life after death

by Sookie 34 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Sookie

  Hi!

  I'm new to this forum and was born and raised as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. My family left the religion when I was around 15-years-old. I am now in my late 20s. Although I am aware of other religions and spirtual beliefs, I can't seem to see beyond the ones that were instilled in me since birth from Jehovah's Witnesses. Which is why I am hoping someone is willing to give me feedback on my current dilemma. Since my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years died 4 months ago, I have been questioning what happens to life after death. He was not a JW either. We had hoped to get married and he passed away very unexpectedly in his sleep. Since his passing, I've been confused, angry and very depressed. Until his passing, I had always believed what JWs taught me about life after death. But, as you all know, that belief system does not include people like my boyfriend or ex-Witnesses like myself. None of my friends seem to understand this internal confusion I have, mainly because they don't understand the nature of the religion or why that belief system is so ingrained in me. I would appreciate any feedback any of you can give me because not knowing what to believe about life after death has inpacted my ability to deal with his death and heal. This is very agnozing to deal with when no one seems to understand how I feel.

  Sookie
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  ozziepost

  G'day Sookie!

  Mrs Ozzie and I send you greetings from the land downunder!

  Welcome aboard - how glad we are to see you here.

  Many of us here have had very tragic and traumatic experiences - a lot of it at the hands of the "loving shepherds" of the Borg. Along the way we've found much solace here, but also in excellent material available from such sites as www.freeminds.org Check out the experiences there and also see the books and cassettes available - all designed to help you at this time to clarify your thoughts. Take it steady. Don't feel you have to rush things.

  May you find peace as you walk the road to freedom.

  Cheers, Ozzie
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  shotgun

  (((((((Sookie)))))))

  So sorry for your painful loss, you'll find good friends who understand exactly how you feel on this forum...jgnat has a thread for newcomers which I'll try to post for you...

  Hugs from shotgun

  Found it..http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/9/58215/1.ashx
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  gumby

  Until his passing, I had always believed what JWs taught me about life after death. But, as you all know, that belief system does not include people like my boyfriend or ex-Witnesses like myself

  Hi sookie, and a big welcome.

  Angry, depressed, confused? That's normal from where you have came from. We ALL have been through it or are going through it.

  As far as your comments above......the dubs do not teach your boyfriend has no hope. They believe all who die....BEFORE armageddon will be ressurected to get a second chance. Most dubs would also tell you that Jehovah will read your heart as far as your salvation goes......even though the society has spoken contrary to this in the same breath.

  This place has brought a healing to many here.......perhaps it will you also.

  Gumby
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  Mulan

  I am so sorry for your loss. What a tragedy!!

  As I recall the JW beliefs, and I was one from age 4 to age 50, they would say your boyfriend would be resurrected. Death aquits a person of sin, so he would fall into that category.

  As to what really happens at death, no one knows for sure. I think our philosophy of life should be to live this one fully, and responsibly.

  Welcome to our world, by the way.
  Marilyn/Mulan
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  LyinEyes

  ((((Sookie)))) I am sorry to hear of the passing of your boyfriend, very tragic . A friend's boyfriend died at the age of 23 , he was walking , laughing , getting ready to go to the movies, and just fell to the ground. Even with all efforts by the EMT's, there was nothing that could be done. They think it was a brain hemorrage. Very sad.

  I do know how you feel about wondering if there is life after death,,,,this has been my preoccupation for going on two years now. I lost my mother many years ago, and I was raised a JW and thought for so long she was going to be resurrected in the New Order.

  When I saw the WT for all it really is , the lies, the things that don't add up according to the Bible, etc. etc.,,, I had and still have no clue as to what is on the other side. I am no closer to understanding anything about that , no matter what I read, what I watch on TV, I try to pray for some kind of sign, or look for things to prove to myself that my Mom could be in Heaven, but so far nothing really.

  I guess I have more peace about my Mom( who also died in a tragic way) , since leaving JW, just the hope that she may be in a peaceful place , and that she may have been with me all these years even thou I didnt think so.

  It is so strange that all the while a JW, thinking she was just dead in the earth, that was never a comfort and the pain of her just being out of exsistance hurt very much.

  Now, as I said before,,,there is just something I feel, something that makes me calm, makes me think that she could be happy that I am out of the JW's, because maybe in time, I will truly believe she is in Heaven. I have come along way in just two years, compared to a lifetime of JW brainwashing and instilled beliefs,,,,so I can imagine what I might believe in two more years, etc.

