by Atlantic 23 Replies latest jw friends
I say send the letter threatening legal action if they harrass you....bring up the possibility of suing for alientation of affections if the kids should EVER shun you.
That is exactly what our niece did, and they took it as meaning she no longer considered herself to be a JW, and made the announcement. It doesn't work. When you put things like that in writing, it can backfire on you. It makes for "witnesses".
I'll put my little bit in.
If you are on speaking terms with your Ex who is still a JW, i'll very privately explain to her that your motives for not admitting to Adultary is only because you don't want to stop seeing your children, she should realise that if you are DFed or DAed then your children can't speak to you when they get batized and its not because you don't want her to remarry, its the WTS that's causeing this to you and her.
And they say they don' split family's.
legal threat and tell them that if they influence your kids that you are going to have so many lawsuits up their ass that they'll have to go door to door to pay for their lawyer instead of going door to door to pay for the organization's greed.
I agree with many of the other posters, that threatening legal action is the only way to go. They don't likely have the money to defend themselves.
After the threat of legal action, they very well just might tell her that as far as they are concerned, she has her "freedom" and leave you alone.
Let me get this straight in my mind.
You've been divorced from your wife for 3 years. Hmm obviously you two must have got a divorce on some other grounds and not adultery., Okay..
Now ex wife must want to get involved with someone else and can't because her divorce to you is not seen as legitimate in the elders eyes?..
You live with a woman that you really like..and sleep together...
You were never disfellowshipped.
Now elders want to meet with you and possibly d'fd you...but your worried about access to your kids?
Or your worried that if you are disfellowshipped your kids will turn against you., but won't your kids eventually realize your sleeping with this other woman or are they very young?
I'm a little confused, can you clarify a little more for me.. I Know .. I'm a bit dense!
thanks
special K
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If your divorced for three years.. why not let your ex wife free to re-marry in the J.W. faith and continue her life with someone else?...
sorry, I guess I asked more questions than given you answers..
special K
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Welcome to the board. threatening legal action might be the way to go but I dont know if you should put it in writing. It would depend on the situation.
Hello and welcome to the board.
I would go with threatening legal action. You're in hot water either way. The legal threat may just save you.
Devon
Thanks for all the suggestions. My girlfriend has a family memeber is a lawyer so I think that I will talk to her first but after considering perhaps I will try the legal route - verbally. Special K You are correct in your assumptions. My kids are young 13 and 7 but they know what is going on and they are ok with it all. In fact my ex and I have a pretty cordial relationship. She was upset for the first year or so but has calmed down considerably and she knows why I don't want to get d/fed. My eldest is quite into the witnesses right now I am just hoping that as she gets older she starts to question. Yes my fear is that as she gets older and if she gets baptized she will not want to see me or feel pressured to not see me. I told my ex-wife two years ago that she was free to remarry, but that it would have to be between the two of us as it is nobody else's business. I just find it odd that they are coming after me after all this time. By the way I don't think this has anything to do with my ex as I have asked her about it. Atlantic
I wish you the best of luck here.
IMO-If the elders WANT to DF you, they WILL FIND a way to do so. As for the legal blustering, you do have access to legal counsel that may not be expensive. Most people do not. The BoRg have an almost inexhaustable well to economically draw from. I guess I'm saying if you decide to bluff, be prepaired for them to call you on it.
Just be the best dad to your children that you can be. Spend time doing interesting activities, that they may not have as JW kids. Encourage education and extracuricular activities. Communicate openly with them. Be prepared that they may leave your life for a time if they get baptized. And accept that.
AMAZING(spelling???) does have a wonderful story of how he got his family out. Your situation is different, but the spirit of his concepts could be useful to you.
I do not mean to be or sound presumptuous, I am not a parent, I am not divorced or married.
Welcome.
It sounds to me like you may be dealing with an inexperienced body of elders that feel you should be disfellowshipped as proof of a scriptural divorce. I'd go with the verbal threat of legal action. I'd been out for 2 years when I had some elders start harrassing me and they were scared off when they heard I was considering taking legal action.
I hadn't planned to frighten them, it was the xJW grapevine that reached them, and I subsequently discovered via my JW mother that it was this that had stopped the hunt. She thought it a clever move on my part but it was accidental. Tell the elders via your ex-wife that you'll take legal action if they pester you again.
