I woke up crying again just a little while ago,,,,,,,,again it was a dream .
I just can't go into details of all the horror, but will touch on certain parts of the dream that I feel the most able to talk about .It was about my sister, mother, father, (his wife named Satan,) and me.
Basically , I can say there was child abuse of my sister .......at one point of the dream. To the point , I thought she would be killed. I felt I was being held down and I couldnt help her. Growing up.........I always hated to see my younger sister get a whipping, beating really is what we got. So I always took the first go round with Dad........thinking he would hit me harder and maybe he would go easier on her. I was just protective over her that way.
In this part of the dream,,,,,,,,( there was alot more too it) I broke free from whatever, although it wasnt a person holding me back, but felt that way. And I ran,,,,,,,to her,,,,,flying thru thorns and I jumped the person who was hurting my sister so bad.
The dream........was so real in the fact that the crying, begging and pleading,,,,,of asking it to be stopped , the beating........was just like it really happened. I had to watch her cry,,,,,,as in real life,but her last cry was soooooooo disturbing. I hate to say too much for fear of upsetting someone reading this you know. But it was a plead for help as if she couldnt take anymore . The other thing about this dream was it was my voice ,,,,,,,,not my sister's I heard.......it was my words,,,,,,,hearing it, also watching. ( maybe this was a way of disassociating myself from my body at the time? )
I have heard that , that happens, a child can see things happening to them,,,,but take themselves away from the pain , the abuse.........but I havent read enough on this.
Well, I did stop the torture of my sister,,,,,,,,,she was even tied down to a chair in my dream.
The unusual thing,,,,,,,,,,,the thing that bothers me was this person wasnt my dad..........it was my Mother.......at another point it was the woman my dad is married to now........she never was in our home or raised me,,,,,,,,,but my sister did live with them for a few months until she ran away.
I know that the wife of my dad never even hit my sister, she wanted to and my sister wanted to hit her but that didnt happen.
I do know that the child abuse that happened at home,,,,,,,,,was mostly my father, but my mother in her anger , usually dealing with not getting her pain pills , would also lash out of us as well.
OK...........I am wondering if you , anyone...........has info on dreams, specifically, if they could be some repressed memory,,,,,,,,even a partial true event that you do not remember.
The strange thing is ,,,,,,,,,, there are so many things in that dream that I know where real.........not the literal situation, but the feelings, my feelings, my helplessness, my sister's cries, my mother's anger. I at some points felt the pain my sister was going thru,,,,,,,so I wonder if it was me , or her , I was watching but I felt her pain, her suffering if that makes sense.
There were things my mom did,,,,,,,,that were really wrong in the very early years of my childhood,,,,,later on, she wasnt like that.
Usually I have a sense if a dream is just a dream.........and I feel this one also represents some , feelings that I WISHED i could have acted on as a little girl but couldnt . But in MY dream I was able to take control. I took action ,,,,,,,,,,as a little girl I never did, out of fear.
In the dream,,,,,,,,it is my dad driving us away,,,,,,,,,to a safe place, and along with us are two little puppies,,,,,,,who have been abandoned and abused . My sister and I , in the dream,,,,,,,,take care of the little puppies. There were two of them, one for each of us , I guess.
I just had to write this while it was fresh on my mind........and I couldnt get back to sleep.
As Big Tex knows,,,,,,,,, I am slowly remembering things in my waking hours that happened so long ago. So I know those are memories.
But I wonder what a dream that hits so close to reality in some aspects and you just can't shake the feeling that it was something all too real,,,,,,,,,is it possible those are really memories??? These are the kind of dreams that leave you crying, hurting, and sick to your stomach.....literally, you wake up to physical feelings , not just emotional ones.
I am just asking what you think, your personal opinon, and any info you might have on this subject.
Anyone eles who wants to add their experience ,,,,,,,please do. Also any good books that deal with this someone has read and could suggest thanks.
BTW,,,,,,,,,, I am shaken by the dream , but I am ok. I know I have along road of healing and getting over the abuse ,,,,,,,it is a little at a time I know , as I am ready to handle it.
Thanks for listening. Love ya, Dede