hi im new (help) (page 3)

CountryGuy

Welcome to the Board, Blink!

There are so many great people here for you to get support from. I hope you enjoy it here.

CountryGuy

Welcome to the board. I have to say that you are very insightful young woman/man. I understand what you are going through. I for myself decided to disassociate myself about 1 1/2 years ago and let me tell ya, I was going through the similar situation. In fact many of us here have.

May I suggest "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz? You probably don't know who he is or who he was. I didn't know either before I read his book. He was one of the Governing Body Members, who got disfellowshiped unjustly. He basicly tells his side of story and more including 1975. This book was my eye opener. Before I read this, whenever I asked about the past of Watchtower Society, all jws told me that all the negative things about them were lies. Well, well, guess who was lying? After reading this I got my proof (thanks to Ray Franz's references and the Watchtower CD Rom), and ask the same question again to the same jws. Then they told me that all those things really happened, but we are not supposed to talk about it, and not even to have those "negative thoughts."

Argh, I've been thinking lately that I was so stupid and naive. Don't be afraid, blink. Those Watchtower people were supposed to be stoned to death several times if we were still under Moseic Law. Keep in touch with your mom. Tell her your thoughts. Start building REAL friendship with other people. Your so called "friends" at the kingdomhall will shun you and treat you like gross sinner if you leave their organization. They are not going to even look at you. But don't be afraid. Keep your chin up.

Remember that you are the one who stands up for what is right, and that you are the one who refuses to trade your own conscience for injustice and lies.

You can click on my profile and email me anytime you want.

Love

SunshineToo

sunshineToo

Oh, yeah, just as someone mentioned earlier, NEVER get baptized. Then you don't even have to worry about being shunned!!! Because they are not going to. They only shun baptized people, and they could get very technical about this.

Winston Smith :>D

WS, I could read it! HA Joyzabel

See, you're not such an old bird after all. So throw away those reading glasses of yours

Carmel

Welcome Blink!

Wow, a flashback to my youth. I came to the same conclusion at age 12 but couln't physically leave for 2.5 years. Being a girl, you have fewer options of going your own than I did at your age. But, you are on the right track arming yourself with logic, reason and experiance. I'd suggest hitting the library as often as you can and do some reading and searching the net. All you really need is for your father to acknowledge that each person is responsible for their own beliefs and choices. You are preparing yourself to make just the life directing changes that you chose, not anyone else. Expect to be labeled all kinds of nasty things. It comes with the territory of being different, especially different than the sheep class!

I wish you the very best and hope you can stick around.

carmel

Joyzabel

"Being a girl,"

sorry, where did that come from? I didn't pick up on gender, how did you deduce that?? Just curious. I bet it's not a girl.

WS, thank you sweetie, but I did have my reading glasses on to read that! lolololol

Joy

phhhhhhhph on "old bird" hmmmmmmmmm

Steve Lowry

Hey blink,

You?re gonna be just fine. You already have the greatest advantage in your corner, and that is your mom?s understanding of your situation and her support. I?m quite sure your dad loves you, but as you probably realize, he?s under the influence of the Watchtower Society. What HE does and chooses to decide for HIS life is his decision. What you do for YOUR life is YOUR decision, right? Right. So continue to look to your mom for support and try and distance yourself from the "Organization" at the same time. At fourteen I would think you should have at least some freedoms. Perhaps its time to tell your dad that your won?t be going to all the meetings anymore. Or maybe you may have decided to stop going all together? You sound like you are very much where I was at fourteen. My dad was not a JW and my mom was. And when I was about fourteen, I decided I wasn?t going to the K. Hall anymore and I had the unspoken but nevertheless present support of my dad. So I stopped going. It didn?t make my mom happy, but it did me! Unfortunately a few years later (due to my mom?s constant nagging abut 1975) I allowed myself to be coerced back into believing in the organization and got baptized and later got married, only to finally realize that my decision to leave at fourteen was the correct choice. Sadly it took several years to come to that conclusion.

Every situation is different and I?m not suggesting a formula to you here. You have to weigh all the considerations that are unique to you situation and then act. Certainly, you aren?t going to get baptized at this point, so there?s no worries there.

