For those ever put on "restrictions" , how long where you on them?

by LyinEyes 20 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  LyinEyes

  Ok,,,,, I admit it..... I was not the perfect elder's daughter, at the age of 17 1/2.......hehe.....Umm, maybe it had something to do with my engagement to my hubby, so you get the idea .

  There was nooooooo way I would have went to the elders while still living in my father's home..... he would have beat me unmercifully, not to mention the emotional abuse of having failed him, the reproach and embarrassement I caused etc. I was ready to just die at Armeggedon , than to confess my sins to the elders.

  After we got married,,,,,,,,we did go to the elders to clear our conscience,,,,,,,,,after we had been married for several months , almost a year.

  We were dealt with understanding and compassion in the congregation I grew up in,,,,,,,,,,they knew all the circumstances and things about my mother and my dad........(mom's suicide, elder daddy's adultry with the sister, his d/f, etc, my home life all of it)and our young age.

  The elders didn't make us go into graphic details, no questions on all of that. We were told we were repentant and we would be on restrictions just for a short time.

  A month later we moved to the congregation my hubby grew up in and it was totally different. All 3 of the elders were straight and narrow pioneers, who probably never "sinned" in their lives.

  We were on total restrictions for 9 months.............all the while putting in pioneer hours,,,,,doing all we could to "prove' ourselves. There was no easing up on the restricions......none of them were given back....no commenting , no holding the mics, nothing.

  Later on we were told by a circuit overseer that , that was excessive. But the embarrassement was still there,,,,,,,,talk about feeling punished , we sure did. I still am angry over that .

  The one elder who was the one who kept us on the restrictions so long, he was the ring leader and the others followed what he said,,,,,,,,,was stripped of his elder title several years later for being too harsh, and unreasonable. I was happy to hear that,,,,,,,,,,,,justice was served........hehe.

  So,,,,,,,,,how long were you on restrictions? Where they ever given back little by little? You don't have to say what it was for if ya don't want to........but I am interested in who was on them the longest? Especially if after you were reproved and were doing everything to prove yourself worthy , but to no avail.
• 

  shotgun

  I got put on restrictions for 3 months for getting plastered in a public place and inviting a sister to get my car keys for me...the keys were in my pocket and she didn't go for it....

  The restrictions were no commenting or prayers...I'll never get over it...and I'll never get those missed comments back either...*snif*
• 

  LyinEyes

  Yeah, I miss my missed comments too.........lol. But then,,,,,,,,, every meeting was an embarrassment,,,,,,because when you have two people out in service everyday for hours and book studied and outlined..........but NO COMMENTS.............everyone knows.......and it happened so long ago, you would have thought they could have looked at the circumstances and shown a little "mercy".

  After 9 months of this I was so depressed, felt even worse about myself, and was literally drained . Everyday I was hoping they would tell us , the restrictions had been removed,,,,,I gave up in away by the time we got them back.

  Talk about emotional abuse in the congregation of the" loving " JW CULT.........that is the main one they use.
• 

  gitasatsangha

  I was on some kind of restrictions for having other religious books in my house, etcetera.. interfaith in think the charge was. They felt I was repentant. I was on restrictions from then on till I just stopped going. I never bothered to see if they'd been lifted, so I can't even give a time frame on how long I was under restrictions, but several years sounds about right.

  I never did see that thing in the bible that talked about restrictions. Guess I didn't know my bible.
• 

  LyinEyes

  EXACTLY...........Git...........did Jesus EVER put anyone on restrictions??????? I didnt read that in my Bible either,,,,,,,,not even the JW bible.

  Jesus said,,,,,,,,," Go,,,,, Sin no More"..................to me those words are right on. He could read the heart of course,,,,,,,,,,but the elders could do alot better reading hearts if they really wanted too, I know some do, there are some that if it were not them helping a "sinner" they would be d/f , or on restrictions forever.

  Restrictions in my mind were always another man made, GB, emotional blackmail tool.

