Welcome Surfacing! And ya it gets better the farther away you place yourself from the guilt and fear of being a Jehovahs Witness. Enjoy the reading and hope to hear more from you.
Sincerely,
District Overbeer
Does it ever get easier?
by Surfacing 43 Replies latest jw experiences
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Truth2Me
Welcomes ((((surfacing)))))
Yes, it does get better, my first year out I was a horrible mess, but the pain, confusion, and internal battles that go on inside do ease up over time.
Let the healing begin
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Golf
Welcome and to the Mrs.
Does it get easier? Just keep surfing the way your surfing, surf. You got your best friend with you, enjoy each other's company and don't let negative comments influence you.
Happy Trails.
Guest 77
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Sentinel
Hi There and Welcome. I like your name "surfacing". Makes me visualize a person who is struggling in deep water...tired and seemingly so far from shore. Yet, that desire to survive gives that rush of adrenalin just when we need it; and you might go under for a moment, but when you do, you hold your breathe, and when you surface, you breathe in and breathe out. And, now, you've made it here, and we extend a hand to you, to pull you closer yet to shore.
You will make it!! Breathe in...breathe out. See, you're feeling better already.
/<
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Surfacing
Wow. I hadn't anticipated this much of a reaction at all. Thank you to everyone for your candor. Thanks for making me feel welcome, because I haven't felt that in a while. The most frightening thing for me presently is being trapped. I can't leave or I'll lose everyone. I have a couple of sisters who are amazing people; great moms, dynamic personalities and intelligent. When they left I saw how my family treated them. I know what they told me about them, outright slanderous lies... and I was only a little child who grew to hate his older sisters. When they tried to contact me, I was told it Satan was using them to twist the truth and lead me away, when now I realise they simply wanted contact with their baby brother. I'm getting to know them again, which is a bright light in all of this. I just remember my mother saying, "how could anyone be so foolish to turn their back on Jehovah and everlasting life?" as I nodded my little head in agreement. It makes me sick to think she would say that about me to my family and friends. I don't know what I'll do in the future. I want to thank everyone for their helpful advice and kind words. It's been great just scanning this site realizing I'm not alone in everything. Maybe I will surface. I feel like I'm drowning right now though.
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Valis
Don't worry...just put on these and stick around...vent all you want and know we're around to talk to..Compliments of JWD...
Sinderely,
District Overbeer
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Narkissos
Welcome Surfacing, and thanks for sharing this.
Emotions come and go, but there is more to you than your emotions. Trust it.
Take care,
Narkissos
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franklin J
Hi Surfacing,
welcome to the forum. You are among friends.
to answer your question about it getting easier; the answer is yes, it does. Just give it time.
It is good that you have your wife with you for support and encouragement. Make as many friends on the outside as you can. Having a support network of friends is so important. Keep your chin up and keep a poitive mental attitude; just move forward with your life. The more positive experiences you have on the outside; the easier it will become to forget. I speak from experience.
I understand how you feel about losing your father; I recently went through that also. Still juggling feelings with that one. It has been a year and I am beginning to smile when I think about him. I am sure that wherever our Dads are; they are smiling at us.
This forum is an great resource for those just leaving the JWs. You will find much support.
regards, Frank
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Insomniac
Hi, Surfacing! You have no idea how much better it will get. Any time you start to doubt your decision to leave, remind yourself how they treated you-so hateful. I'm glad you and your gal got married; that's between you and her, and you don't need anybody's "permission".
Welcome to the board!!!
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Dawn
Welcome surfacing!
Your story really struck a cord with me - I suffered from guilt at not doing "enough" for years. I was eventually DF'd basically because I gave up, I couldn't do enough and I knew I wasn't good enough so why bother.
The answer to your question "does it get any easier" is YES! I was petrified to look at anything that might be "apostate" - but I had so many questions - so I was stuck there for years. It took 12 years for me to finally reach that cross roads where I knew I had to make a decision - move on or go back. I started praying to God again, only this time I didn't spend all my time apologizing for how awful I was and begging for mercy - I just told him all the questions that I had and that I wanted to research but I was scared. It was an amazing turning point in my life because immediately after I finished the prayer that night a thought came into my head - a very strong overpowering word - just one word - ASK! And I knew - he was telling me it was ok to research. The truth is there to be found and only by searching with an open mind can we find it. So I started to research.
That was a big turning point in my life.
As for your comments about guilt over not preaching to someone who might later die at Armageddon - you're putting an awful lot of responsibility on your own shoulders and not recognizing that God is much bigger than that. No one is going to miss out on eternal life because you failed to talk to them about Jesus - the bible makes it clear that it is the Holy Spirit's job to reach people with the message. We are only the tools he uses. Sometimes we're right on target - and sometimes we screw up and miss the pitch - but we're only human and he doesn't loose the ball game because of us. He puts another player on bat and gives us another chance later on. Your salvation does not come because you preached to enough people - it comes through faith in Jesus.
Romans 3:21-23 But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
My advice to you - stop trying to carry the load of the world on your shoulders. Jesus has already taken on that load.
Hang in there. From someone who has made it through to the other side - life is wonderful!