Dreams again,(WARNING TRIGGERS)calling LadyLee & Big T

by LyinEyes 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    I woke up crying again just a little while ago,,,,,,,,again it was a dream .

    I just can't go into details of all the horror, but will touch on certain parts of the dream that I feel the most able to talk about .It was about my sister, mother, father, (his wife named Satan,) and me.

    Basically , I can say there was child abuse of my sister .......at one point of the dream. To the point , I thought she would be killed. I felt I was being held down and I couldnt help her. Growing up.........I always hated to see my younger sister get a whipping, beating really is what we got. So I always took the first go round with Dad........thinking he would hit me harder and maybe he would go easier on her. I was just protective over her that way.

    In this part of the dream,,,,,,,,( there was alot more too it) I broke free from whatever, although it wasnt a person holding me back, but felt that way. And I ran,,,,,,,to her,,,,,flying thru thorns and I jumped the person who was hurting my sister so bad.

    The dream........was so real in the fact that the crying, begging and pleading,,,,,of asking it to be stopped , the beating........was just like it really happened. I had to watch her cry,,,,,,as in real life,but her last cry was soooooooo disturbing. I hate to say too much for fear of upsetting someone reading this you know. But it was a plead for help as if she couldnt take anymore . The other thing about this dream was it was my voice ,,,,,,,,not my sister's I heard.......it was my words,,,,,,,hearing it, also watching. ( maybe this was a way of disassociating myself from my body at the time? )

    I have heard that , that happens, a child can see things happening to them,,,,but take themselves away from the pain , the abuse.........but I havent read enough on this.

    Well, I did stop the torture of my sister,,,,,,,,,she was even tied down to a chair in my dream.

    The unusual thing,,,,,,,,,,,the thing that bothers me was this person wasnt my dad..........it was my Mother.......at another point it was the woman my dad is married to now........she never was in our home or raised me,,,,,,,,,but my sister did live with them for a few months until she ran away.

    I know that the wife of my dad never even hit my sister, she wanted to and my sister wanted to hit her but that didnt happen.

    I do know that the child abuse that happened at home,,,,,,,,,was mostly my father, but my mother in her anger , usually dealing with not getting her pain pills , would also lash out of us as well.

    OK...........I am wondering if you , anyone...........has info on dreams, specifically, if they could be some repressed memory,,,,,,,,even a partial true event that you do not remember.

    The strange thing is ,,,,,,,,,, there are so many things in that dream that I know where real.........not the literal situation, but the feelings, my feelings, my helplessness, my sister's cries, my mother's anger. I at some points felt the pain my sister was going thru,,,,,,,so I wonder if it was me , or her , I was watching but I felt her pain, her suffering if that makes sense.

    There were things my mom did,,,,,,,,that were really wrong in the very early years of my childhood,,,,,later on, she wasnt like that.

    Usually I have a sense if a dream is just a dream.........and I feel this one also represents some , feelings that I WISHED i could have acted on as a little girl but couldnt . But in MY dream I was able to take control. I took action ,,,,,,,,,,as a little girl I never did, out of fear.

    In the dream,,,,,,,,it is my dad driving us away,,,,,,,,,to a safe place, and along with us are two little puppies,,,,,,,who have been abandoned and abused . My sister and I , in the dream,,,,,,,,take care of the little puppies. There were two of them, one for each of us , I guess.

    I just had to write this while it was fresh on my mind........and I couldnt get back to sleep.

    As Big Tex knows,,,,,,,,, I am slowly remembering things in my waking hours that happened so long ago. So I know those are memories.

    But I wonder what a dream that hits so close to reality in some aspects and you just can't shake the feeling that it was something all too real,,,,,,,,,is it possible those are really memories??? These are the kind of dreams that leave you crying, hurting, and sick to your stomach.....literally, you wake up to physical feelings , not just emotional ones.

    I am just asking what you think, your personal opinon, and any info you might have on this subject.

    Anyone eles who wants to add their experience ,,,,,,,please do. Also any good books that deal with this someone has read and could suggest thanks.

    BTW,,,,,,,,,, I am shaken by the dream , but I am ok. I know I have along road of healing and getting over the abuse ,,,,,,,it is a little at a time I know , as I am ready to handle it.

    Thanks for listening. Love ya, Dede

  • Scully
    Scully

    ((((((((((((((( Dede ))))))))))))))))

    I'm no way qualified to interpret your dreams (nightmares?), but I want you to know that I care about you and feel for you during this time of turmoil.

    Love, Scully

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Thanks Scully,,,,,,,,,,that means alot. I guess that dreams are a strange phenomanom ( sp) too early to drag the dictionary out.......lol. and it is hard to really interpret dreams,,,,,,,,for I know they can represent different things for different peoples, circumstances etc.

    I think I have alot of reading to do on the subject , and then when these dreams happen,,,,,,, I may understand them more.

    Hugssssssss Scully

  • Xandria
    Xandria

    Dede,

    I can relate and have looked into a lot of dreams, memories, etc. At times, your mind lets you see things in dreams. Where your true feelings come into focus. You wanted to stop this and in your dream you succeed. As a child we don't have the power as much, we are at the mercy of our parents. I find it interesting that your mother and step mother, is in place of your father. Could it be in your mind's eye she too is an abuser ? By enabling this some how or not being strong enough to stop it herself ? I have had dreams where I see a shadow and they are a party to the abuses I suffered. I am angry at them for facillitating the attack or not stepping in and stopping it. After all, I was a child and they were the adults. Children should not have to protect themselves from thier caregivers.

