by LyinEyes 29 Replies latest jw friends
Dede..{{{{{{{{{{{{{[hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}
I felt I was being held down and I couldnt help her.
Whenever I have nightmare type dreams.....I can never speak or move. The perpetrator is always on my heels getting closer and I'm helpless. I remember many times trying to yell out 'Jehovah' when I was a dub....and I couldn't get his name out .
Gumby
Could it be in your mind's eye she too is an abuser ? By enabling this some how or not being strong enough to stop it herself ?
That is pretty much what I was going to say too. You may see your mother as an abuser because she didn't stop it....................sometimes mothers aren't even aware of it (yours was) and the child still holds anger for her not helping them.............as if they should have known.
I have very vivid dreams myself and try to figure them out. There are lots of books that explain dreams and they have helped me to understand why I have some of the same kinds of dreams over and over. Usually when I do figure it out, the dream will change or stop altogether.
So sorry you are being tormented this way.
((((Dede))))
The Fest is only 12 weeks away, with healing in it's wings
There are some thoughts here I would like to share what I found on the internet about deams and thinking, here a snipet and kink: " ...the thought of (any fixation) ... puzzles the will, and makes us rather bear those ills we have than fly off to others we know not of. Thus (thought) makes cowards of us all, and thus ... resolution is sicklied over with the pale cast of thought. And (great, momentous) enterprises ... turn awry, and lose the name of action."
Thinking is an over-rated process. It can shoot ya down.
The Centipede was happy, quite,
until a toad, in fun,
said pray, which leg goes after which?
This distracted him to such a pitch,
he lay immobile in a ditch,
considering how to run.
(inaccurate; from memory...)
Ego-motivated thinking is all rehearsal and replay, which remove us from now.
This culture has given thought so much precedence over natural feeling that we've lost a lot of what makes us human. "Serious" thought about your psychology is "analysis". That separates your thought and feeling processes. The connotation here would lead you to ignore your feeling side. You'd come to a conclusion that would continue to ignore it. Thought and effort are not therapeutic. Better to be aware of possibilities and feel for truth --at the same time.
Thought has given us a multitude of good things, as well as bad. It has taken us to an understanding of the universe. One way it did that was to classify all living things to show relationships (Linnaeus). BUT...
taken too far, it gets the way. Instead of showing reality, it can begin to impose order on reality. The Eastern way would help us be aware of reality, but not show us the insides and relationships. Obviously, we need both; and there's nothing that prevents one from doing both. In a nutshell, then:
Over-thought can impose a false order onto reality.
awareness accepts nature's order.
Perhaps you've noticed that two beers or mixed drinks will make some people feel "normal". More makes people worse again, but two sometimes seems to remove just enough over-thought and inhibition to let something like their real identity shine through. Removing more thought begins to make one simply stupid, and other well-known effects. Then up comes guilt for feeling stupid, and self-criticism: feeling stupid for thinking that they're stupid...
I certainly don't recommend to people that they stay a little high. So how can you achieve the effect without the associated dangers, troubles, and expenses? How can you remove only the unneeded inhibitions, without losing tact, sensitivity, and respect; and without making a fool of yourself? Remove the facade you've grown. For the self-conscious (that's most of us...), inhibitions grow to the extent that we don't. And what's an inhibition but a self-imposed hurdle or limit? You needn't set limits on yourself, or accept other's limitations of you. You can do as you please (tactfully) til you feel satisfied. (If you desire not to do something, that's not an inhibition.)
That's what this essay is about; getting rid of shoulds and self-definers. Go ahead; you deserve the changes you desire. Two weeks to two months of practice, then the growth that will fast follow, will have you feeling normal without beers. Permanently!
In the dream,,,,,,,,it is my dad driving us away,,,,,,,,,to a safe place, and along with us are two little puppies,,,,,,,who have been abandoned and abused . My sister and I , in the dream,,,,,,,,take care of the little puppies. There were two of them, one for each of us , I guess.
Wow! Even in my untrained conception, this section above is a classic dream of powerlessness and reclamation of such.
Terri
(((DEDE)))
I can't imagine how shaken up you must be. Dreams are a funny thing sometimes. I am no expert, but the mind is hard at work and so is the subconscience. Many things get stored away, and when the brain is at rest, it actually isn't. The chemistry in the brain is working hard to sort through things, and if something dramatic has happened, it needs to 'fix' things in order for the subconscience to have a release. And so we dream in different stages, sometimes these dreams repeat it self.
