SEX: As a JW, Were you ever thisclose to having sex and then chickened out?

by Funchback 46 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Funchback

  As a JW, were you ever thisclose to having sex and then chickened out?

  Being raised (since the age of 7) as a JW, I grew up very frustrated sexually. Everything about sex carried a heavy burden of guilt. If you masturbated, you felt guilty. If you stared at a girls' booty, you felt guilty. If you touched a girls' breast (with her permission) you felt guilty.

  But has this ever happened to you? You're with a NON-JW person and your hormones are bouncing off the chart. You're kissing and touching and feeling each other. They want to have sex with you. Then, you're JW guilt-ridden conscience kicks in. You tell her/him you have to go. You leave and then you never talk to that person again.

  Or, it doesn't even have to come down to sex. It could just be a boyfriend/girlfriend thing and, beacuse they're not a JW, you just break up with them out of the blue.

  I am guilty of both scenarios. I ran out on a girl who was about to give up the punani because Jehovah was barking in my ear. I've broken up with many girls because my JW conscience decided to kick in months after I got the girls deeply and emotionally involved with me.

  As a JW, I was good at breaking hearts. Unfortunately, those breakups would break my heart, also.

  Man, it's good not to be a JW anymore.
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  ball.

  No, because the JW indoctination left me extremely innocent and I used to run from women before it even got to that stage.
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  avishai

  Nope, never chickened out!!
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  Funchback

  Hello, ball. Welcome to the Forum.

  Did you get into relationships with non-JW girls and then break-up with them because of guilt?
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  Funchback

  avishai-

  Good for you, dawg! I tend to think you may be the exception, though.
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  ball.

  No - I was extremely shy and innocent, and when finally dated a JW girl I married her. This was many years ago, and I am more older and wiser now, and although I still don't like to admit it, I grew up only when I was shocked by my wifes prolific adultery which she carried on. It's called the loss of innocence and sometimes I wish I could get it back.
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  badwillie

  You know my answer to this question already. As a witness teenager I was a sexual wreck.

  Always tense around girls when things were about to get intimate. I was like the the guy in Animal House with the Angel on one shoulder and the Devil on the other whispering in my ears.

  I broke up with my first real witness girlfriend at 19 because everyone told us we were too young to be together (which of course was absolutlely correct - when you're talking about marriage).

  Then when the guilt and tension got too hard (no pun intended) I would go on a sex "binge" - prowling malls (popular teen meat market in the 80's) or clubs collecting phone numbers. Funch can testify to the fact that neither one of us had any problem "pulling da honeys" back in our heyday. On more than one occassion while on a date with a girl and in the heat of the moment, Jehovah's spirit would tell me to run and repent. Of course she would be very embarassed and surprised - but I just KNEW I was doing the right thing. What strange behavior we witness youths had huh?
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  Nikita

  OMG, too much information

  Nikita
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  Enishi

  Well, I never had any sexual encounters, but would always get uncomfortable whenever non-JWs would show interest in me, or even ask if I was available. I always had to come up with stupid excuses like I wasn't looking for a girlfriend at the moment, or was interested in someone else.

  Interestingly enough, it was always the "worldly" girls who seemed to like me. The dub girls either weren't interested in a brother from a spiritually weak family, or perhaps thought it wrong to show any direct interest at all in boys due to their strict parents.
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  keeshah

  Uh, yeah. I quickly got the name of "pr*** tease".

  In the end when I kept turning myself into the elders, the elders asked me why I didn't just go thru with it. I sat there with my mouth open for awhile because I was so shocked. I finally told them that it was because it's always been pounded into my brain that pre-marital sex is wrong. Of course, they wanted to know all the nasty details. I can't believe I asked for that kind of treatment! And they were the ones that told me I let people talk down to me too much. Man, no wonder I stayed confused for so long.