My story (page 2)

Aztec

You see it's only money and doesnt mean alot to me if he pays it or not, but the fact is he obviously doesn't care for my needs and his 4 other kids.

Chim, I'm sure that that hurts more than you admit. Along with promising to come and pick you up and not showing I'm sure it's painful to have a father that's not really there for you. My father was there for me financially and spiritually but not at all emotionally. Your mother is a wonderful person and you are lucky to have her in your life. Count your blessings.

~Aztec

Country_Woman

(((ChimChim)))
I am not sure if you can completely blame the religion for his behaviour.
I think it is just "him", some men are not able to interact with children - they think that they need to be "the boss" without arguing - if so they get furious.

Good that you can leave all that behind you and stay at your mothers place.
In the future you will no longer be obliged to visit him.

As for that one person who talked to you and said "say Hi" to your mom, since Viv was df-ed several people would ask me how she was doing, and said "give her my regards" most (kind) JW's only shun becouse they are told so, not becouse they want so - and some brave JW's are not shunning at all (but they are few).

Hang on ChimChim, time is in your favour.

Undecided

I'm so sorry your dad didn't appreciate you. It made me cry to think of how you must have felt. I spent every day with my girl at home, since I worked second shift before she went to school. I wouldn't trade those happy days for any thing in this world. We are still very connected and love to see each other. Her mother and her are the best of friends too. I hope he will some day see that you are the greatest gift he will ever have. My daughter never had to put up with the JW crap.

Ken P.

one_ugly_time

((( ChimChim ))) -

Some of what you wrote reminds me of the research I did on "survivor guilt". Although you state that you weren't the direct victim of physical violence, your internal system of feelings and beliefs get shattered as you witness such events. The trauma involved should not be minimized. It is great to hear that you have your mom and your sister to support you and to help reconstruct what really happened.

As CountryWoman said -

I am not sure if you can completely blame the religion for his behaviour.

Victims of physical abuse are the most likely individuals to victimize others using the same methods. I have done a lot of geneology research to understand up to 3 generations of my family history from a behavioral standpoint. What I learned only confirms in my mind that a lot of what I experienced was due to passed down behaviors and had nothing at all to do with the troof. The troof does appear, in my mind, to give people a justification for the way they are. They don't have the tools to heal and ask for forgiveness. That's just who they are.

shera

am not sure if you can completely blame the religion for his behaviour.
I think it is just "him", some men are not able to interact with children - they think that they need to be "the boss" without arguing - if so they get furious.

That is so true about him.I don't really want to say too much about him while he cannot speak up for himself.While I'm not really going to trash him ither,but he grew up in a violent home and a father who didnot show any attention to his kids.When he did,it was violent.I'm not defending her father because he is a grown man and the choices are his;they grew up in a disfuctional off and on JW home.

I always felt so sad for my daughter,and her anger was always directed to me,I was the one closest to her,so she vented on me.She was and still is a child,so she is unable to control herself the right way.

shera

((((((Azzie)))))) Thanks

ChimChim

Yeah, My Grand dad wasnt the nicest to him and the rest of his kids, abused the physically and emotionally, the only one he let get close to him was one of my aunts. All the other kids he would yell hit and scream his head off at them, he eve put bars on my uncles bedroom window and handcuffed him to the bed and locked his door to make sure he wouldnt sneak out. True, my uncle shouldnt have snuck out but my grand dad took it too a big extreme...

C.C

Stacy Smith

Some kids don't even get one good parent so I know you count your blessings. I was lucky.

You're a smart young lady and you are going to do great in life. You interact with adults very well.

I'm going to give you one little bit of advice that was given me and it is really true.

You don't want to end up with a guy like dad right? Guys treat their wives the same way they treat their moms. So if any guy you date treats him mom like garbage, run away fast.

ChimChim

Guys treat their wives the same way they treat their moms. So if any guy you date treats him mom like garbage, run away fast.

I did with one guy, he kept telling me how he yelled at his mom, and how he hit her and stuff and I was like yeah thats make you look totally cool, gee I wish you "WEREN'T" mine lol... So I said bye! Thanx Stacy

C.C

ChimChim

Although you state that you weren't the direct victim of physical violence, your internal system of feelings and beliefs get shattered as you witness such events. The trauma involved should not be minimized.

That's true. I guess even though people never get hit by their parents but witness it will still grow up to hit and abuse their children, but me, im gonna prevent that as much as humanly possible.

C.C

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