you introduced Chimchim to the board.

Steve

little1

Chim Chim: My heart goes out to you in your pain of dealing with a father who isn't there for you. My daughter deals with the same thing as her dad is an alcohoic/drug addict and did the same things, like calling and saying he'd come get her then not showing up. It breaks my heart to see her pain, and yours as well. As a mom I carry a lot of guilt for doing such a bad job of picking a dad for her. I'm glad you're on board and getting some support and help. There are lots of people who understand where you are and what you're going through and will be glad to be there for you when you need them. Count me in. ((hugs))

ChimChim

Thanx little1 (((hugs))) to you too

BTW welcome to the board

C.C

Big Tex

I would run up to him and latch around his leg and wouldn't let go and yell and scream of happyness, and he would just say yeah hi now get off me

Ouch. I got a good visual of that.

I'm sorry for you. I've maintained that words hurt more and leave deeper scars than other more obvious forms of abuse. I think this is a good example.

I'm glad you are here Chim Chim. Realize, your whole story has yet to be told. There are wonders and delights ahead of you to tickle your fancy, as well as troubles that will chill your soul. But however your life plays out, find out who you are supposed to be and embrace that person. Do this, and you will find happiness. Everything else will work itself out.

Keep safe,

Chris

ChimChim

Thanx chris I appretiate that

C.C

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