If Morrisey Was a Jdub

by gitasatsangha 45 Replies latest social humour

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    in my ongoing series of new Kingdom Melodies:

    Song 312: Jah Knows I'm Miserable Now


    I was happy in the haze of my Bethel days

    but Jehovah knows I'm miserable now

    I was looking for a job, and then I found a job

    and Jehovah knows I'm miserable now

    In my life

    why do I count valuable time

    on people who don't care if I live or die

    Two pioneers pass me by

    and Jehovah knows I'm miserable now

    I was looking for a job, and then I found a job

    and Jehovah knows I'm miserable now

    In my life

    why do I count valuable time

    on people who don't care if I live or die

    What they asked of me at the end of the day

    An worldy man would have flushed

    "You've been away from the Hall" they said

    and I naturally fled

    In my life

    why do I smile

    at Witnesses I'd much rather kick in the eye

    I was happy in the haze of my Bethel days

    but Jehovah knows I'm miserable now

    "You've been away from the Hall" he said

    and I naturally fled

    In my life

    why do I count valuable time

    on people who don't care if I live or die


  • Huxley
    Huxley

    Ha haahhaaa haaa!!!!!!!!!!

    You made my day with that..lol!

    Poor celibate Moz!

    Huxley

  • Satans little helper
    Satans little helper

    fantastic, Morissey's music always made me want to slash my wrists, almost as much as listening to those bland kingdom melodies

  • nilfun
    nilfun

    LoL! Excellent, Gitasatsangha

  • darkuncle29
    darkuncle29

    Ha Ha Ha! That was good.

    Can you do these:

    GB In a Coma

    How Soon Is Armegedon

    Jehovah Isn't Funny Anymore

    Apostate Strikes Again

    C.O. Take a Bow

    Russel Started Something He couldn't Finish

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    A few more:

    • Street(work) is Murder
    • An Elder in a Tutu
    • The More you Ignore me, the Closer I Get (unchanged name, but appropriate for Not Homes)
  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    There is New Light That Never Goes Out

    Take me out in service

    Where there's doors and there's people who are young and at home

    Driving in your car

    I never never want to take a door

    Because its someone I probably know.

    Take me out in service

    Because I want to count hours and I want to count time

    Driving in your car

    Oh please don't make me take a door

    Because it's not my door it's your door

    And it's someone I know.

    And if a double decker bus

    Crashes into us

    To die by your side

    Is an instant trip to paradise

    and if a ten ton truck

    Kills the both of us

    To die by your side

    the theorcratic privilege is mine

    Take me out in service

    Oh take me anywhere I don't care I don't care I don't care

    Driving in your car

    I never never want to take a door

    Because its someone I probably know.

    And if a double decker bus

    Crashes into us

    To die by your side

    Is an instant trip to paradise

    and if a ten ton truck

    Kills the both of us

    To die by your side

    the theorcratic privilege is mine

    oh there is new light that never goes out

    there is more new light that never goes out (repeat.. strings flourish)

  • ApagaLaLuz
    ApagaLaLuz

    Aha! Yes! This has to be one of the funniest things I've read lately. Funny thing I remember as a dub was how obssesd so many of the JWs were with Morrisey and The Cure. It was odd, it seemed like a trend. All the young adults in my area were big in to them.

    p.s. I love the

    "If a 10 ton truck killed the both of us, to die by your side is the Theocratic Priviledge of mine"

    brilliant

  • Valis
    Valis

    Hang the bloody Gbs! Hang Gbs! Hang Gbs! Hang Gbs!

    Sincerely,

    District Overbeer

  • Euphemism
    Euphemism

    Couldn't he just sing "Come, Armageddon, Come"?

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