What I do find fascinating is the fact that sometimes we dream about events or places and we don't know where we were. Than later at some point in our lives these things come true. I have, and am still having a lot of dreams about future events. And lo and behold they are coming true. I used to dream of places and events that had never occured before. And these were places I have never visited, so I had no way of knowing or recalling them from real life. Then I go there years later, and I know what's around the corner, who works there, or what they sell. I was on a trip with a friend once and he didn't know where to purchase something. I told him there was a place around the corner that sold those things and the person working there is a beautiful young woman. He said; how do you know that, you've never been there before. So we go there and I even knew the cost of the item, and how much change he would get back. This is just one of the many examples I experience in life.
Well ,,,,,,,,, I went back to bed after posting this..........finally feel back asleep.
Guess what another Mama dream. This one part I will be brief about, wasnt very long ,,,,I will try to make sense of what I can on this one.
I am going down a road,,,,,,,my hub ,some people I have never seen before,,,,but remember them in detail are also on the road.
I just so happen to be passing by the cemetary where my Mother is buried,,,,, I can see it just as real as it really is today. I run to her grave, why I am running I have no idea. But my feet get caught in chicken wire,,,,,like there is some broken bridge and everyone helps me to my feet.
I am back running,,,,,,,, I stop look at her tombstone, and start crying because on it,,,,,,,it says she died at 37..........she really died at 35. I then fall to the earth sobbing,,,,,,,,,and woke myself up again,,,,,,,and my hub.
I can understand that one ok..........As I got older I started understanding my mother better,,,,,little things.....you know my mother, my self kind of thing........and I guess maybe her death date and my real age.......37 has some meaning. I am going to think of this one some more too.
Well.............. to heck with dreams today,,,,,,, I am not going to freakin' sleep!!!!!!!!!!! lol
I got up and went shopping,,,,,,,,,talked to a girlfriend of mine, and we decided to have some Captain Morgan and play pool tonite........good times.
I am going to go over this thread and write some notes down that each and everyone of you said,,,,,,,,,,thanks so much for listening to me. I can't express my gratitude that you took time to read my blabber.......hehe.....but it does mean so much to have friends that offer hugs, love , support, laughs, advice, all of it.
I love you all sooooooooooo much,,,,,,,,,I hope to see as many of you as I can in Dallas,,,,,and if I ever win the Powerball......... I am gonna have the biggest worldwide apostofest ever..........all paid for so everyone can meet everyone. I hope someday to thank you all for your friendship face to face.
Just when I see ya'll , in the flesh,,,,,,,,,and I hug you , and I dont let go toooooo soon,,,,,,,,it is my love and thankfulness for friends like all of you.
Oh and I will be bringing an extra large size Kleenex box.........,,,,,,,,,Dede
It sounds like you hit the nail on the head when you talked about feelings. IT is my understanding that in dreams you are working out feelings and can associate them with an event. According to what I have read it is the underlying feeling that you are wrestling with, not necessarily the content of the dream. So look at the feeling and ponder of why you are wrestling with it. What leads you to feel that way? Emotions are a very strong human trait and they are hard to deal with when we want to lock them away and not face them. THey have to come out somehow. Yours seem like they are coming to the surface in a strong way and you dont want to handle them but if you dont your dreams will get worse.
Oh and I will be bringing an extra large size Kleenex box.........
and I will bring the extra large bottle of booze............
Puternutty
((((Dede))))
I too suffer those dreams, so vivid and full of meaning.
I truly believe that they are undealt with fears and questions that so many of us as motherless daughters deal with.
Especially when the loved one was lossed due to tragedy.
You know, if someone looses Mom or Dad because of a long illness for example, we have time to process the outcome and ramifications. It is dealt with in the here and now in a progressive way.
However, If our loss is sudden, or unexpected, well, we deal with that in a retro-spective way. Your Mother's suicide, My Mothers car crash death, Nina's Father's suicide, to mention a few.
The reaction is delayed, and not dealt with gradually, so I suggest that the lingering emotion is addressed in dreams that are abstract and confusing.
Gawd, I have the same problem myself. Those vivid scary dreams that remain so even years after we have them.....
I have no answers I guess. I respond to your question only to say that I too have them and that we have that bond in common.
As rare as it is (sudden parental death) perhaps there is some connection and similarity.
(((Hugs)))and thanks so much for bringing up a topic that I too share.
