Confrontation has its place

by Maverick 25 Replies latest social relationships

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  Sassy

  I have learned the hard way not to always just do what everyone wants.. As some might have noticed, my nature is to try for the most part to get along with everyone, many times in my past "peace maker" could have labeled me correctly, so it has taken some hard knocks to realize that although being able to get along with most everyone and helping maintain peace is good, it is not always the only thing to be. I've learned how to say no. And if needed deal with a situation saying no brings.

  If something is bothering me, I might give it a day or two, or maybe even a week time to reflect on if it is worth bringing up, but I have learned if it is important, if I have a respectful relationship with that person, although they might not like what I have to say, generally they will respect me for standing up for myself and/or clearing the error.

  You are right, as witnesses, we were not necessarily trained that way, especially women, but thankfully even old habits can be changed.

  Good thread Maverick
• 

  Flash

  Confrontation has its place

  But as you get more practice with confrontation you will be able to use it in a calm, professional manner.

  Yes it does!

  Calm yet firm is best. I haven't mastered it though, I am improving.
• 

  xenawarrior

  never mind
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  It's something all of us need to be bolstered for: assertiveness. Thanks, Mav.
  

  Flyin'
• 

  goddess_baal

  Ohmygod.....yet another ideal the organization taught me.

  *laughs sardonically*

  I am very non-confrontational. Almost disgustingly so. Thank you for the reminder to keep myself in check when I feel a nice big shoe heel coming down on my head.

  *goddess_baal*
• 

  copsec

  I used to let people walk all over me. In the last few years I have heard people make comments about me such as that they don't like me because I say what I think and to anyone who wants to hear it or is within earshot. Instead of being offended when I hear comments like that, i am PROUD! NO ONE is going to tell me what to do ever again if I don't want to do it!
• 

  Bryan

  Nos:

  I went through life being silent. I could never approach my parents with any problems I had for fear of getting a beating, or denial. I learned how to go through life quiet, and giving into people's wants just to keep them quiet.

  Man you hit the nail on the head!

  Bryan
• 

  Undaunted Danny

  The Rockland Massachusetts Kingdum Hell tried to squeeze me into their candy-assed geeky wimp mold.

  They tormented me to no end.When I finally blew my stack over all the abuse.I was DFed for,"unrepentant fits of anger'.

  Jesus laid down the protocol for settling confrontational disputes at Matthew 18:15.

  The procedure NEVER worked with any of my JW perpetrators,because they would lie and deny it all

  This behavior is called,:Psychopathy

  Jehovah's Witnesses won't face up to the facts,rather they will get in your face and fillibuster.

  Sooo,we are,"in their face in cyberspace".
• 

  Golf

  Mav, nothing like learning from the school of hard knocks to be confrontational. Yes, it does have it's place.

  Guest 77
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  Cicatrix

  Thanks Maverick,

  I needed that. I've just realized over the past few months how nonconfrontational I've been in my life, especially in my relationship with my parents, siblings, and in-laws. I have been financially and emotionally supporting grown adults who are more than capable of doing this for themselves, and I've been doing it to the detriment of my own family. Well, I put a stop to it recently, and it's caused a major upheaval. Suddenly, now that I'm not handing out money, finding them jobs, and letting them live under my roof while they "find themselves",I rarely hear from any of them anymore.But my relationship with my own children is getting much better.