My wife is known to send back a wine if she doesn't think it's "oaky" enough. She said this morning that if she ever partook, she would probably send the wine back for a better one.
My Wife Wants To Go To The Memorial!
by minimus 47 Replies latest jw friends
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avishai
Go, but with the stipulation that you get to have a can of easy cheese sticking out of your pocket. I agree, go ahead, It takes some longer than others. Be supportive of your wife.
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Carmel
Just go min, and help her stay confused! Dang, life seems so simple until the hangover kicks in!
carm
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simplesally
Min,
I think its wonderful for you to be supportive. She most definately has come a long way and this one day is a day that has been embedded in our minds for a long time. To skip this date the first time hurts. I was df'd and went.......and still I won't go but it will be my 2nd one out and I still feel the pull.......
Just go to a different hall and claim the time was better for you or wherever the location was ........ like it was closer to our dinner reservations, or we missed the friends here.
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Nosferatu
From what I've read on this board, it seems that the Memorial is the difficult JW even to let go. In your mind, it's always been made a special, sacred event. The thing is, if you've abandoned all the JW teachings, why haven't you let go of the 144000 teaching?
When you go, you'll probably realize how incredibly stupid it is, and maybe your wife will as well.
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Odrade
Aw, min, I feel for you. I think this is a hard season for faders. If one goes to memorial then others who "care" can still delude themselves that you are a believer and might someday "come back." If you don't show up and the JWs know you are not in ill-health or otherwise incapacitated, it's almost like drawing a line in the sand.
My husband and I talked about this awhile back, and the religious issues surrounding observing the memorial aren't particularly important to us anymore. We talked about going just for the sake of our families, (not drawing that sand line.) We finally decided we just could not, because even if we DID still believe in this particular tenent of JWism, we could not stomach the idea of going and sitting through a ceremony where we were being represented to God through these men who manipulate, harrass and deceive in order to keep the organization the way they want it. Those aren't the kind of men I would have represent me under any circumstances, much less a ceremony that I think is distorted from the original intent anyways.
How does your wife feel about letting these men lead her in prayer, not once, but four times that evening? How does she feel about having the bread and wine be passed by her and not partaking as is her right to do as a subject of Christ (--if that is what she believes--). How will she feel when someone walks up to her and offers her a "bible study" in order to "rebuild her faith" in a lying, selfish, book-promoting conglomerate?
There must be a few of you locals who can get together and observe the Lord's Evening Meal the way it was meant to be observed... If I lived anywhere near you, I'd do it--at least out of respect for a great man. (By that I mean Jesus, not you Min--HA!)
All that being said, if it's important to your wife to celebrate with a group, in spite of said group being the JWs... good for you for being supportive. I think your request to go to a hall where you are not known is reasonable also, and probably enough for her to be able to deflect inquiries from any of her friends who may ask if she is attending.
O
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Phantom Stranger
min, as you requested, I've re-read my post. There are times when I purposely challenge you, and I suspect that you were expecting that from me on this one. False alarm.
All I intended to do (and on re-reading, all I see in my post) is supporting you in what you say you want, and supporting you in seeing your wife as capable of doing what she needs done. Isn't that how we want to see all the people we love - as being capable of doing what they want and need to do?
It's possible that you'll decide that you do want to go to the memorial...just for personal family reasons, not for religious reasons. Because, as adults, we never do anything we don't want to - we may want it more than the consequences of not doing it - but we still want to do it, or we wouldn't. I find that being clear about why I'm really doing things is a great stress reducer/remover - and that's where my recommendations come from.
Regards, best wishes
PS
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Rabbit
Mimimus,
I think you should go with your 'gut' on this one. If you throw it in her face when she's come so far...what's the benefit? I haven't been in 4 years and don't miss it. I think she might be bothered, because it is one thing Jesus said we should keep doing. Going will not harm you or her.
Recently, I attended a family Christmas party with my new wife, why ? I don't believe in it and never will. I went with her -- for her. It was important to her, so it was important to me. Some of her relatives, knowing I had been a Witness were very surprised and told me they were glad I came even tho' I did not celebrate it. They asked -- why? I said, "I love my wife..."
Avashi:
Go, but with the stipulation that you get to have a can of easy cheese sticking out of your pocket. I agree, go ahead, It takes some longer than others. Be supportive of your wife.
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Surreptitious
When your wife looks at you in such a way that shows she feels a certain way but would HOPE that you might accompany her to something you don't believe in, then sometimes, you do something for the benefit of your family, to please, yes---even to compromise....
I understand 1 gazillion percent.
Syrup
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minimus
Thank you for all your comments. I appreciate everyone's imput here.