JW Friends

by Sassy 29 Replies latest jw friends

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  garybuss

  I never lost any JW friends. If people snub and shun me, they never were friends in the first place.
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  luna

  All my JW friends that I would've missed, are no longer JW's. So, it worked out fine for me.
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  simplesally

  There's a few I miss dearly, I'd love to call them and talk about my daughter but even some I lost when I married my ex-husband. I married too quickly, yup, I admit it, and that choice made them question who I really was, I suppose. They may have thought we committed fornication, which we did not, but to them, it was difficult to see why I went from a frying pan into a fire.
  
  I think that all in all, I miss one in particular, she and I weathered alot of storms together and supported each other no matter what. But she is loyal to the WT and what she perceives as showing me love.
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  Sassy

  I keep thinking I should cry or something. I mean friends I had for years and years suddenly when I made the choice to quit are out of my life. I loved them even as I had to tell them. They were a big part of my daily life and I keep thinking I should be sadder. I have put most of their pictures away. I don't want to have to look at them every day. A few I couldn't though. I keep wondering why it doesn't hurt more and then I think I must be just shelfing the feelings.... I keep thinking I should have this void, this empty place in my heart where they were.. but somehow I don't.. Is this normal?
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  Euphemism

  I feel that way most of the time, Sassy. Sometimes, I actually think about them, and about my loss... and it's just too painful. So I don't.
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  Flowerpetal

  All my close JW friends (and there weren't that many) live where I used to live--and I am about 1200 miles from them and I really don't keep in touch and they don't either--just when we go up to visit them which isn't that much. The JW friends I have here are not close, confidential friends, and I prefer it that way. They don't seem like the kind of people I could get close to, except for one who has moved from the area and lives in the northern part of my state.

  My best, closest friend is an agnostic and she lives an hour's drive from here. So we talk on the phone, and try once a month to get together for lunch and to spend the day together and get caught up on our lives. I drive to her house and she treats me to lunch. She is non-judgemental and understands how life works and I like that about her.
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  undercover

  This thread shows that there is something wrong with this religion. So you choose to leave a religion, why does that mean that you can't be friends with some of your old friends from that religion anymore? With most religions you could, no problem, but with JWs you become an outcast, an undesirable and any that associate with you risk being black listed themselves. It's a controlling method to keep everybody in line and to scare people from wanting to leave. Whether it's planned or a byproduct of their belief system, I don't know, but it does work well at causing the feelings discussed in this thread.
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  Sassy

  Most definately that is the problem. When we are JWs (if we are obedient to the WTS), we were not supposed to have friends outside of it and MOST definately NOT those who 'were' and chose to doubt, leave, or be removed. These people would be a risk to your staying in the religion (be careful it might be contageious).

  When SimpleSally got disfellowshipped I told her I did not want to stop seeing her or having contact with her (even though at the time I was trying to be a JW). Because she at first was thinking she wanted back in she said NO, it was the rules and she wanted to stick by them. It was a loss for me while we were not really in touch even though both of us knew that we were there for each other if we needed it. The point is, I was loyal to our friendship because it meant something to me. It did not end because she was disfellowshipped. The day I contacted her I was still a JW and I even knew she was posting on this "apostate" board, but I still contacted her because she was my friend, she was important to me. Later she contacted me and we have been doing things together ever since. In between all that I stopped being a JW. But our friendship meant something to me and being a JW or not being a JW didn't change that.

  Now I have these friends who tell me they 'don't know me' and by my actions they say goodbye. I am not even disfellowshipped or disassociated yet. One friend was so vicious to me she all but told me to commit suicide and then wripped into me for how cruel this was to do to my mother (my leaving) as if to hit that guilt too and then called me immoral and nasty and a bunch of other things.. and SHE claimed to be my friend. How do I miss someone like that?

  I miss some friends in some ways but they were always so judgemental. I don't miss that.. so I wonder if it is just easier not to think about them even though they were a big part of my life???

  and I agree, something is wrong with a religion where you control who your friends are and good, decent people are not allowed, simply because they no longer believe..
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  RedhorseWoman

  I missed my friends initially, but I found that as the years went on, all of the ones who were really friends are now also ex-JWs, and we have been re-establishing our friendships.
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  Sassy

  I am so jealous of those of you (and extremely happy for you!) that some of your ex JW friends are now EXJWs.. and thus you have them back!