ist time!

by lee 31 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • lee
    lee

    hi,

    i was brought up in the "truth" for over 30 years, mum was too, dad in it since a teenager, they were pioneers, i pioneered, ive left, managed not to be disfellowshipped, i dont believe it, but i love my parents, theyre nice people, victims too, how do i not take it out on them, i have a drink in my hand its how im starting to cope, its hard to deal with right? am i normal or am i crazy? i couldnt buy a xmas tree, the guilt, i look over my shoulder every time i buy a birthday card, if i meet an elder i feel frightened and guilty - BUT I DONT BELIEVE IT! I KNOW ITS ALL CRAP! - know how im feeling? i have 4 good friends out in the"world" - its taken me ages to think that theyre slightly trustworthy, yet they love me to bits and for whoever i am. It feels so disloyal to my parents, but i hate that religon its inhumane, does this mean anything to anyone on this site?

    would be good to talk,

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex

    Howdy lee.

    It's hard at first. I remember I felt so angry and so betrayed, and it sounds like you are feeling something similar. You are taking the first step into realizing the difference between conditional and unconditional love. This is a good place to come talk, we've all been there.

    It does get better.

    Chris

  • franklin J
    franklin J

    hi lee

    buckle up and prepare for the ride.....

    keep a good positive attitude and move forward with your life. Do not look back. Make new friends ( non JW). It will get better as you have new positive experiences with new friends .

    regards, and be well, Frank

  • calamityjane
    calamityjane

    Hi Lee and welcome. You're not alone and you will find an abundance of support here.

    love

    cj

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    i couldnt buy a xmas tree, the guilt, i look over my shoulder every time i buy a birthday card, if i meet an elder i feel frightened and guilty

    This too shall pass

  • Emma
    Emma

    Welcome, Lee! I have been in your place as have many of us here. How everything unfolds for you depends on a lot of variables, including your parents. Many of us have "faded" which can be easier in the beginning but which can prolong the situation and doesn't offer closure. You'll get to read experiences on this board which should be encouraging.

    Emma

  • lee
    lee

    Thank you, i dont want to drink myself stupid, i just dont know what i want to do, its not a question i have asked myself much in the past, it was all about what should i be doing to please whoever, did you struggle with confidence or is that just me?

  • Winston Smith :>D
    Winston Smith :>D

    Welcome lee,

    You'll find understanding here that will be beneficial to your recovery from the JW cult.

    Many of us have been through similar situations. So feel free to post your thoughts

    I just DA'd myself last December, so I am recovering myself, but I find it helpful to be here during this stage in my life.

    Best,

    Paul [Winston.]

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    Lee it get's better and quickly. Merry christmas, happy new year, happy birthday, Happy everysinglelittlethingtheykeptfromyouthatyougotbacknow. The grass really is greener over here on the other side.

    Welcome!

  • DevonMcBride
    DevonMcBride

    Hi Lee and welcome.

    Devon

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