    Through dreams, your mind is opening up that closed box. My sister, has vivid dreams too. Things she wakes up and tries to associate what is, what to. I have suggested to her before to keep a dream journal. I do that too at times. When I wake up from a dream that is so real.. I write it down or record it before I lose it. That way I can go back and look at it in a different perspective. Rather than fear, or anger, etc.

    When individuals begin dreaming of the trauma of the past, it is usually an indicator that there conscious mind is getting ready to remember it. Studies have shown that we problem solve through dreams, if that is so, then dreams can also help heal.

    Your dreams are powerful tools to help you. I know there are great resources out there too on dreams.

    X.

    http://www.dreamdoctor.com/

    http://www.rider.edu/~suler/dreams.html

    http://www.dreamsnightmares.com/

    http://www.epub.org.br/cm/n02/mente/sonhos1_i.htm

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Thanks X,,,,,,,,,you are very right on everything you said. I have from a young age had very vivid dreams, and I do put alot of stock in my dreams because they stay with me. They hit me so very strongly,,,,,,,,many times it is good things, other times it is like this.

    I do know that my mother also was abusive, but she lost her temper easily and cried most of the time when she struck out at me,,,,,,,,my father was calm , cool and collected with his punishment almost all of the time. My mother was very neglectful more than physically abusive, due to her pain pill drug abuse,,,,,,,not feeding us on time, locking us in a room with her while she passed out for hours. But I never have thought of her in the way I saw her in this dream. I am going to see where this takes me , as time goes on. Maybe it has many meanings and I can jot them down,,,,,,,, I keep a journal of my dreams too, and come up with some ideas of what it all could mean. I might not ever know, or someday more will come to light, then I can look back and put the pieces together.

    But I can see a postive side to this dream even if it was painful.......... I ACTED. That was something I couldn't do as a child...........no way,,,,ever. In the dream I was still a little girl.......interesting huh?

    Thanks for the links,,,,,,,, I will look them up...............hugs ,,,,,,,,Dede

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    My psychologist tells me that in dreams, u are actuaay everyone in the dream. So he would ask me to be the person in my dream, role play, and he then asks me what is I am doing in the dream and what is it that is going on. Often this helps, b/c i have found that i can figure out what the dream reveals about your thoughts and fears by just assuming the role of the perosn in the dream.

    odd, it must have been a night for dreams. i had a rather strange body memory happen to me. I'm about to remember something, and my mind is trying to protect me, but my body remembers.

    dede,

    I 'd see a therapist that likes dream interpation and see what is going on. It is worth the money.

  • Xandria
    Xandria
    But I can see a positive side to this dream even if it was painful.......... I ACTED. That was something I couldn't do as a child...........no way,,,,ever. In the dream I was still a little girl.......interesting huh?

    Dede,

    Yes, it is interesting that in the dream you are a little girl. Have you thought that this may be your inner child and by your mind putting dede the child in the empowerment role~ it is giving you the strength and power to effect change. Even heal that inner child that was traumatized by events she had no control over at that time. Now that inner child is connecting with the wonderful person you are, and subconsciously strengthening each other to face something together. The inner child and the adult Dede. I told my sister Tamar in a conversation we had a while ago. That dreams are like puzzles, at times you may get the whole picture and others you just get pieces. If you wright them down you get the whole picture a piece at a time.

    Sometimes, people who have a repressed memory are amazed when they surface that they see it as if they were a child. Remember when things were not eye level, jumping to see over the counter etc. Well, dreams have a funny way of bringing that perspective again.

    (( hugs))

    X.

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((DEDE))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))Wish I could cuddle you & say "it too will pass!!

  • Lady Lee
    Lady Lee

    Hi Dede

    As a professional I have never worked with dream ananysis although I know some people do.

    But from my personal experience I know dreams can be so many things. Mine were indicators of something important from my past. Many of the details were symbolic rather than facts. They pointed to things and issues rather than present them as is.

    Something I would do and encouraged others to do would be to do a relaxation exercise at night before I went to bed. (I have one on my website that I use and find works for me) During the exercise I tell myself that I won't have the horse dream (in my case). I can tell myself that I will have a pleasant dream or no dream. I can also tell my mind to send me the information from the dream that I need when I am awake. Or send parts of it that help me make sense of the dream. Or just send the true part that I can deal with - the mind knows or seems to. You can also tell your mind you want control of the dream so that you can ask questions while dreaming

    I think you are right about dreams being easily misinterpreted due to social and cultural differences - one of the reasons I personally stay away from the dream interpretation books.

    Talk to your therapist. Or at least write them down for later reference

  • shotgun
    shotgun

    Gee...Dede.....your dreams are terrible lately

    Your so full of fun and the little girl badness is clearly seen in those lyin eyes of yours...I'm not sure what to tell you...

    I read one Book called the Wellness Journey which helped me relax and sleep by using mind excercises before I went to sleep.

    ((((((((((((Dede))))))))))))))) back off WildTurkey it's just a hug ..honest..ok maybe a little grope....but I told her it was ok.

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