I told my mother to stop contacting me (page 2)

kyria

>And you have made some new "outside" friends that are helping you move on.

Thank you. My friends are some pretty amazing people! It's funny that my mother chose to harp on that. She always put the words friends in quotation marks! How funny is that? Like, "Where are you "friends" tonight?" Heh. .

>Don't let the past haunt you.

Thank you. Now that I am past the initial shocks, this is my newest goal. And little witch... thank you for your encouraging words also. I did want to make it clear to my mother that I love her and I don't want to hurt her. Especially that mother-daughter relationship, which of course was so very special when I was a little girl and is so hard to walk away from. I guess I really don't feel like this is permanent. Either that or I'm completely in emotional denial right now :)

kyria

>In fact, my situation is a repeat of the abuse this cult is consistently known for. Yes, it's funny how people really don't realize this. It's been very hard for me to try and discern how much of her behavior is from the JW's, and how much is because she's just a little bit unhinged. When I was a teenager, I just thought my parents were "awful". Now I realize how much the religion added to the crazy.

little witch

Gespro,

many here have had these experiences, do not feel alone! ((((hugs)))

No, our parents are usually not doing these awful things of their own accord.

They are really just "little pod people" who look like your parents, but have been drastically altered by watchtower inc. Remember all that talk about "unity"?

In other words, do what we say, exactly how we say, and when we say.

There is no room for personal freedom to choose your own path. As a witness your every decision has been planned and mapped in advance. It you are unsure then you are instructed to "ask the help of an elder" who will certainly bring you back into a "correct way of thinking".

Especially vulnerable are single parents with empty nests. Their compasses are spinning so to speak, and they need to fill their time with directives from the tower.

It can be very difficult when kids grow up and leave home. A less sure person is easily influenced by the watchtower to "bring them back at all cost".

Watchtower Inc cannot do that directly, so they influence parents on cruel techniques designed to regain control.

Sick isnt it?

Elsewhere

((((( Kyria )))))

Last year about this same time I had to finally cut off my parents too. They were more of the passive-aggressive type though. They would allow me (the evil apostate atheist) to contact and visit them... but only on their terms. They would make sure they studied the WT in front of me and would show old family videos trying to guilt me. I HATE guilt trips. My parents used them on me all my life. I'm to the point where when someone trys to use guilt on me it only causes me to get pissed at them. They would also say: ?Oh we can?t have you over because the friends will be visiting.?

The last straw was my dad kicking me out of my sister's wedding. And no? I did not make trouble. The elders instructed him to have me removed. Yes? I saw them whisper in his ear just before he walked over to me and had me removed. The very same elder had just talked to me? all smiles and friendly.

I later called them and explained in detail why I did not believe the WTS... but that just went right over their brainwashed heads. It was like pointing at the sun and them saying: "What light?"

A few months after that my dad called. I was not about to answer the phone so I let my voicemail get it. He left a crappy little message saying that he wanted to make sure my "sustenance and covering" were taken care of. Sure, he will shun me, tell me I'm an evil apostate and kick me out of my sisters wedding so he doesn't have to "eat with a wicked person"... but he's damned concerned about my "sustenance and covering"???

Thank you, no more for me.

avishai

Good for you, kyria, it takes some people a lot longer to refuse abuse by conditionally loving parents.

Dogpatch

Hi Kyria,

In the case of very manipulative parents like this, the ander is so built up over time that we have to tell them off, and maybe even cut them off to keep from being further harassed and punished. Now that you have become stronger, stick to your guns. The confidence you will gain will give you ideas on how to deal with her when/if she comes around again. Therre are some good articles by Gary Busselman that you might want to read:

http://www.freeminds.org/buss/buss.htm

peace,

Randy Watters

Net Soup!

http://www.freeminds.org

Steve Lowry

Doing what's right by you, is nothing to feel guilty about. It's the healthiest choice.

shotgun

(((((kyria)))))

Being the mature one in a parent daughter relationship sure is a tough thing to do...but you did it!

JamesThomas

Kyria, A sense of healthy well-being and peace is manifest through truth; being true to our heart and being. If we are still we can sense when there is disharmony relative to others. This is not a bad thing, it is just the way it is, and in order to be true and regain harmony it may be necessary to make space between ourselves and certain other people. There is nothing wrong in this. It is as it is. Be gentle with yourself dear Kyria, and aware of what is going on. The mind can kick into high gear with stories of guilt and confusion; especially concerning you and your mother as there is a powerful mother/daughter dynamics going on, a powerful energy of which only super nova's can compare. See and be aware of these stories as they arise and they will have little power to pull you under and drown you. You are doing the healthy and loving thing. Sometimes love means to end communication for an indefinite period. In the end you are doing what is best for your mother as well. Perhaps this will motivate her to listen to her actual heart rather than her religions ideas and beliefs. But, no matter what direction she takes; you are doing well and remaining true to you. That's the best we can do, and this will touch others in a positive way or not at all. j

cyber-sista

Kyria,

I am sorry you had to be pushed to the point of separating from you mother, but I understand how it gets to that point sometimes. I remember reading a book years ago called "toxic parents." Sad, but true, it is just that way sometimes. I appreciate your strength to head your life in a healthy directions. Many of us here are trying to find our way through it all, and some have had to leave others behind, many times not by choice, but in order to survive and be healthy. I will look for your postings.

thanks for sharing

it helps us all...cybs

I told my mother to stop contacting me

Share this