JUST READ CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE (page 3)

orangefatcat

Welcome Marie.

What happy news your having a baby, wonderful.

Go with your heart Marie, thats all I can say. Everyone has aspirations for you, but the choice must be yours alone. Many have gone through this and are doing wonderful now. I am not going to kid you and say everything will be happy when you leave. You'll have so much opposition from your extended family and friends. They all mean well. But if you are sincerely seeking a way to come to grips with what you have learned, it is as I mentioned above, go with your heart. You have a new bambino on the way and yes how will you train him. It will be topsy turvey for a while, but it will all come to gether for you and hubby and baby.

You will have all the support you need in here, because we all care. Any time day or night there is always someone who will listen to you. Visit the friends in the chat room, they are a great bunch of regulars.

Wishing you all the very best and I pray you find the answers to what you seek

all my love

Orangefatcat. Terry

Swan

Welcome M arie!

nojudgement

I think I need to read Crises of Consciense. Is it in normal bookstores or do I need to go to Amazon.com???

Anyway, I am with you on leaving when the whole family is in. Sooooooooooo difficult to even think about making a stand. I've been a fader for 3 years. My family has no idea. My dad is an elder and he and my mom LOVE the truth. They are just 2 happy little old people in love and serving Jehovah. They have done it so long...they know no other way. It will destroy their world when they find out about me - who they believe to be the perfect daughter. They are so proud. I feel like such a "poser" at family gatherings. I cringe when they suggest coming out to visit my hall. I live 1.5 hours away. Anyway, I know this will all come to a head one of these days when I choose a worldly mate. I figure I will be disowned until I pop out a grandchild for them. Then they will be their tested to their limits.

marie67

I just wanted to thank everyone again for all the good advice . Just wanted to give alittle background on my situation. It is hard for me to put it in words.I type awful so it takes me forever. I was always an honoroll student but in typing I received a D !!!

Anyway I was raised to be a JW. Went through the typical rebellious teen years always feeling I was the bad one. But because I could never live a double life everyone knew what I was up too. I used to always hear from my Dad do u want to die in Arm. My reply was if your gonna be there YES!!! Anyway I ended up being DA'ed. I never was Bap. but at that time they were doing that to deal with bad JW kids. My bro. also was. Then they changed that ruling.

Anyway I straightened up cuz I always felt I was the wrong one. Did alot of studying and felt I truly had the truth. Mind you I was studying wts literature. I was reinstated. Got Bap. Became a pioneer for 13 yrs. Became a model JW. I always have felt bad because like I mentioned my bro. was DA so I didn't even attend his wedding. Doing the proper JW thing. Even though he wasn't Bap. How unfair was that??? But when they changed that. I didn't even ? it. What a dummy I was.

Met a great guy at the KH. He wasn't Bap. He eventually did and I married him. But being the dutiful JW I wouldn't date him until he was. Marry only in the Lord as they say. Went through alot of torture waiting for him to make up his mind because we loved each other alot. He has always had doubts about things. Of course,I would get into many heated arguments with him about them. THIS IS THE TRUTH!!! ARE TURNING APOSTATE????!!! I would say to him. You know they are all liars!!!!

Well, gradually he wore me down. I couldn't answer alot of the ques. he was asking me. And he was sincerely asking me them. He wants to know the truth. So then I started lurking here. I couldn't believe alot of the stuff I was reading. No wonder the WTS is always warning about the internet. They don't want us to know the truth. Then I read CofC. Mind blowing!!

I am totally bothered by Russell and Rutherford. They seem like mental cases. The way they treated their wives. Rutherford was an alcoholic.The mexico & malawi thing. I remember writing letters to Malawi begging the Gov't to ease up on them. I should have been writing to the WTS for them to ease up on them!!! Now the UN thing and their ridiculous reply on that one. If that was any of us you know what would happen!!! There is so much more I could on. But you all know the drill on it.

Anyway, at this time I'm gonna take babysteps in regards to this all. It goes against my nature because I'm a pretty straight shooter on things.I wish I could act depressed as one person recommended. But I'm not a very good actress. I'll do the best I can at this time and teach my little one what I do know as truth. My hubby is willing to take the heat on alot of things if they were to come up. I feel like a coward in this regard but I'm not ready to leave my family. I love them very much. I know though most of them would probably not ignore us but I would hate to put them in that postion at this time.

