How many were raised as a JW during their teenage years?

by codeblue 69 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  codeblue

  Ciara: welcome to the board....thank you for posting. That must have taken a bunch of courage with your 5th generation JW lineage. Please post more when you can.

  I was raised in the "truth"....my Mom died when I was a young teen...my Dad wasn't a JW. Me and my older teen sisters kept going regularly to the meetings. I was constantly made to feel like crap because I didn't comment enough, read all the magazines, or quit school to pioneer. You would have thought they were happy that we just came to the meetings with loosing our MOM. We lived far away from the KH and several Saturdays NO ONE would show up for field service but us.

  In school, of course I didn't fit in...living the JW lifestlye. Sassy: I totally identify with you on that one!

  Plus when my Mom died, my Dad became an alchoholic...and me and my sisters actually became the ADULTS in the house. Always worried about HOW much DAD was drinking. Or if the house would still be there when we got back from a meeting, because when he was drunk he would cook in the kitchen. One time...it was scorched to pieces and WE had to clean it up...

  Talk about being stripped twice of your teen years. I ALWAYS had to be responsible.

  I was an A student...had music and education scholarships I couldn't take....because if I did...I would feel like even less of a JW.

  I have enjoyed reading all of your experiences...please keep them coming!!!

  Thanks to all of you,

  Codeblue
• 

  mrs rocky2

  Started attending meetings regularly at age 8. So yes, life as a teenager was restricted to a rather dull existence. There were few young people where I lived. The most difficult thing to overcome is that line about 'not working to my potential.' Because the 'Armageddon's just around the corner' was pounded in to us at every opportunity, I didn't set any personal goals. By golly, I was going to pioneer until the end. So here I am, 40 something, still wondering what I should do when I grow up.
• 

  codeblue

  I hear ya Mrs. Rocky2...I keep asking myself the same question: "What am I gonna do when I grow up???"
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  This subject is really important to me?

  I was raised a JW and I am STILL trying to ?get over? loosing my teenage years.

  No sports, no clubs, no dances, no friends, no boyfriends, no life...

  You can?t just ?loose? an entire developmental stage like that and not have it affect the rest of your life.

  I wrote a post about this issue years ago that explains why raising teens this way is abusive and detrimental to their development:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/10438/1.ashx

  It is not all in our minds. It IS a big deal that we were raised this way.

  -LisaBOBeesa
• 

  codeblue

  Wow...Lisa...thank you for sharing your post...I will definitely check into the one you have cited.

  Codeblue
• 

  exjdub

  Codeblue,

  Great topic.

  I was raised in the Org since I was 5 years old. I guess I have bittersweet feelings about it and have to say that, were it not for the Troof, I would not have met my beautiful wife (23 years and still going) and had the wonderful kids that I have. On the flip-side...I got married the first time at 17 years of age to a "Sister", not for any other reason than to have sex within the proper confines of the Org (I know, how stupid huh?) and I wanted to get out of the house. Also, it was made clear by the Org, my mother, and stepfather that I wasn't going to go to college, so that left prospects for any type of normal life pretty slim. The marriage lasted a year and a half and I had the chance to live a little bit after that because I became inactive and did not go to meetings. I did return some time later and then left for the final time years ago. I can tell you that I am not wasting any time now. Freedom is awesome...

  I am still angry about the college ban and that definitely had an effect on my teenage years. It would have made my life easier, even now, if I had gone to school. I have done well for my education level, but it could have made things a lot easier over the years if I had that piece of paper. As far as being a normal teenager... I guess anytime you are as different as we all were you are going to be, at the very least, a little screwed up. I guess I have looked at it that who is to say what my life would have been if I had left earlier? If I had been able to try out for the school teams, or go to dances, would I be a better person? I don't know. Could I have run into a lot of trouble? Maybe. Hardship and bad things shape and form us, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse, and one thing for sure is...I can't change the past, but I sure can make sure I don't repeat it. Regards.

  Exjdub
• 

  Cicatrix

  My parents told me that they were divorcing when I was in my early teens. I went off the deep end for a few months, started drinking and some other illegal activities. I started studying with the JWs when I was a teen. Due to my parent's bitter divorce, though, I had already given up most of the teen rites of passage to care for my sisters and brothers while my mother worked. I married young, partly because I decided that if I was going to be raising children, they were going to be my own. In my inexperience, I imposed my own rigid morality on myself, as part of what I considered to be "mature behavior", and what I was studying with the JWs helped me in my justification for doing so.

  In my late twenties, though, I had an early midlife crisis in response to how some events in my life were being handled by my "spiritual counselors". I started doing all those stereotypical things-dressed outlandishly, bought a sports car, colored my hair for the first time, stayed out listening to music at the bar until the wee hours of the morning (I never ordered a drink in a bar until I was twenty-seven years old, lol), bought porn mags, got my belly button pierced- basically did everything legal thing that teens usually try out that is frowned upon by the organisation in protest.When I was in my thirties, I started going to college, learned that it really was okay for me to think for myself, and bailed-not only from the religion, but from being peacekeeper, caretaker, and enabler for my sisters and brothers, and for my parents, who were still at each other's throats.

  But I still drive a sports car, color my hair,...

  This Life is Grand!
• 

  Cicatrix

  LOL Dan-O,

  Hopefully they didn't land in the Kingdom Hall parking lot after a meeting, like the condom wrapper that fell out of the car of our former presiding overseer's grandson's car.
• 

  Corvin

  This is a pic from 1968 of me and my four brothers. I am the baby.

  Back right: James. Baptized at age 12, df'd and shunned by all friends and family, completely cut off and made a pariah at age 13. He never recovered from the shame and became an alcoholic.

  Back left: Ronnie. Baptized at age 11, df'd and shunned by all friends and family, completely cut off and made a pariah at age 12. He never recovered from the shame and anger and became addicted to pot at age 13. He is now nearly 50 and cannot go a single day without a joint. He still vents his anger and rage on all of us brothers.

  Center: Donald. Never baptized. Became addicted to food and still has tremendous social inadequacies.

  Front left: Jeffrey. Was baptized at age 16. Moved out of the house and became a pioneer at 16. Was always gay and when all of his prayers for Jehovah to make him straight failed, he began smoking and drifted. Was MIA for nearly ten years after the death of our mother and has recently resurfaced with a meth addiction. Currently in treatment.

  Front right: Me, Corvin. Baptized at age 17 after answering three of the baptism questions correctly. Was df'd at age 18. While out, Satan sent me his daughter to marry. Was reinstated at 19 bringing my new bride along with me. Was df'd again at 23 for smoking. I then began doing teen things . . . and I am not done yet.
• 

  Wild_Thing

  ... raising hand.

  I was homeschooled during my high school years. I regular pioneered for one year when I was 14. Went to pioneer school with I was 15 (the youngest person there). The pressure and stress of my JW family life got to me by the time I was 16(we were living a double life ... with my dad/elder being so abusive). I hit rock bottom and attempted suicide a year and half after I quit pioneering. so ...nope ... my teenage years are lost ... wouldn't relive them again for nothin'!