by run dont walk 34 Replies latest jw friends
avishai:
so I had to sit there with all the hot chix walking by, pointing at me, 'cuz I had a tampon hanging outta my nose. I did'nt go to an assembly at that district for years after that.
I'm laughing so hard I almost peed myself. Just the mind picture of that....lol
hmm maybe all the times we got beat in the bathroom or furnace room or off in a bedroom at the meetings or bookstudy or somethimes out in field service. always embarrasing when you are old enought to wear makeup and pantyhose and your mom is still beating on you like little kid.
((((( Odrade ))))) btw the way in this thread, we're taking brother Shotguns lead and replacing fing with fing. Just thought you'd want to know .
Probably the time when I was pioneering and leading the group into apartment territory. Within minutes the manager came out and told us to leave. Well I hadn't driven my car and I couldn't find the sister in whose car I had come, so I told the rest of the group to go to another territory, and waited for a very slow sister.
I stood by her car and about 30 minutes later the manager came out again, I explained the situation, told her I was not going door to door but I couldn't leave because I didn't have a car. Didn't matter to her. She was going to call the cops (that'll show me). So within just a couple of minutes a couple of redneck cops show up (why don't they respond that quickly to anything else), go into the manager's office and then come out with night sticks drawn. I'm a real dangerous guy.
So I bend over to get my bookbag, when I hear a loud >RIP<. My pants had split wide open. As the two Barney Fife wannabes were telling me to leave the complex, I could feel a cool spring breeze wafting between my legs. I came up with the brilliant idea of leaning back on to the sister's Ford Pinto, (hoping the gas produced by my now churning intestines would not cause the car to explode), as a way to hide my Underoos.
Fortunately for me the two redneck cops were as lazy as they were dim witted, so to arrest me was more trouble than they wanted to go to. So they came up with the brilliant plan of having me stand on the sidewalk until the amazingly slow sister showed up. The only problem was they were going to wait, and watch, for me to walk the 15 feet to the sidewalk.
I don't know which confused them more, the fact that I chose to walk backwards to the sidewalk or that I chose that moment to give them my opinion that Danny White would never lead the Dallas Cowboys to the Super Bowl. Thankfully they were baseball fans, or thought me certifiable, because they got back in the patrol car and headed for the nearest donut shop.
So for the next 30 minutes I stood on the sidewalk and flashed passing cars. Luckily no one stopped and offered me money as I probably would have gotten in just to get off the damn sidewalk.
Chris
I was about eight and I was to give my first public talk in the main hall. In this congo we had three schools with the other two being much smaller. I went up to the stage and looked at the Brother who asked me what the theme of my talk was and I ran to the bathroom and stayed there for the rest of the school. Upon sitting down the first words my empathetic father told me was "no more skate board for you". I had just gotten a skateboard this being the 70's and skateboards being the latest toy.
What a miserable childhood I had......................
I'm dying with laughter here.
When I saw the thread title, my first thought was - pubescent and on microphones.
I'm sure they assign boys the job for the laugh.
The occasion I have in mind was when I was doing the middle aisle and platform.
I had to go up to adjust the mic for the guy doing the item after the announcements, and then walk backwards to my seat.
Once in the field service as I was talking to a lady, some dust particles got under both of the contact lens that I was wearing causing the eyes to get a very irritated red colour, and to start shedding a lot of tears. As she began to wonder what was going on I suddenly stopped talking to her, gave her the magazines quickly and just walked away to remove the lenses. It was the last time I ever wore contact lenses while out preaching.
Big Tex You never cease to amaze me.
Thanks to you, I ended up choking. Fortunately it was only an ice cube, and the glass was empty.
I'm OK now.
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down your throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
A little hint there XJW
FMZ
Thanks for your advice FMZed (Canadian lingo there)
CJ came over and French Kissed it out of the trachea.
btw, what's a handsome young fella like yourself doing on a DB on a Friday night?
