Alone and Lost. Please help me understand. (page 3)

kgfreeperson

My heart goes out to you, Amy. All I have to offer is my sympathy--but I do think the advice to find an Al-Anon group to attend is worth considering!

gumby

This definitely happened in a case I was close to ... but the loyal JW wife decided not to divorce her husband, though she was counseled to do so.

So you know of a case in which an elder body ENCOURAGED a woman to divorce her husband on grounds other than adultry? Hmmmm.......that's a new one on me but I don't doubt it. Their action goes against anything the society has put in print that I know of. Certain Elder bodies, pull boners from time to time. Do you feel their action is a common action with Elder bodies in this regard?

Gumby

Sunnygal41

DY, yeah, what are you doing reading this then? If you don't like it, get out of the thread!!!!

I strongly object to you making moral judgements on others.........

Terri

czarofmischief

Certain Elder bodies, pull boners from time to time.

Wow... wish we could get that on video... Elders Gone Wild!!!

Glad they didn't pull those boners when I was getting JC'd. I was confused enough as it was.

CZAR

gumby

Glad they didn't pull those boners when I was getting JC'd.

Are you sure they didn't?

Gumby

Amy in PA

Thank you all so much. Let me say that I am overwhelmed with the spirit of helpfulness, kindness and understanding represented in your responses. I have to take it all in and digest it for a few hours. For now, I am still wiping away the tears. I will respond and post later today. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

I do have a question, and I hope someone will be able to explain this and respond soon: (more questions later)

?? If the JW who is guilty of adultery gets a legal divorce, is he free to remarry scripturally? I was under the impression that only the non-guilty party would be scripturally free to remarry.

talesin

married man

all religious stuff aside

He's a cheater.

How can you be sure he won't cheat on you?

... just a thought; I agree with Nos

This is a tough one, it's hard to see clearly when we are in love.

talesin

Lady Lee

According to the JWs, the marriage bond is broken through adultery or death. It doesn't matter who did it. But as someone said she could forgive him in this case. The it is up to him to accept that or not.

I committed adultery to get away from my abusive elder husband. After all the agony of doing this he turned around and said he would forgive me. Ha! The man held a grudge for 15 years before he said anything to me about it. Besides I wanted out and this was my way to do it (not recommended unless dire circumstances). The elders said if I refused his forgiveness then the marriage was over forever scripturally. I would not be able to change my mind later.

Mind you that was way back in 1985 and some elders may do things a bit different now. Once both the scriptural and legal divorces are obtained both parties are free to marry.

If a couple gets a legal divorce they would be legally separated but still married in the eyes of the JWs unless one had sex outside of marriage. So if a married JW couple got a legal divorce but not a scriptural one neither partner would be allowed to marry in the JW kingdom Hall. If one of them married someone else legally then the scriptural marriage would be over.

Lordy this is so d*mned stupid. Amy he should know all this stuff.

Since he would be the guilty one all he has to do is go and confess and say he doesn't want to go back to his wife. The scriptural marriage would be over and he would be free to legally marry someone else once the legalities are out of the way. He might be disciplined by the elders but eventually there would be no reason why you both couldn't be together. He might never (or at least not for a very long time) get any responsibility in the congregation but from what you say it sounds like he isn't now anyways.

Feel free to email me [email protected] or leave me a PM

DevonMcBride

Hi Amy and welcome. I'm also in PA

Devon

Galimo

My daughters mother-in law was disfellowshipped after confessing of an affair 3 years prior to her confession. The elders reasoning was........she was hiding a sin. She confessed and was sorry and they still disfellowshipped her. Your bf probably knows he faces the same trial.

Well it is a question of being repented or not. If you repent and atone, etc., if they see that you are really sorry for having broken Gods laws then they most probably will not disfellow you but only dicipline you otherwise.

It happened to me.

Alone and Lost. Please help me understand.

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