The Qualifications For Being An Elder

by minimus 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  minimus

  Describe what you think being a "good elder" entails.
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  Phantom Stranger

  Your topic does not match your post, min. Of course what it takes to be a good elder has nothing to do with the qualifications.

  Some elders suck, some don't - just like people everywhere. Positions of authority tend to attract jerks with issues - just like the real world. Bagging on elders as a class is silly.
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  minimus

  Why is it silly?
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  Phantom Stranger

  Well, it's frivolous and harmless - both are contained in the meaning of silly.
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  minimus

  thanx Phantom for helping me understand the true nature of my thread.
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  stillajwexelder

  An imitatator of Jesus Christ -- empathetic, loving, good evangelizer, good teacher and good SHEPHERD -- mild yoke, mild tempered, not a control freak, not interested in lording it over others -- having a real concern for others -- that minimus is a good elder (notice Gods organization loyalty is not even mentioned)
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  Phantom Stranger

  Who peed in your corn flakes?
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  minimus

  Who peed??? A couple of dumb elders.
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  ThiChi

  Qualifications:

  1. The ability to invite other Elders to your house for Dinner

  2. Always agree with the Presiding Overseer when asked for your opnion on a Matter.

  3. The ability to invite the Circuit Overseer for Dinner when he is in town.

  4. The ability to buy the CO a new Suit when he is in town.

  5. Make it out in Service every Saturday for the next six months.
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  Mary

  This is really a two part question:

  Qualifications for Being An Elder are:

  1. Be an ass kisser when you're an MS; that's numero uno on the list
  2. Make sure your wife is also a big ass kisser to the elders' wives and invite them over every chance you get
  3. Be at every single meeting, even if you've got the Plague. Jehovah will forgive you for spreading germs cause it's all for the greater glory of the congregation.
  4. Ask the other elders' opinion on everything from what song to open the meeting with to the colour of your underwear;
  5. Make sure you get more than the required 10 hours of Service in each month; in fact, force your wife to pioneer for 2 or 3 months in a row.
  6. Shun an inactive family member. This will show that you put the Borg above your family---a definitive moment in the religion.
  7. Never ever go above the elders' heads and tell the CO what's really going on with the elder body. There's no surer way for you to get knocked to the bottom of the spiritual food chain and remain there for all eternity.
  8. Find out who the other elders consider "weak ones" and bad mouth these people at every meeting the elders & MS's have.
  9. Always show up when it's your Book study's turn to clean the Hall. Believe me, they're watching you.
  10. Donate a hefty part of your salary to the Kingdumb Hall every month.

  Now the qualifications for being a GOOD elder are:

  1. Do the complete opposite of everything I mentioned above.