by minimus 29 Replies latest jw friends
I wish I could say I was completely free from the mind control but honestly I haven't reached that point yet. I still deal very much with the guilt and worrying about doing the right thing............
but, thanks to all the help I recieve on the board and all of the new friends I'm making I can certainly say I'm on my way! :)
Desi
My Master has assured me that I am not under mind control.
LMAO @ elsewhere--- I honestly think I have a better idea about what the WTBTS is all about from reading this board so don't think they would be able to play the mind F@#$% game with me .
There is a distinct difference between "being under WT mind control" unknowingly, and having an awareness of and sensitivity to it that allows you to speak to JWs in the language that they accept, understand and hold dear.
Two people who speak completely different languages cannot dialogue together without the willingness of one of them to try to use the language of the other, or having a skilled translator available to mediate the conversation.
So while I know that the WTS no longer controls my mind, I do not want to discard the "language" because it serves a purpose when communicating with JWs, in allowing me to "meet them where they are" mentally and emotionally.
Love, Scully
Well a couple of months ago I would say No they no longer control me. And for the most part they don't.
But when I went to my daughter's wedding and was shunned by the ex and my old "friend" the anger was intense. I was surprised by my anger and am upset with myself for having fallen into that trap. Never again though
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There is a distinct difference between "being under WT mind control" unknowingly, and having an awareness of and sensitivity to it that allows you to speak to JWs in the language that they accept, understand and hold dear.Thanks Scully, I was thinking something of this sort, but couldn't find the words. While I will continue to communicate with certain JWs in a respectable manner, I am also trying to present my opinions to them when the opportunity arrives in a way that could be digestable to them if they are so disposed. | |
So while I will be honest I will follow some of the rules of properly conducting myself, but I will no longer be a stick in the mud JW. I now feel free to think and express myself to all people in whatever manner I wish to do so, whether it be respecting the kindly JW or frolicking with the friendly apostates....whatever...
As far as the mind control--this site has been a great help (along with some professional therapy). The more I purge and the more I read about others who are purging the WT seems smaller and smaller to me. The elders I once feared no longer have the same hold over me as I now can view them as pathetic little men who are trying to gain some control in their highly controlled lives by controlling others.
It's all about how you chose to do it--it you are making your own choices you are no longer under their control. there may still be some triggers set up that may go off at times--that is just the way it is, but in general if you are no longer allowing them to make the rules you are no longer under their control.
I wonder if you are ever completely out from under that mind control..
Interesting question Min, I would say my thinking is freed, but my actions are still somewhat constrained because I'm "fading." Yesterday I had occasion to have breakfast with "worldly" family plus my fanatical JW mother. She, of course, "used every opportunity to spread the good news." Blah. for the first time I heard it exactly as they do. A bunch of crazy talk. And for the first time I was looking at her with the same look on my face that they get. My mom saw it, and it ruined the rest of her morning. Which made me feel a little sad, but not guilty, although I did try to rein it in after that.
So I would say, no longer under WT mind control, but the fact that I have family in and devout does stop my mouth a little. Not because I question my choice to be free of it, but because I don't want to cause them any more pain than necessary.
O
I think we will ALWAYS be affected by the Watchtower----no matter what happens.
That's what I feel about being abused as a child; but it does fade. It takes time. Better to be an ex-JW than a JW.
Blondie
