Starting again at 50 with no friends? (page 3)

Sunnygal41

Hey, Eye! I was 42 when I ended my marriage and my involvement with the Dubs. It was slow going for awhile, but, I did it! At least you have a wife and family still with you. That's a plus. You can do it.

Terri

Ailla

Try finding a book reading club or volunteer for something like the fire dept or become an EMT.

Deleted

Eyeslice, like many here (I turn 50 this year) it has been tough to make new friends. I really don't have any other than work-acquaintances, and some old friends from school that I keep in touch with by email. My wife and kids are Out too, and we have no family In, so that makes things easy. I am in my 6th year of freedom and I haven't had a visitor, ever. But you know what? I don't mind at all. I am at that point in my life that casual acquaintances are enough, my best friend's my wife and we have 3 dogs. So keep your chin up, it's all way better than staying In! Good luck to you, mate!

eyeslice

hi guys and gals,

Thanks for all the positive support. As I said at the start, I am not too worried about things. I am pretty gregarious and being with new people is not a problem to me. I am sort that can always strike up a conversation with strangers on a plane and, heck, I disappeared of to a 3rd world country I had never even visited before for a year.

I see some challenges but you lot have generally been there and done that before me.

Thanks again.

eyeslice

startingover

Wow does this thread hit home. Since I have a loyal JW wife who I care about, it makes it very difficult sometimes. It would be much easier to be on my own. She still has all her witness friends, most of whom are still friendly with me but that I can't be around socially. They have kind of let me slip away since I cut off social activities with them, but if I were to pursue any old friendships I believe they would then take some action against me. I have many non JW friends but not extremely close. I also have several DF'd or DA'd friends who I am much closer to but that I can't be around with my wife.

To be honest, I have found value in not having close friends. I see the non JW friends having disputes with their long time close friends and I really don't miss that. At this point, I'm not sure if I want to make the effort to have real close friends anymore. If my wife was with me things would be different but as they stand, I guess it's really not that bad.

Rabbit

Eyeslice, I just turned 50, and I guess I've been thru a lot of the same things as others. My JW wife didn't like me no mo -- left with the kids, etc., it took several years, but, I met somebody great and we were married a few months ago.

Newly weds at 50 !

That pretty well helps with the lonliness from losing all your family and friends. Now I'm making new and improved friends!

Never give up...never surrender !

Rabbit

Cheetos, Welcome to the board...

AlanB

I think we have all experienced this at whatever age. You will make many new friendships some shorter term, some for ever. Network with the friends you have now and gradually you will settle into a crowd that you feel comfortable with. (as opposed to having a bunch of people at the hall who you 'have' to be friends with)

In a few years time you will look back and see just how far you have come.

LoverOfTruth

Please be aware when making new friends that you may find yourself thinking like a JW at times. Try to stay upbeat and positive. You don't want to run people away by being judgemental and critical of everything.

I agree with others who suggested to get out and find friends. The first step is always the most difficult. Check your local paper for groups of people who meet to discuss similar interests. Perhaps you and your wife can take dance classes together.

As a footnote: I didn't realize there were so many of us in the 50 age group. I'll be there in July.

Purple

Starting again at any age is not easy (I was 38)! I not only left the truth I left my husband of 18 years, nearly 12 months ago and felt like not a sole in the world wanted to know me. Now I have heaps of friends, am never at home and having a ball. I found I had to stop being so self righteous and judgemental and just accept people as I found them and for who they are. I love people, every little quirk and whim, imperfections and all. I enjoy peoples company. If you open yourself to new possibilities you will make friends. Drop the usual JW reserve that all of us had and just be yourself.

I went to a couple of local singles clubs and recontacted older friends from former days. Apologised to those I felt I needed to and moved on. Moving on is the secret and not being stuck in the past. You have left so move on. Look forward not behind and go out and embrace the life you want. MAKE IT HAPPEN don't just stand back and expect it all to come to you, cause it won't!

Starting again at 50 with no friends?

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