You all are very supportive and I appreciate it. But lets face it your not around in person. I need my family at this time. So for once in my life I guess I'll have to live a double life. It seems so bizarre!!! But I refuse to feel any GUILT. Because the WTS surely feels none over the lives they have wrecked!!!

Puternut

Marie,

You are braver than me. I have not read the book or any books as of this date. I have been badly scared by the WT and now don't trust to read any other material. I have been washed once and fear this will do the same for me. I can't say I will never read it, but I am just now recovering from my fall. I am just getting up. I don't want to fall again or be brain washed by other material at this time.

From what I understand it's pretty intense reading. I am delicate and fragile at this point in my life. I feel vulnerable at times, and so I have my shields up. I am very guarded regarding any material that is related to faiths, beliefs or opinions.

You are to be commended for having done so.

Puternut

marie67

hi nojudgement. We ordered it at Barnes and Noble. I have to say husband did behind my back!!! I told him to throw it away when I saw it. I didn't want the demons in my house!!! HA! Anyway he didn't. He never listens to me he's such a bad boy!! (I like 'em that way!!) I read a year later. It is VERY INTERESTING!!!!

marie67

Hi puternut, I've read some of your posts. Your last one I believe was in regards to your children I'm so sorry!!! U seem like a very sweet person and I feel for you. I understand not wanting to read things also. But I have a curiosity problem Curiousity Killed the Cat as they say. I hope it doesn't end up doing that to me!!!! =^..^=

cyberguy

Hey, welcome "marie67!"

You're not alone! A number of "us" "X" or-near "X-JW?s" have questioned the Watchtower doctrines! You?re in the right place, though! If your mate is still an active JW, you?ll need to tread softly, and gently! Don?t push the issue. You and hubby, no doubt, got into the JW-cult over time, so don?t rush you hubby?s disconnect from the corportation(s). Give it time! Just my 2-cents!

Best regards!

Cyberguy

Makena1

Marie - jsut wanted to add my welcome too!

Reading COC was the nail in the coffin for me too - finding out that there was no more Holy Spirit guiding the decision process at headquarters than what I encountered in elders meetings. Majority rule, bullying by high powered elders, CO's - then the dotrinal flip flops that I was not aware of - eventhough I was a 3rd generation dub raised in the troof since the 50's.

There is a lot of good information on how to cope, fade and finally leave.

I wish you all the best!

Hugs,

Makena and Sabine

garybuss

Marie, Welcome! What do you have for a problem with the Witnesses? Are you like us? Do you have problems believing that God uses a book publishing business that is prone to making errors in behaviors as well as doctrine? Or is it the unequal application of principle? Or the odd teachings like the pyramid measurements and the teaching that GOD is the creator, but since he only created Michael, and Michael created everything else, you and I were really created by an archangel?

Or is it the "salvation" doctrine, which is easy to understand since the living evildoers will all be made dead at Armageddon and the dead evildoers will be made alive at Armageddon, thus the living sinners will die and the dead sinners will live?

Or is it the teaching that says to survive Armageddon, the only way is to be serving God in the only Organization that has the truth, Jehovah's Witnesses. The truth is defined as the current teachings of the Governing Body which largely consist of denying their own past teachings and condemning views that are held by other groups that the Governing Body will someday adopt as their "new light" and "the truth".

Or are you like me? Do you have a problem using the voluntary donation arrangement that was adopted after the Society failed in their attempt to defend Jimmy Swaggert in the Supreme Court of California after the Superior Authorities fell out of love with him and charged him with avoiding sales tax on literature sales

Or have you seen the secret elder's book that we scanned and put on the web at http://www.hedning.no/hedning/arkiv/jv/

Maybe we should not have been shocked at seeing god's book publishing business listed as pro United Nations?

Or been upset with the news of the child abuse cover ups?

Maybe hate really is love and the arrogant elders are saints after all. Those are two more teachings:-)

Again, welcome! I look forward to more of your posts, GaryB

JUST READ CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE

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