Okay?I?m 14 years old. My father has been a J.W for all of my life. My parents got divorced when I was 6, and then my mom was later disfellowshiped. My mom posts on this board too, but I don?t want to say who she is since there are J.Ws that come to this board. Well, ever since that day, I have had my doubts about the religion, but thought nothing of them because that?s the way I was being raised. I had never liked going to the meetings when I was little and I still don?t now. So, now I feel like I?m living a double life, one where I can have all the friends and do what normal kids do? and one where my life completely sucks and I have to go to the meetings every time I?m with my dad. As I began to get older I started realizing that this wasn?t the right religion for me? if I even wanted to be in a religion. So for the past year or two I feel like I love but I also hate my father for making me waste half of my life on something that I don?t believe. My dad has always been a ?control freak?. And a few months ago, when I questioned religion he went off on me telling me that Jehovah doesn?t approve of questioning faith. I have done a little research about Charles Taze Russell and about the several false statements of Armageddon in 1975? and other dates too. At some point I?m going to tell my dad how I feel but, I want to research it on my own so he can?t say I?m doing it because my mom said so. It?s really getting hard for me to live this way and I was hoping that I could get some help or advice from anyone who has been through a similar situation.
I?d really appreciate anything that anyone wants to say? thanks guys
Wow for only 14 you certainly have a lot of things to consider in your life. And you write very well. Putting your thoughts and questions in a logical order. Bet you're still on the Ministry School! *snort, snort* sorry
I hope you take some time to read through other people's experiences that have been posted on this discussion board. You are not alone in your experiences. But you are right, only you can make a decision that you will have to talk to your dad about.
May I suggest M. Scott Peck's book "The Road Less Traveled". It is not a JW book but he is a psychiatrist. Very good principles to apply in life.
Hugs,
Joy
edited for ps, please for the sake of the *cough* old folks here, will you use a larger size font? Thank you. *putting reading glasses away.
Welcome to the board! At least you have your mom on your side, so you've got some one to talk to on this. I've had problems with my parent is the past with them both being jw's and me not now, but the thing I always try to remember is that they are under the mind control of a cult, and even though they do things that might upset/hurt me it doesn't mean that they don't like me or anything else just that they're doing it because they DO care about me. Even if I disagree with their actions I try to think of their motive behind it, which to them is trying to save my life so I don't die at armegedon. This is a good place for you to be able to find out about things, but don't just believe everything you read, think about what you read, and how it relates to ideas you already have and make your own mind up from there. And if you talk to your dad about it remember the saying 'theres more than one way to skin a cat', a different approach can maybe get your point across without himn classing you as an apostate and keep relations good between you both. I hope everything works out for you!
edited to add - and some of us younger ones have no problem with it, Joyzabel is just showing her age! ROFLMAO!
Welcome to the board. You are in a spot, where you are realizing something, that not many your age realize. It looks like you have a decent outlook on things, and you should be proud of yourself for being able to see through all that you have experienced. Soon it's decision time, as to where you will go with your life. At least you are seeing some new horizons. And coming here, you will find that many are or have been in the same spot. We are all of different ages, but all share the same. There will be ups and downs. Approvals and disapprovals from some. But it's YOU, you have to think about. This is YOUR life in question. And only YOU will decide what you want out of life. Living a double, conscience pricked, life will only do you harm. I am so proud of you to have expressed yourself at 14. I have two girls 16 and 19, but they are still in the organization. And my heart hurts for them. At least you are realizing another truth about what you have been taught.
Take your time and do your research. It WILL come to you. Talk to us anytime.
Your Brother,
Puternut.
PS. Is it just my imagination, or are we seeing a lot of new ones here lately?
Welcome to the board Blink,
I'm sure you will get some advice here. I like with Joy and Gadget have said, in fact Gadget, while not a teen, has dealt with some of your problem recently. At the same time let me just warn you that since this is a public board you may have a couple sarcastic remarks but you sound tough enough to endure that if it happens.
You said:
my mom was later disfellowshipped. . . . . .Well, ever since that day, I have had my doubts about the religion
Your reaction is understandable. The Witness application of shunning (disfellowshipping) is obviously cruel and un-Christ like. Your 6 year old sense of justice could see something was terribly wrong with your dad's religion. But I am sure if you keep investigating your dad's religion you are going to find many more inconsistencies.
Have you tried a local library for books about Jehovah's Witnesses? I suggest you try them or a local Christian book store. The reason I suggest this is because when you learn more about the JWs you will have something clear to stand on when you do talk to your dad. And going to the library or book store on your own would allow you to honestly say to your dad
"No, this is not what my mom is telling me, but this is what I have learned from my own personal research".
That way he will perhaps deal with you and your new information rather then assume he is fight your mom on this and the whole world of ex Jehovah' Witnesses.
As to how to approach your dad, I hope you will be very respectful. Remember what Gadget said about why witness parents do what they do.
He is still your father and hopefully your approach will show him you are a compitent young man who has done his research and has respectfully come to a different conscientious decision. Hopefully he will have some respect for your conscience too.
Enough from me. I hope you get a lot of responses. And feel free to come back with questions and comments. This is a "discussion board". Take care.
STeve
Yes, JWism is a mind-bendingly boring and stifling religion. For people like your dad though, life outside of it is unimaginable. As you well know, your dad, for many years, has been told again and again and again that Satan is out to destroy the faith of active JW's and keep non-JW's from getting knowledge of the trooth. So presenting things to him in a direct way that challenge his beliefs may not be very productive.
Welcome to the board. I'm so sorry you have to go through this with your father. If you read my profile I've had a hard time with my dad too. The only piece of advice I could give you is to reference the Bereans (sp?). They questioned what they were taught and were praised by the Apostle Paul for it. Jehovah gave you a brain to think and ask questions. If it's REALLY the truth, what's your dad scared of?
Keep coming to this board. I hope you can find warmth and closeness with your mom. She probably needs you as much as you need her.
You seem so mature for your age!!! Wow! You are thinking of things that I didn't think of until I was way older. I'm glad you are tho....because you can get a life while your young. Good luck to you! And welcome again.
