Deacon,
I know this is a couple of days old, but I’ve been
missing from the board and didn’t see this until
yesterday and wanted to make a comment.
I’m sorry for your recent disfellowshipping and the
painful adjustment it has caused. We have a common
experience since I was df’d for a period of six months
about ten years ago under circumstances that I deemed
very unfair. Afterwards, Dennis, one of the men who
served on my committee, told me that my case had been
“mishandled.” He had been mentored into the truth by
Steve, a long time elder who had the bearing of one of
the sweetest men you’d ever want to meet until those
library doors closed. Then the heart of cold steel was
seen in all its unmerciful fierceness. But that’s
another story….
You said:
I miss the whole shebang of everlasting life and the
nearness of it. I miss the assemblies that we used to
have, everyone working together in the kitchens, all the
fun we used to have...
I miss the total belief that we had the right way, the
correct understanding, a direct link to God....and a
formulae for happy lives.
Not long ago I posted something about a JW friend of
mine named Kevin. You have touched on some of the things
I have always thought about when I think about active
Witnesses. There are very definite advantages to being a
JW, and since I was raised ‘in the truth,’ I know (and
fondly recall) many of them.
I remember working in the kitchens, as your words make
me recall the sounds of the steamers that cleaned the
pots and pans; working in expediting or in the attendant
dept. One of the memories I will always cherish is getting
to the district assembly site early and finding a seat
high up and watching the building come to life. Doing
this led me to Brother Robert Smith of Muskogee, Ok. Seems
he enjoyed doing the same thing. We became friends even
though he was a good fifty years older than me. Still, he
always called me Brother Jones.
He was one of the most brilliant bible students I have
ever known. When he talked about the bible and bible
characters, it was as if he knew those people personally.
Oh, the talks we had!! I miss him and the simple joy of
the simple truth. I’m not ashamed to say that even though
I’m far from the person I was then in many ways, a tear
always forms when I recall those wonderful times spent
in the warm loving association of Jehovah’s People.
James Taylor in “Carolina in My Mind” sings
In my mind I'm goin' to Carolina
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Maybe just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to Carolina in my mind
Those words came to me as I was swept up in a wave
of nostalgia after reading your words. To me, the
Carolina that he speaks of is the simple place where
the answers were easy and clear and so were your friends.
Jehovah was alive and interested in me personally,
working things to my advantage in my life. But harsh
realities came and interrupted my reverie and life has
not been the same since.
Still, I work about two miles from where there is at
least one district convention every year. In a few weeks,
in the early morning hours, I will see carloads and vanloads
of people headed east toward downtown and feel a kinship
with them. I guess I always will, and the thought is a
pleasant one to me.
Clint Eastwood as Robert Kincaid in the Bridges of
Madison County said, The old dreams were good
dreams; they didn't work out, but glad I had them.
So it is.
I know you will find your way, Deacon. We always do. I
enjoyed your post and believe me, we all feel your pain.
Logical said it best: "Sorry Deacon."
After that, what else needs to be said? Hang in there my
man. It get better.
peace,
todd, who’s gone to Carolina, in his mind.
