Funeral for Non-JW Spouse...Family upset

by DevonMcBride 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  DevonMcBride

  An older lady (referred to as Sister X) who does outside sales for us is a JW Pioneer. Last week her non-JW husband of almost 50 years passed away. Sister X has been a baptised JW for over 30 years but no one else in her family accepted these beliefs including her husband. He was very active in his church and was even a Deacon. Against his family's wishes, Sister X had the service at the funeral home rather than at his church because of Watchtower policy of stepping inside of another church. Many of the relatives including her own children are very upset by this and some aren't even speaking to her. One of my friends went to the service and the turmoil was so thick she said the relatives, who she never met before, were ranting throughout the service. I personally think it was disrespectful of her not to have a service in his church since he was an active member.

  There certainly is a lesson to be learned of this. It's a good idea to put your burial wishes in writing or in a will, especially if you are married to a JW.

  Devon
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  amac

  That's funny because I thought it was disrespectful that they would rant through the service because she picked a religously neutral location for the burial. She was married to him for a damn long time to not have the right to pick the funeral home.
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  WildHorses

  She was married to him for a damn long time to not have the right to pick the funeral home.

  I wonder if the JW's would say the same thing if it were the jw wife who died and the husband did the same thing?
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  Tashawaa

  It could have been worse - she could have had it at the Kingdom Hall!

  Seriously, he should have laid out his funeral plans, otherwise its up to her. She picked (as was said before) a "religiously neutral place". I wouldn't have had a problem with it.
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  DevonMcBride

  Seriously, he should have laid out his funeral plans, otherwise its up to her. She picked (as was said before) a "religiously neutral place". I wouldn't have had a problem with it.

  She picked the funeral home because it was owned by his cousins and it was free.

  Devon
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  aunthill

  I knew my mother would come back to haunt me if I had a Jdub funeral for her. Fortunately she was also active and well known in her church, so I had her minister give the service at the funeral home, not the church. Boy am I glad now that I did it that way. Besides, no one in my KH gave a damn that my mother had died. I don't remember getting any condolences at all from the "friends"! Ha!
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  TresHappy

  When grandma died last year, she had lived with her JW daughter and son-in-law for several years. So she got a JW funeral, although she wasn't a JW. It was held at the funeral home. Some of us wanted to speak about our grandmother, however father elder said no. I have since learned it goes against "JW policy" to have a lot of people giving stories. They just want the straight, dry talk my father gave. It was horrible. All he did was talk about the condition of the dead, not about my wonderful grandmother. Everyone soon tuned him out and began looking at their watches, twitching in their seats, looking at the back of the chapel. I was in such grief that I was too consumed to think about what I could say. You had one side of the family who believe she's in heaven and the other half who believe she's in God's memory. I hate the JW bs I once believed...
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  Undecided

  I don't ever remember a funeral at a Kingdom Hall in my area. They are always held in the funeral home.

  Ken P.
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  blondie

  This is a perfect example of why people should have their funeral wishes in a will and make sure someone will carry them out as requested. Irrev and I have done that so that my JW family does not butt in if we should both be killed at the same time. I know a sister who had 2 funerals conducted, one at her husband's church per his wishes and one at the KH because of her conscience.

  Blondie
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  Tuesday

  When my Grandmother passed away the funeral was held in a church, actually the largest church in Providence. They had a mass and everything, my mother was one of 5 siblings and the other 4 wanted this as did my grandmother who was a devout catholic and active in that church for years. My mother went to the funeral too, she didn't participate in the mass as I didn't either (I don't believe in the pomp and circumstance not to mention I have no idea how to do all those responses to everything). I do think it's sad though, JW funerals that is, because when my mother passes I want people to give stories about her. I think it's important to remember the life, not the hope for it again. I know she's going to want a JW funeral and I don't think that it's too much to ask, it's her life and her funeral. I guess I'd have to side with the family on this one because if it were his wishes then I think they should be followed.