OK, now what I?m about to suggest you be very careful and thoughtful about, ok? Do you spend time with both parents? If so, I?m sure they both cherish the time they have with you. Well, if I were in your situation, I would let it be known to my dad that I no longer want to be actively involved with the meetings and that goes with it. Or, maybe you could start the process of ?teaching? him about what your wishes are a bit at a time? It doesn?t mean you don?t love him, it means he has learn to respect who you are as you continue to grow and become the individual that you are going to be. This can be a threatening proposition for any parent. But allowing your kids to develop into who they are without controlling them in the process is what it means to be a good parent and advisor.

Don?t fall for any of the fear tactics that he may decide to parrot of the Society?s, about those who leave. That?s a simple but effective manipulation placed onto the Jehovah?s Witness by those in control who don?t want to loose their control. You don?t need the Watchtower Society, it needs you. When the JW realizes that, the organization looses control. But it sounds like you got that figured out already.

Remember this, as it will become more and more important to you go/grow through the years. You make your way through this world ultimately, and you have to decide what is and what is not best for you. It?ll be all right. Just be true to who you are as you discover that along the way.

Good luck in your journey.

Steve L.

dustyb

hey, if you want to read "crisis of consience" you kinda needa tell either mommy or something because you can't order it w/o a credit card =D otherwise, tell your daddy what you think and see what he has to say. i can remember my mom being the same way but she didn't listen to me much. matter of fact, she still says i'm hard headed and wrong about what i think about the WTS right now, so no biggy....

MegaDude

Hi Blink,

I would bet your dad is hanging onto Jehovah's Witnesses for reasons even he doesn't know. I remember my own childhood growing up in the JWs and it sucked because my mother (who was the JW in our family) was obsessed with us all being *the perfect WItness children.*

I would bet you have some anger toward your dad for forcing you against your will to be a part of the Watchtower. But maybe there is another way to think about it. Your dad is lost. And maybe....just maybe you can do something to help him get out. I do not believe anyone leaves the Jehovah's Witnesses quickly. It is usually a slow process, kind of like waking up gradually from a deep sleep. It is probably good that it's slow because there are so many shocking changes that happen in your life, your relationships, how you feel, that it gives you time to adjust to the fact that your entire life is now going to be different when you leave that controlling religion.

If you want to talk to your dad about your feelings about the Watchtower, remember this. Many times it's not what you say, it's how you say it. You said your dad is a control freak. Control freaks freak out when their control is challenged. So challenging someone to their face who is like that doesn't help them because all they can think about is trying to control you.

One method of talking to control freaks (most JWs in my opinion) that works very well is to ask questions. A question is not as threatening to a control freak. Rather, the control freak will usually think he can answer your question. It doesn't make him feel as threatened and make him upset as quick.

Here's an example of what I mean.

How not to help a JW:

You: This Watchtower is a bunch of lying crap and it's a cult! Look at this crap they said just a few years ago about the end of the world coming in 1975!!!!!

Your dad: Your mother is making you think like an apostate! She's leading you into Satan's hands! You need to study the Watchtower more!

----------------------------

and now a more strategic way to say the same thing in a different, smarter way if you want to help a JW think:

You: Dad, I just don't understand some things about the Watchtower. If they have the truth, why do they keep predicting the time of the end and it never comes true? Help me to understand that.

(When he tries to explain it, show him all the many crazy quotes the Organization has said for the end of the world that never came true.)

You see, the smarter way is to let the JW think he is in charge. All JWs believe they have the truth and that they should be able to answer any question. By asking questions you can show your father a lot of different things that are wrong with the Watchtower without picking a fight because you are letting them *feel* like they are in charge.

What you need now is a good understanding of the history of the Watchtower and the proof to back up what's wrong with it. It's a big job learning the history of your father's religion, but it is worth it. It will be like doing an after-school project. It will be worth it because:

1. You'll know for sure that the Watchtower is not God's one true organization.

2. You may be able to help your father eventually leave the Watchtower. This is a long shot, but it does happen and it's worth trying for.

hi im new (help)

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