  Things like that,,, that had no Biblical backing , stuck in my mind and when all the other things I learned about my "precious religion" just added up and lead me to where I am today.......FREE!
• 

  Sassy

  I messed up and had sex with my ex once after we had been divorced for two yrs and feeling guilty reported myself.. Here is the weird thing, they told me it was a private reproof and mentioned NOTHING about restrictions. I was even in the bookstudy with one of the elders on my committee. I was answering both at the WT study and bk study.... not a lot.. but some.

  Then I moved. I continued to answer at meetings and suddenly I was taken aside by an elder who told me I was on restrictions and why had I been answering. He even called the elder on my committee (who had heard me give answers in that hall) and he confirmed I should not have been answering.. This happened 6 months AFTER my commitee meetings..

  at first I was in trouble because they thought I was trying to get away with something.. finally after shedding a bucket of tears the elder in my new hall believed me, but said I couldn't answer any more. It was humiliating. I couldn't answer for 4 months after that..

  another time I was on restrictions where public reproof was given, I think I couldn't answer (give talks, etc etc) for 6 months
• 

  cyber-sista

  I was never put on "restriction" but for sure would be now if they knew I was posting on this board!! (I am still presently catagorized as inactive.)

  In the congregation I most previously attended many were on restrictions to one degree or another it got difficult keeping up with it all. Brother A had been "reproved" and was "on restriction" and then his wife was told because he was "on restriction" he was considered "bad association". This bothered me because I was associating with brother A and his wife and from what I understood after all my years being a JW that "reproof" wasn't the same as being marked as "bad association". I asked the elder (mistake) and he told me that brother A was "on reproof" and was making his way back, thus still considered "bad association." The elders had recently told brother A that they didn't feel that it was time for him to be "off reproof" yet. They had told brother A that while he was attending the meetings the elders had noticed him dozing off at times so they didn't feel he was taking things seriously enough (brother A works really hard during the day and is tired a lot) I told elder that I thought that being "on reproof" was something that was no longer done and he seemed confused. The CO came and I told sister A she and brother A should ask CO. CO talked with brother A and sister A in front of elder and elder acted like he couldn't recall telling anyone that brother A was "bad association" (even though he had told sister and myself when I asked him about it,) OK, after CO left brother A got his answering "privleges" back, but didn't feel too inspired to answer after that.

  Meanwhile, back at the old KH sister and brother B got reinstated--they had both been Dfd for who knows what, but it was annouced at the same time that they were still on full "restiction" whatever that means. One sister explained it to me that being on "full restriction" meant that you couldn't do anything except go out in service, but if you found someone that wanted a bible study it would be turned over to someone else, because being on "full restriction" you were not allowed to conduct a bible study, but the sister that told me about this seemed a little confused too.

  Another bro was marked as "disassociated" or some thought---whatever that means. Some said he was "bad association" because had been "marked as disassociated" (I had never heard of this catagory either).

  Anyway, to make a very long story short ... I don't see any rhyme nor reason to any of it. (some would probably sayit is because since I stopped going to meetings I can no longer comprehend these "deeper things") it appears to me that it is all up to the whim of the elders whether you are on "restrictions" for one month or several. I could see no specific rules in regards to any of it. I think it is something the elders make a "matter of prayer" in their little back room meetings. This is how they determine most things I found out (another story). They claim that the "holy spirit" gives them the answers- -even to judge people's hearts...
• 

  City Fan

  I remember at my private reproof judicial commitee thingy, at which over 40 persons were present (how private is that?), the elders put all the restrictions on me except I could still go on the field service!! So I could no longer answer at meetings, give talks, expertly handle the microphones, run the sound equipment, do car park duty etc etc, but they would still let me go selling those crappy magazines and books at every opportunity possible.

  My restrictions lasted for exactly 1 meeting, and then I never went again.
• 

  Sassy

  I actually was told I had to go in service.. (I had been inactive)

  and even though my reproof was because of sexual activity, was told that restrictions would not be lifted until I got regular in field service
• 

  Mac

  I was subject to "constrictions" once!

  mac