Okay, my turn!
So, you met this hottie online, and got her email address. You're thinking, "Wow! Let's see if I can establish some rapport with her, and see if we have anything in common!" So you send her the following email:
Hey, what's up? What did you do this weekend? I went out drinking with my friend this weekend at club Sloppyhoes. I really enjoy dancing. Do you like to dance? Electrofuko is my favorite band, I have all of their CDs. What kind of music do you like? Anyway, I have to go candle shopping, hope to hear a reply from you!
The next day, you get an email back:
Hi There! It's so nice to hear from you! I spent some time on my uncle's farm horseback riding this weekend. The weather was so nice and happy, and my cousin Zittfran fell in a big pile of cow shit! It took him hours to get all clean.
Yes, I do like to dance, but club Sloppyhoes isn't really my taste. I usually go to Dykeland Bar & Grill. It's a much more relaxed setting, and the people there are really friendly. And I love Electrofuko! I have posters of Pennis Drippo on my wall.
Anyway, I should go and get my laundry done. Hope to hear back from you soon! Take care.
Now, as time passes, the emails keep going back and forth, getting longer, and the two of you start learning more and more about each other. You eventually become comfortable chatting with her over the internet, and look foreward to each and every email from her. If a day goes by without a response from her, you miss it, and think about what she might be doing.
After an incredible amount of time passes, You finally ask her to meet. One of two things can happen:
1) She tells you she can't make it, and doesn't counter-offer.
or
2) She agrees to meet you somewhere. When you finally meet her, conversation is of low quality, there are lots of silent points, and your attempts at flirting seem to have made her uncomfortable.
What happened?
In result #1, you waited too long, and she's most likely seeing someone else.
In result #2, you have conditioned her to become used to conversing with you through the internet. She's uncomfortable by your presence, and you have to start from scratch creating rapport with her. The sad thing is she knows a lot about you, there isn't any mystery left, and the conversation becomes flat and boring. What you tell her is pretty much predictable since she knows so much about you. You have become her email buddy. She prefers reading what you type, rather than seeing you and hearing what you say.
The same problem exists with the phone. You meet a new girl, or a friend hooks you up, and you spend 3 hours talking to her on your first, second, third, fourth phone call. You two talk about everything. She asks you questions, and you give her honest responses. The two of you begin to learn a lot about each other. Finally, you ask her to meet you somewhere.
1) She tells you she can't make it, and doesn't counter-offer.
or
2) She agrees to meet you somewhere. When you finally meet her, conversation is of low quality, there are lots of silent points, and your attempts at flirting seem to have made her uncomfortable.
Sound familiar? How can you get the same results from spending too much time talking to her on the internet, and on the phone? She's hearing your voice on the phone!
As humans, we tend to get comfortable with things that we are familiar with. Picture your living room. Think of how it is arranged, and the pieces of furniture in it. Now, you buy a new piece of furniture, and put it in your living room. Sometimes when you enter your living room, the new item seems to catch you by surprise or you end up bumping into it accidently. This is the same living room, with the same pieces of furniture in it, except for one new item that you don't seem to be quite used to yet.
This is exactly what has happened when you met this girl. She's used to the way your voice sounds, or how you talk about your uncle Zaxxmom, but when you finally meet up with her, your presence throws her off. You've added a new element to her complete idea of you. She's not used to it.
Now, go back to your living room. Take all the furniture, all the pictures on the wall, the light fixture, basically everything in it, and throw it all in the trash. Paint your living room a different color, get new carpeting, and buy a completely new living room set. Now look at the new living room. How do you feel? Feels great to have a completely new living room, doesn't it? You were impressed with the carpet and the furniture when you saw it at the store, but it looks so much better complete, and you adjust to it very quickly. It's much different than just adding one extra piece of furniture.
Now, liken this to meeting a woman. Shopping for furniture is like her meeting you for the first time. Buying the furniture is much like setting up a date. Getting the living room completely set up is like dating someone new. You get to explore all the angles of the person, their looks, their clothes, their speech, their actions, their smell, and what they say. It all comes at once, and everything relates to each other. Much more nicer to enjoy it in person, rather than just seeing a picture or reading about them.
When you and a new woman go on a date as quickly as possible, it eliminates the awkwardness of her being familiar with only certain attributes that you posess. If you spend more time with her in person, she will prefer spending time with you rather than chatting through some other means of communication. The first date will have a greater chance of being successful if you refrain from having an email or phone relationship.
Also, when you keep email or phone contact to a minimum, she becomes accustomed to being with you. She won't like email or phone conversation, because your full presence just isn't there. She'll look foreward to seeing you more than getting a call or an email from you.