Today, an elder stopped by my work just to say hello and invite me to the Memorial! He asked me if the Presiding Overseer had called me yet because he and another elder were going to give me a call at home to set up a visit. He said they (the elders) decided this on their elder's meeting last night.......So what do you think is going to happen when I tell them I'm not going to allow them to make a "shepherding" call????
Guess What? I Got ANOTHER Visit From An Elder Today
by minimus 36 Replies latest jw friends
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franklin J
play it "cool" Min, real "cool"
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shotgun
I know they mean well but I'm sick of that term..."shepherding" call
If they only knew who was really getting fleeced.
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Sunnygal41
I'm sorry............but, I gotta say this................how can you stand doing the fade thing? This is exactly what would drive me 'round the bend.................them bugging me every time I turn around.............it's like if you have a bandaid on and you know it's gonna hurt.............which would you rather do........yank it fast and have one quick burst of pain..........then it heals, or that teeth gritting slow pull where it hurts like mad for a loooonnnng time?
Min, I don't mean to sound judgemental or tell you what to do, just had to say my piece. I will now get off my soap box..................
Terri, of the hope Min still loves me class
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JH
Tell them that you need time alone to think things over without interference.
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codeblue
Min: How long has it been since you have attended a meeting?
Codeblue
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scotsman
It worked well for me Minimus. Tell them that if you need/want to talk to them you know where they are and that they'd be glad to help. Firm but polite - it's hard for them to get round that wall.
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codeblue
Sunnygale: I have been fading since last June. I haven't received any shepherding visits. My husband has, and he quit going before me and I was attending many meetings without him.....
Fading can work out quite well!!!
Codeblue
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willyloman
I'm in the same boat!
After an elder dropped by my place of work (I was out of the office) and left me a short note in a sealed envelope (nothing serious, just Hi, How ya doin', Miss ya), I got message left on my machine that I didn't feel I should ignore. So I called back, continued to play the "sick card" that has worked really well so far (no meetings in over three months, no phone calls for two whole months).
I did my best to stay under the radar and not say anything that would send up flags. The elder said, "We really need to get over there and visit you guys so we can encourage you." Having played the sick card already, I simply responded that it would be good to call in advance to make sure we "were up to having a visit." He assured me that they'd call in advance and said he hoped we'd start feeling better soon.
At one point, he expressed concern that we were missing meetings and service and that this was probably " a real source of discouragement to you." I wanted to say, no, actually, it's been terrific, but I didn't. I stretched the truth a bit and said, "Well, we know a lot of people in several congregations here and people have been really good about taking care of us." The truth is, we've had maybe 2 calls in three months from publishers expressing concern over our absence. But I didn't want him to think we were in need of "emergency assistance." His response? "That's great, that's what friends are for, right?"
Our next move? We plan to screen all calls, as usual, and ignore the first message left on our machine. If there are multiple messages, I'll call back a day later and say, "Thanks for you call. We really aren't feeling like having company right now, but I'll call you when it's a good time." Of course, I won't call.
My hope is that by putting them off a few times, we'll fall off the radar again. So, that's my plan. This is sure stressful, though! Meanwhile, we're working on getting the whole family out. That's going much better than I would have thought. Once they're all "rescued," I can be more forthright.
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minimus
I haven't been to a meeting since the summer. I've been told that the PO was supposed to call me a number of months ago but I'm sure that now that we're all inactive, our names are on the list to invite such ones to the Memorial. FWIW, if I was told that I HAD to meet with them or else they'd convene a JC meeting, I'd tell them to do what they've got to do and I will do the same.