  Sookie,,,,,just open your mind to possibilites that your beloved is in a peaceful place. I don't think any of us know for sure , or could prove that there is life after death. Some have had near death experiences, or have seen the bright light,,,and so many do believe one way or the other about God, Jesus, Life after Death, Heaven, the Bible,,,,they are blessed if they feel they know what to believe.

  I can tell you Sookie, that I have had several dreams that my Mom came to me and we spoke of these things, as real as if she was really there. In my dreams is the only "contact" that I have had with her, and still I am not sure if it is really her in my dreams or just my subconscience trying to comfort myself.

  I hope that in time you will find the answers you are looking for. Remember as JW's we thought we always had the answers to everything, and even if they were wrong , they WT told us what everything was, will be and what each verse in the Bible meant. Now we are on our own, trying to find fact from fiction, maybe somethings are meant to be a mystery and in time we will know . But I know it is not easy to think we have all the answers and then we dont and then we feel like a fish out of water, floudering around trying to figure life out, when our religious foundations are torn apart.
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  Navigator

  We are all made of "God Stuff". How can God lose part of Himself/Herself? Not possible! Each of us is a unique idea in the mind of God and ideas never leave their source. Despite what the churches might have you believe, no one is going to be lost. Will the path back to the Father be painful for some? You bet it will! Life on this planet is a "learning laboratory". Like the Prodigal Son, we may have to "slop the hogs" for awhile before we get our head on straight. The good news is that we will all be welcomed home.
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  zen nudist

  Honesty is what has helped me.... no one knows what happens to you after you die, why not just accept that? there are many uncertainties in life, each move we make is a gamble to some degree and what happens after the curtain falls cannot be verified by any means other than self deceptions.

  Faith after all, is but a gamble on a rumor despite the evidences present....

  I find I cannot respect a god who demand I lie to myself...if I don't know, why damn me for being honest about it?

  JWs and others try to force you to accept a myth, legend, rumor, and cleverly convoluted logic as proof and to make you claim, because of this that you KNOW and are now accountable...

  Paul says, by all things of creation we KNOW there is a god and have no excuse.... I say he is full of $#!+ and a con artist, first of all conning himself and then others because he held strong CONvictions.

  here is a simple thing...if someone presents their belief as FACT, unless they can tell you a way to verify it yourself which does not involve you using self-hypnosis, like telling yourself something is real when you have no evidence that it is... they are in essence lying to you....

  it seems that much confusion, including yours, comes from thinking you should KNOW the answer and cannot find it...when the reality seems that some questions cannot be answered without lies and self deceptions.
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  Sookie

  Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to respond to my e-mail. It's really hard to convey the emotions that occur when you lose your partner. That person can not be replaced. And contrary to popular belief, your life does change. I've found that there is no such thing as going back to normal, but rather, you have to create a new normal. And that's what I'm trying to do now, create a new normal. I especially appreciate those of you who have responded with sympathy. I have friends who want to debate with me about what I should and should not believe regarding my boyfriend's death. Some have actually gotten angry, especially when I refuse to debate. I know that some of them mean well, but when you're grieving sometimes you just need to talk to people who understand and who won't judge you for your beliefs or try to preach to you. Sometimes people don't realize that there are things that are simply inappropriate to say when someone is grieving. If there is one thing I have realized in the short 4 1/2 months since my boyfriend's passing is that my friends, who are closer to me than family, all have some type of spiritual belief that has helped them deal with the lost of a loved one- that has given them hope that they will see their loved one again. When you don't have that, the lost of that loved one becomes even harder to deal with because you don't know if you'll ever see them again. I love my friends but they can't relate to my spiritual dilemma...Anyway, you've all given me alot to think about. And I look forward to more feedback, since I can use all that I can get.

  Deepest Thanks!

  Sookie
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  codeblue

  (((Sookie))) Hi and welcome to the board!

  I was so sorry to read about your boyfriend...what a tragic loss for you...

  What a dilema you are in, feeling at a spiritual loss. Many from this board have gone thru such emotions. I recently have too, and was raised a JW and believed so for 46 years.

  When I was a young teen my Mom died...I looked forward to the resurrection to see her again. Well, despite my new awareness of learning the "truth isn't the truth"...puts me kinda in the same quandry as you. I still choose the resurrection belief to this day. It is a comfort to know my Mom is out of pain and that one day I will see her again. My Father wasn't a JW, and died in my 20's, and I believe he will be resurrected as well.

  I think what I have learned in my journey is that there is "no right or wrong way"...of beliefs...Do your research, but by all means allow yourself to grieve. Please take care of yourself!

  I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that others truly "care" about you during this difficult time in your life. If you get a chance to meet up with some from the board, that can be a very satisfying experience, it has been for me.

  Codeblue