the latest discussion between the wife & I (page 4)

drwtsn32

I am never getting married! Never!

Are you saying every marriage is going to be as difficult it can be between a JW and another who just left the org?

Yes, we did. Jennie was born in 1993 and Jackson in 1996, and I was still attending meetings at that time. We talked about how to raise the kids and agreed that they'd go to the Kingdom Hall with me because we didn't really have an alternative and figured that at least it was structure and spiritual education of a sort. It was disturbing to Chris when Jennie started sounding like a "them and us" kind of JW, speaking disdainfully of people who weren't JW's and how they were going to die. Fortunately, that was toward the end of my life as a JW, and she has happily bounced out of it and into the real world now. As for Jackson, the only time he worries about his spiritual future is when he's lied and figures that God is going to be mad at him as well as his parents.

Nina

cruzanheart

Nina, you sure you & Big Tex aren?t from WI and have hung out with us in the past?

Nope, it's just a situation I've seen many times, and since my dad was an elder and my mom a VERY outspoken elder's wife, I heard them give this advice to many a poor woman who wasn't looking for a good marriage but just for someone to sympathize with her and tell her what to do so she has no responsibility of her own to worry about.

Nina

LittleToe

Nina:"Kids" have a big influence on any such decisions, huh?

I count it a blessing that we never had any, due to our "spiritual goals".
Now she adamantly refuses to discuss the subject, along with many others that have nothing to do with "spirituality".

Watson:
I was thinking the same thing. Though being in a dysfunctional relationship can turn your thinking that way.

Aztec

Are you saying every marriage is going to be as difficult it can be between a JW and another who just left the org?

No dude. I'm just a commitment phobe. I think most relationships are doomed but, especially those based on silly cult ideoligies. Poor souls.

~Aztec

Sassy

I originally missed the post when it was there at the beginning so I didn't comment in it then. I still am only guessing what it was about..

I do know that when I was a JW my attitude about things was very different when married to my first husband. There were things which I was not comfortable completely althought it didn't stop us altogether either. But there was always that guilt thing that we were 'bad'.. I think being a JW puts a cramp on a marriage because of all the rules. Even if only one is 'in'.. I can't begin to express the elation I feel in a relationship where I don't have to feel guilty about anything but just give as well as take what ever we offer each other..

If my first husband only knew the things I do now.. lol..

Hope you find your way Winston..

kgfreeperson

I looks to me as if the "perfect" JW marriage is two people joined in worship of the Watchtower Society. Their only needs are supposed to be in supporting each other in being perfect JWs. It also looks to me that the strong marriages we see evidence of here on the board are miracles! I'd like to offer my abject sympathy to all you who are suffering in marriages destroyed by the Watchtower. My brief (9 year) dysfunctional marriage was not influenced, however, by any outside pressures--it was due more to my immaturity and my husband's sense that as the man in the relationship he needed to be forceful and authoritarian even though that really had nothing to do either who he was or who he married. It had something to do with who he thought a man had to be and how a man had to behave to keep himself from being henpecked (there's another phrase that is probably coming to your minds, but I don't wish to give offense :) ). Adding the Watchtower to the difficult proposition of marriage and succeeding, as Nina and Big Tex and others on this board have, is truly inspiring!

LittleToe

kg:

I looks to me as if the "perfect" JW marriage is two people joined in worship of the Watchtower Society.

Yup, I had one of those, hence why I'm a life ruiner.
I look at ones who have retained their partner, and/or family, as living miracles.
I can't help but feel happy for them and sit in awe.

Winston Smith :>D

FYI,

For those that did not see the original post, I just wanted to note that the post dealt primarily with whom my wife & I are putting our trust in; each other & the example of Jesus, or a man-made organization.

I had this disclaimer at the beginning of the post:

?Before any of you pervs [you know who you are] think that the ?sputter? in the subject title means:
1 : to spit or squirt particles from the mouth
please know that it really refers to:
2 : to speak explosively or confusedly in anger or excitement?

The oral sex issue was a very small part of the overall conversation. I brought it up in conversation only to illustrate to her that she is letting the WTS, not her Bible trained conscience dictate her life and our marriage.

Change is inevitable for the both mates. Any other view is unrealistic and a boring life to lead. A true commitment would weather such changes in the marriage. I never gave this too much thought before but it is a point well made.

Thank you for your continued comments, insight & support.

shotgun

Is that your cat?

I was amazed at your original post how much you remembered from your argument with the wifely unit. Remined me of Emotional Blackmail and it's suggestion to write down what took place and what was said in detail after an argument in order to seperated yourself and look at it objectively.

Do you suppose when they run back to the borg like that they put them into an alcove to recharge. Or does another pod just open up and they discard the previous alien?

the latest discussion between the wife & I

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