My wonderful Valentine's Day.............

Tatiana

I was off work. I bought my "friend" a pair of expensive jeans. A "Starter" red shirt. A pair of silk, heart boxers. 3 old Van Halen tapes he'd lost. (I spent 2 days looking for them.) Red, furry handcuffs. A "Wisconsin Badgers" red cap. Valentine's Day balloons.

A sexy card.

What I got was a nightmare. I came home to a drunk man staggering in the bedroom. I'd already told him numerous times I would NOT go out with him when he was drinking. He got pissed and demanded the car keys. I refused. He got abusive. I threw the keys at him. He left.

Should I call the cops? What if he kills someone? How could I live with that? I'm between a rock and a rock.

I can't sleep. I cry. Where is he? Has he hurt anyone?

I hear him come in. 5am. Stumbling. Falls into bed. Smells like a still. Whew....at least he's home.

Get up...go to the gargage. I have to go to work. OMG..........what the f***???????????????

Headlight hanging by a wire. Trunk is all bent in. Huge dent in the side. Tailight hanging off. Inside the car. An upturned soda soaks the seat. Onions and lettuce smashed on the floor. The car reeks. The drain pipe and heating vent in our apartment garage is smashed.

I start to sob loudly. Why am I here? Why did I believe him? What is this doing to my kids?

I confront him. He doesn't remember what/who he hit. What if the police come to the door? What if he hurt someone? He says..."It's nothing. He can fix it. If I had gone out with him, it wouldn't have happened." It's MY fault now.

I am in hell and I can't get out.

ozziepost

So sorry, Tatiana. It's hell indeed!

You know how we came to appreciate the saying "There's no gain without pain" when we had to cut away from the "mother organisation"?

Seems to me the same could be said for abusive relationships - cut it now or you'll be forever a partner who's spending a lifetime of maltreatment.

OK, that's my say.

I hope the sky is blue for you again real soon.

Cheers, Ozzie

Tatiana

oz..........understand.....this is why I'm crying. I don't have the ability to leave right now, without being homeless. Although, that may be the better option. I am waiting on my income tax to buy my own car. And I'm looking for an apartment. I just passed the "postal" exam. And have been hired as a rural carrier. Until it's full time, I'm stuck in the abyss, and he knows it.

I would rather live in a shack with a sober man, than in a mansion with an alcoholic.

bisous

sorry Tatiana for your painful situation.

But you CAN get out. One step at a time. Just like the JWs. You are STRONG. believe it!!!

Weight Lifting

Tatiana

(((bisous)))........you are right. I WILL get out. Plans are already in the works. I will NEVER let myself be in this situation ever again. I was down, and I listened to his lies. I think I wanted to believe, rather than listen to my gut.

Now, I'm in a place where I know no one. He's taking advantage of that. But, it will all backfire. I feel better just talking about it. And I am strong.

talesin

{{{Tatiana}}}

I'm happy you're making plans to get out ASAP. This person is obviously in too much pain - you and your kids need to be away from him. You are such a sweetie, this is not the life for you (or anyone).

Take care ... I'll be thinking of you. Here's a hug

tal

Maverick

I am saddened to hear of your experience. From your comments I must conclude that this person has act poorly in the past. I don't mean to sound harsh but, "Why did you pick him?" Surely you can do better, are worth more than he realizes, and would be better off without this little boy in a mans body. I am not trying to make this sound like it is all your fault. But half of it is. The half where you let this loser stay in your life. Someone has to be the adult here and it ain't gonna be him! Time to find a man worhty of you. Walk outside and stand up tall and yell out...."NEXT!" I wish you the best, Maverick

reboot

((((((tatiana))))))) im' so so sorry....I hope you can find this thread again and remember how you're feeling now and how mad and upset you are for when the appologies begin and you start to feel low. I really hope you can stay focussed.I hope you can find somewhere to live soon and get your life back.well done with the exam- you're amazing and you can do this ...((((( thinking of you )))))))

LittleToe

((((Tat))))

Xena

Time to find a man worhty of you

Screw that, you don't NEED a man! You are strong and you are beautiful and you don't need anyone but yourself! Your going thru a horrible time but you will survive because you are a SURVIVOR April! I'm proud of the steps you are taking to get yourself out of that situation...just keep moving and looking foward....because you can do it!

I love you April

My wonderful Valentine's Day.............

Share this