I have had nightmares about Nazis, torture, etc. as long as I can remember. I thought I was the only one.
constant fear I can not get rid of
by jwbot 21 Replies latest watchtower medical
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Celtic
I have empathy with you on this one. Normally, I don't get nightmares at all and find sleeping at night quite easy. The other night though, I had this very lucid dream. There were missiles going off left right and centre. A huge gun turret was right beside me in the dream and when it went off I'm surprised I didn't wake up, it was quite scary, though I knew I was dreaming at the time so allowed the state to continue. What puzzled me most was the return fire, loads of invisible missiles which only I could see, it was most strange.
I guess a lot of us in our very early childhood, had forged into our sub conscious minds not just images of a great destruction but also we were often fed with false information that one day we would be horribly persecuted for our beliefs. This is a sick thing to put into the minds of children at around 5-6 years old and the emotional scars are long standing. I know myself time has only numbed the pain and fears but never taken it totally away.
It was sooo drummed into our heads how the world, people on the 'outside' viewed us, with hatred, and that they would stop at nothing to get us one day. This reasoning hardly inspires good balanced thinking in the childs developmental behaviour, and still to this day, I find it quite extraordinary that these practices continue in a so called modern, 'civilised' society.
I hope I havn't reached stale mate. That these fears were so strongly fed in, these visualisations, these pictures of awful terrors. I can only hope with time and new experiences, that these irrational feelings eventually will die away and hopefully for the first time in my life ever, feel free to truly explore, who is the real me, that would be good.
I hope this helps knowing that others of us felt and to some extent feel the same way now.
I'm thinking of therapy again. I see no shame in asking for it. That is what the counselling services are thee for, trained in and last time I went to them, they helped/assisted me enormously.
Kind regards and hope you soon start feeling yourself once more, best wishes for the year ahead.
Celty