by Sassy 29 Replies latest jw friends
I posted this in metatron's thread in reply to Euph's post; re: same topic:
I still think that they were good friends. Of course I'm hurt by the fact that they abandoned me when I left the organization.
Respectfully, this simply does not jive. Good friends do not abandon good friends for an 'organization'. Those kind of 'good friends' never existed. Sad, but true.
Jw "friendships" are based solely on conditions. And we know what those are and were. It's a jagged pill to swallow. I know.
sKally
I've got two in my town that I love so much. I was maid of honor at their wedding, and hoped they'd be in mine as well. I'm not df'd, but it's obviously awkward for them making small talk when they run into me. My boyfriend (worldly all the way) has kept us a little in touch, as he goes to their barbershop and is quite chummy with the husband, and there's always talk of us getting together for dinner, but it never happens. It still blows my mind that they can hang with him easier than with me, as I was a dub who faded, but he never was one at all.
Beyond that, I had some friends in Texas who I miss very much, but it's not so hard since I never see them anyway.
friend(click to hear the word) (fr
n.
tr.v. Archaic friend·ed, friend·ing, friends
Well there are ones I miss, but I don't know if I would call them friends, in the true sense of the word. I now consider them "Acquaintances of Conveniance"
Respectfully, this simply does not jive. Good friends do not abandon good friends for an 'organization'. Those kind of 'good friends' never existed. Sad, but true.
I'm sorry, Skally, but I disagree. Their friendship failed at a very important point, without a doubt. But that doesn't retroactively make them bad friends.
You're entitled to your opinion, of course.
Insomniac, maybe things will get easier as they get used to the situation. It is helpful that they are comfortable around your boyfriend.. I agree about distant friends making it easier. Most of my friends are not where I live any more since I moved to a new area recently. I don't have to worry about running into them at the grocery store, or at TGIFs, etc.. reminders we don't do things together any more..
sf, I have to agree with Euphemism regarding friends and if they 'were' really our friends. The truth is, they probably honestly think out of love they chose to cut off or down association with us, they want us to 'return'..
I was thinking that if you look at the terms that xjw_b12 quoted, it helps us understand how they were our friends..
I understand what you are saying as well.
Yet, as I see it, they never were friends. The word is very dynamic. I don't take it's meaning at face value. There is much more too friend-ship than just 'being' friends.
Yet, as you say, it is my opinion. I respect yours too.
sKally
We respect yours too SF.. It was a conditional friendship and that is not what one considers a friend of the heart.. I also know that my closest friend has shed tears over losing me because of my choice to leave. Her heart is hurt too..
I think the whole thing is sad that we can be so brainwashed to think this is a benefit to shun to try to save the friend.. which ultimately is what they think they are doing.. unfortunately it was a lie we all were pulled into.. they just don't know it yet..
I never had JW friends. I didn't fit in with any of the cliques in my KH.
OOOOhhh.. I hated cliques!! sorry that is all you had in your congregation and experience with JWs..
well.. maybe the bright side of it is you don't have any of them to miss now.. ??
The ones I miss are ex-JW too but I cant get a hold of them because I've moved so much since then that I dont really have a way to get in touch with them. The couple that are still in will still talk to me but we dont live in the same city so we dont hang out or anything and I think if I did live in the same city we probably still wouldnt hang out cause I wouldnt want them to be put in a difficult spot. but i know they're there if I need them.
