by dmouse 34 Replies latest jw friends
((((((dmouse))))))
I wish you the best in all the things that lie ahead of you. I hope that somehow that letter may reduce the gossip that is spread. But if not, keep your head high; you are keeping your integrity, not merely pretending to keep it like your wife.
bebu
I hope it all works out for you.
Excellent letter!
Actually I believe admitting the kiss and e-mail contact was smart to do! This makes clear that right from the start you have been honestly admitting everything, you hid nothing so they can't claim you are hiding adultery. If they do try to put that on you, use the two witness rule against them. I would do anything to prevent her getting off scot free and able to remarry while putting you down! Whitout getting into details: that is something that happened to my sister, done by her former husband...
Comfort and strength to you, friend!
Greven
I'm sitting here feeling quite morose
It was like reading about my own life.
I wish you well for the future, and hope that you get to enjoy a little of the festivities of this holiday period.
Every blessing...
((((((DMOUSE))))))
((((((LITTLE TOE))))))
I hope you are able to begin build your lives again without too much emotional stress.
I hate to think of you on your own especially at this time of year, if only you lived further south maybe we could do something.
I have a son whose JW marriage has just broken up.
PM if you'd like to talk anytime.
Take care
Anglise
Actually I believe admitting the kiss and e-mail contact was smart to do! This makes clear that right from the start you have been honestly admitting everything, you hid nothing so they can't claim you are hiding adultery
I agree with Greven.
Actually.....it doesn't matter how innocent you were/are at this point. Your wife can state she feels strong enough about the idea you have cheated on her, that she can state it in a letter to the bros. and they will leave it between her and Jehovah, and she can scripturally(in their eyes) divorce you. There is no "winning" in that particular sense with the dubs.
Thanks for sharing this with us. It's sad an Organisation as this, is allowed to function in society.
Gumby
DMOUSE,
I was at the same place you are just 3 years ago. I know that in the short term it will be a struggle but in time you will look back and wonder why you put up with her crap for so long. You will be happier and glad that this happened, because the life you were living with her would probably never change. That is the realization I had to come to. My ex went so far to accuse me of having sex with our family dog, a male dog. Her slander still stands to this day because I left the JWs for the exact same reasons that you did but the JWs think that I really did the things she accused me of.
Take care of yourself, feel free to PM if you want to talk with someone who has been there.
John
Congrats on getting out of this abusive situation! You will certainly be DF'd, the elders are probably only interested in your comment:
"After exhaustive research and much soul-searching I was devastated to realise that the religion I had been following all my life was in fact a complete sham..."
which means everything else you said can be dismissed as apostate.
She will give you a bitter divorce for refusing to lie about adultery as it condemns her to celibacy. See a solicitor before admitting things in writing, ask if you can get at least a percentage of legal aid.
PS - Sound like your youngest is really going to need you for support. Best wishes.
Mr Ben
Wow dmouse, I?m sorry you are in such in a tough bind with your wife.
I read the letter through. It was a tough read only because it was emotionally wrenching. I'm glad that there was a therapeutic value for you in writing it. That level of emotional abuse certainly had to be taking a toll on you in many different physical ways.
I'm guessing that it was cathartic partly because of your candor. Yes, the information that you disclosed will be used against you. But regardless of what you say or how noble you conduct yourself, you will be seen as the enemy in the eyes of most any other JW.
While you were staying in the marriage, you were taking the route that gave the benefit of the doubt to your wife and for your children. In leaving you now are taking action for the safety of yourself and for the betterment your children. I am inclined to believe that in the future your children will understand and appreciate this
All I can say is that I wish you improved mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health in the days to come.
Best wishes to you,
Paul
Thanks Winston, and everyone for your kind words.
The situation is getting worse, my wife requested that I not enter the house when she wasn't there (even though she changed the locks my kids let me in). I thought it was a reasonable request so I complied. If I needed anything I telephoned and asked to come round. However, my wife has decided to get even nastier. I rang her yesterday so I could collect some software (which is mine and of no use to her) but she refused to either let me in the house or have it sent to me!
I have written to my solicitor to find out if she can do this, but of course he is on holiday at the moment.
My son came to see me this afternoon - he agrees with me that my wife is a 'fruitcake' (his description).
I just got a text from him - an elder has called (her brother) and is in the front room right now having a private conversation with my wife, probably about the letter. I would love to be a fly on that wall!
Thanks again everyone, it's been a really draining time but the support I receive here really helps.
