ahhh Dede.. sorry you are having more of these dreams.. I hope you can get a break from them!
Dreams again,(WARNING TRIGGERS)calling LadyLee & Big T
by LyinEyes 29 Replies latest jw friends
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WildTurkey
opps,,,,,,,,,forgot to log off.......
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LyinEyes
Purple it is very true,,,,,,,,that the feelings are what I am most concerned with right now,,,,,not so much the events if they are true , repressed memories, some details true,,,,,or not at all. I do know and remember enough to give me dreams like this of things remembered.
Puternut......... I am with ya bud........sometimes we have to step back , and take a break ya know....lol,,,,,,,( more on that on my thread about hitting the local bar/pool hall) Mainly I just need to get out of the house, away from reminders of the past.
Sassy,,,,,,,,,thanks for your sweet words , I know you had a rough week so here to you also girl....
Little Witch, you really know so much about how I am feeling.......things you said , I feel the same way. You are right , when we loss someone such a tragic event,,,,,,,things are never the same with us,,,,,especially if it was a very close bond as with a Mother or Father. Add some very unresolved things ,,,,and you have what we have in those dreams.
Since they are not here to go over the past, to work it out, to find out truths, to make peace with it all,,,,,,,,, I suppose we in our dreams, our subconsious minds do that for us. Most of the time , I feel I have made peace with things my mom did , because she was such a sad case, and so young. But I guess it goes to show you,,,,,,,,how important those bonds are,,,,,,,still are , even if they are not in your life anymore.
I was afraid to really bring up this subject. I didnt want to trigger memories for anyone eles, or upset anyone. I have always worried when I made a personal post,,,,,,,,should I ,,,,,,,or not? Most of the time, I just do it and I feel better when people understand , help me out, and that they too may be going thru the same things as I am.
Big Tex,,,,,,,,thank you so much for the PM,,,,,,,,, as I knew you would have alot of good thoughts on this subject as we have chatted so many times about it.
Hugs to all, and I am off to play some pool,,,,,,,,,,wish ya'll were here to go with me........love, Dede
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little witch
Baby-doll, there are no "good times" to bring them up.
I too have contemplated should I talk about it or not. It has been my experience that by talking about it I find like minds, and educate.
You wouldnt imagine how that many have similar circumstances. I came here thinking I was alone in being "Motherless" and at a young age.
If it weren't for honest exchange in our backgrounds, I would have never met You and Your Family. That would have been a great loss to me, cause I relate to you in that seemingly strange way.
Does that make sense? Yes we have rare circumstances, but we found sisterhood here.
I wouldnt have known you and your family (and vice-versa) If not for the weird happening that we are both of similar background (the jw thing is doubly strange). LOL
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LyinEyes
We are family........ I got all my sista's with me.........ok,,,,,I love Disco, and Sister Sledge.
But really, seriously.......... you are right LW,,,,,,,,we find common bonds here, we can openly share our deepest pains,,,,,,,and know that we will find someone out there that has even been thru almost the same. We find people here who have been thru worse things, and we find people who just plain,,,,,,,love and understand us and will be by our side no matter what.
The JW thing does come into play in so much of the past of my family, not just the damn religion part, but things that could have been delt with along time ago, we were told to wait on Jehovah for all of it. Rather than talking to "worldly" people, Doctors, or anyone about it. We just shut it up in Pandora's little box,,,,,,,,and hid the key.
When we got out..........I guess my little Pandora's box exploded, guess it was toooooooo damn full....lol.
But all in all,,,,,,, I will be better offf getting it all out one day at a time.
We may have lost family, friends by leaving JW,,,,,,,,,but we gained so much more . Love ya LW.
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little witch
and another thing...
Grown children who have lossed parents late in life know their parent.
Much different than we who were too young to have memories and a solid idea of what the lossed parent was like.
So my mind tends to run imagining what my mom's advice would have been, and that comes out in dreams.
It is absent, and so in my dreams I wonder what this enigmatic person who means so much to me desires.
We can't go to our deceased parent who we never knew well, and ask, what would you have done? Advise me Mother?
We don't have that option. So it understandably haunts us. And it also makes us stronger in that we must make those decisions ourselves without the benifit of experienced knowledge.
It personally makes me a litte "rough around the edges". Thats how people who know me describe me.
Yes, I am rough around the edges....I am missing the loving and nurturing phenomenon that others call Mother.....
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Sunnygal41
Dede, I sent you a PM!
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LyinEyes
So true LW,,,,,,,,,,even if others may say that ,,,,,,,some like me....., who know exactly how ya feel,,,,,see the lace amongst the leather sweetie. But you do have to go it alone on things. Some women take forgranted , some do not ,,,,,that they have a mother even as adults,,,, to be there when their first child is born, to share the grandkids, to have a mom to take your side when you need it.
You lost your Mom very young, I lost mine at 18, so I know you had that alot worse than I did. Like we talked about before one time,,,,,,,, I hope we get to meet our mothers again, and get all of the things we wanted , we needed to say, said, and finally feel complete.
Maybe our mothers,,,,,,,,,already know about us knowing each other........and all the strange circumstances that made us friends as we are........Who knows..........I hope so.
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wednesday
Dede, reread my post. I swear my doc uses this method to work with my dreams and it really works. I have picked apart some of really hard dreams.
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tazmaniac
Dreams dreams dreams, Just when I think I am well adjusted I have some freaky witness dream. My last one I showed up at the hall and everyone was waiting for me to conduct the WT study. I was like, doesnt everyone know I am DF? So I BS my way thru the WT study, then just like the standard weird dream, I look down and I am not wearing pants. LOL. I do remember one etrememly vivid dream. I was DF in the dream and armageddon comes exactly like the witnesses say. I am allowed to join the JWs heading to a safe area. I am lead to believe that I am going to make it thru. Then suddenly tremendous lightening and thunder. Out of the clouds comes a booming voice. "I am Jehovah, and will not be mocked". A lightening bolt slams me in the head. I wake up, tears in my eyes, wet with sweat and trembling. Took me days to get over that dream.