Does it ever get easier? (page 4)

Carmel

Welcome Srufacing! Yes it gets easier! Time and tide takes care of most everything. The fear, guilt and panic is a natural result of the abnormal dysfunctional pressure you've been subjected to. Any psychologist worth his/her salt will tell you that guilt and fear combine over time to kill the psyche, ( I think they usually have trouble calling it the human spirit). But take heart, you are resilient and certainly by how you introduced yourself, capable of leaving the JW crap behind and getting on with living a productive and rewarding life. Don't worry about doctrins, beliefs and all the religious trappings. Take a decade and get your life together materially, socially and spiritually. Notice I didn't equate religious and spiritual.. focus on the human qualities of tolerance, forgiveness, and love and don't let the anguish of regret, and uncertainty that comes with the eventual shunning and attempts at coersion dampen your resolve to look for the good in life and people. The more you do this and the longer you persist, the more the old feelings melt away.

Best of all to you and your wife.

carmel

Nadsam

Welcome, welcome welcome !

This is indeed the best place to come too when you feel trapped. JWD has the kindest , most knowledgeable EX-JW's who all know what its like ...from all around the world. I wish you the best and hope you find genuine peace of mind now that you're on your on way "freedom road".You are doing the right thing.

Goodluck

Nadsam

Mrs Ozzie

Hello Surfacing,

Just read your brave post. So many of us have been (and are still going through) what you are now feeling. Short answer is that it really does get easier..and you have a wonderful time getting there....it's called FREEDOM! !!!!!!! Freedom from oppressive teachings (which scripturally are completely wrong)...Freedom from oppresive elders .....Freedom to think for yourself.....Freedom to read what you like....Freedom to choose your own friends...Freedom to explore real Christianity.....Freedom to read the Bible as a letter to you from your own loving heavenly father....Freedom to think what it is saying without someone's interpretation.....Freedom to time with your wife.... Freedom to really pray to Jehovah to help you sort out what to believe....Freedom ....Freedom to THINK!!!

Go for it...don't stop now you've got this far!!

Cheers, Mrs Ozzie

talesin

W E L C O M E !

surfacing - I like your name

feels good to take a deep breath, doesn't it?

talesin

mann377

Great post! Surfacing

That noise I just heard were the chains droping off you! No more a spiritual hostage.

Joyzabel

Welcome Surfacing

and Nadsam and other ones I haven't welcomed before.

Leaving a high control group, one has to go through the stages of grief.

Denial (shock of what you are learning and it can't be true)

Anger (so its ok to be angry, you have every right to be. But if you feel you can't deal with your anger properly, seek professional help)

Bargaining (if I do such and such, maybe it will be ok, maybe I don't have to face the consequences of what I've learned, etc)

Depression (allow yourself time to grieve, to assess what you have done in the past and where you are going in the future)

Acceptance (finaly getting on with your life)

If you get stuck in one phase too long or you keep going through a cycle of only two or three phases, you need to look into professional help. Learn to trust yourself and step back and evaluate yourself, then you'll know if you are stuck or cycling.

At this discussion board you will read of many experiences that maybe similar to your own. Most people learn alot from reading other's expereinces. It is also a good place to vent. No one understands the mindset of JWs like xJWs that had to go through the grieving process and deprogramming process.

Again, welcome.

Joy

Flash

Time...and allowing yourself to think critically again, to analyze and see the errors of the JW's.
To understand it is their thinking (or lack of it) and not yours, that is the problem. There are likely to be some rough spots ahead but in time you'll go from this to this .

Welcome.

Frannie Banannie

Welcome to JWD, Surfacing! I'm so sorry that you've had to suffer at their hands, hon. I left the borganization back in 1992 because of the extreme lack of love which identified them as NOT God's people....but not without telling the Governing Haughty what I thought about 'em first.

We welcome you with open arms here and I know that you and your wife will find solace, comfort, encouragement and lotsa info here that will help you with your exodus from the borg. Matter of fact, here's the URL to a post that will help yall with some psych issues yall'll be dealing with....

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/16/57203/1.ashx

and jgnat's posted topic "Newbies, Everything You Wanted to Know but Were Afraid to Ask"

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/58215/1.ashx

Frannie B

Double Edge

Hi Surfacing ... BIG WELCOME!

I'm one of the few 'never been a JWs' on this board, so I'll let my compadres on this board give you advice from their mutual unique experiences. I enjoyed your post. Take a deep breath, all is well, really.

You said... "I love God and want to be a good person".... well, according to the scriptures you're in very good shape. Life is a wonderous journey of exploration, truly a gift from God. Relax, learn and move forward. God is "positive" and full of illumination and light.... I found that to be a good measuring stick in trying to figure certain things out. Religion/Faith or whatever you want to call your spiritual journey should be 'positive' and 'illuminating'. If it's not, you'd better take another look.... why just settle for something subordinate to what you truly want.

my 2 cents

gold_morning

Oh Surfacing,

My heart goes out to you. Although I have been away for many years, your post brought back very vivid recollections.

I was raised a JW and was a pioneer. I left in the early 80's and lost my family and friends. I remember the panic attacks all too well. I spent 16 years away from God because I really believed what they told me. That God wanted nothing more to do with me and would not even hear my prayers.

It was many years later I began to read the bible again. I read it fresh, with out the Watchtower glasses on. I could not believe how different the things were that I was reading from what I had been brought up to believe.

Yes.... this religion in particular makes people selfrighteous. But the bible says that only Jesus makes us righteous before God. The bible says that we can not earn our salvation and love. We just have it. It is a gift from God. No amount of meetings or door to door service earns brownie points with God. HIs love is there just because he loves us.

Don't give up!! Please read the bible fresh. Especially the book of John is a good one to start out with. What a difference it made when I finally understood the real God!!

If you ever have questions please feel free to e-mail me. [email protected]

Christian love, gold

Does it ever get easier?

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