How many were raised as a JW during their teenage years?

by codeblue 69 Replies latest jw experiences

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  findingme

  It's good to know I am not alone. Growing up as a Witness has built character for me, but it has also stunted my growth to some extent. Socializing has been so hard for me even now; I am still working on building enough self-esteem to feel worthy of friendship to anyone at work or my new "worldly" family. The one factor that I'm just now coming to terms with was concerning my oh-so-unChristian "introversion". A Watchtower study once explained the "extroversion" of Christ, and it pointed out that a true Christian who be like extroverted like Christt. I felt like such a bad person. I remember becoming so drained and overwhelmed after being around people all day in high school, then coming to the meeting and just feeling exhausted around people. I thought there was something wrong with me. I hated field service, because it meant being a salesperson, which was not my cup-of tea at all. In addition, I really wanted to go to college to be an architect, but that was just so sinful, because I should desire to be a pioneer. That desire just never surfaced...

  When I got married to a Ministerial Servant, he would belittle me for being so introveted, too. He was actually ashamed of me. He would make accuses for me to his family, who seemed to look at me like I was strange. Eventually, I was thought of by his family as a psycho. I was put on Prozac after I tried to commit suicide and because I cried every damn day.

  You can guess what eventually happened......we divorced...My boss noticed my pain. We talked. He, an introvert like me, understood. My boss and I were married within a year. I am learning so much from him. He still helps me understand I am "normal". He has also encouraged to me to go to college...which I am finally doing. Last year, I graduated with my associates with the highest honors. My name and picture were on the front page of the local newspaper because of it. I just HOPE my ex-hubby and the witnesses who thought I was psycho saw that newspaper....I would like to rub it in their faces.

  I'm still struggling with my stunted childhood, brought about by comments made concerning my introversion. Just recently, I learned from a psychology textbook that people could take the Myers-Brigg Type Indicator, a personality test. I learned that IT IS OKAY AND NORMAL TO BE AN INTROVERT....

  still..

  Findingme
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  Dan-O

  Hopefully they didn't land in the Kingdom Hall parking lot after a meeting

  Nope. Never went thru that. But attendance at various JW events DID teach me to make sure that the bottle of Jack Daniels was UNDER the seat, and not on top of the seat.
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  Dan-O

  Out of curiosity, Find ... what is your MB type? And what did you learn from the analysis?

  If I remember correctly, I was pegged as an ISTP.
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  lisaBObeesa

  WELCOME, Findingme!
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  Undaunted Danny

  http://www.freeminds.org/media/fredfranz75an.html Audio Top, Watchtower leader "flunky" Freddy Franz,saying that the world will end in 1975. I WAS THERE MATES!! Mr Franz's,popular catchphrase,regarding the 1 billion children murdered by the Jehovah: "...well,little nits grow up to be big nits..." I can vividly remember my surroundings in 1967, where i was::: ( age 10, in the men's room shitting bloody diarrhea from ulcerative colitis) when i first heard the ""prophecy'" I also remember my exact time/place when i heard Kennedy was shot. Sooo,I was 17 at the 1975 zero hour,waiting for the "new system" to "cure" of a crippling childhood disease. Post 1975 ,the Ivory tower strung us along for another 4 years with,the addendum of," how long did it take for Adam to name the animals"?
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  findingme

  Dan-o, taking the MB test resulted in ISTJ / ISTF for me. It appears you are an introvert, too. You can relate, then. I like people; I need people, but introverts just need "down" time away sometimes......I learned how to deal with this without offending other people ( I guess I'm still learning) The test also helped me decide which career move might be best for me.

  What else did you learn from the MB test?

  Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone. It's been difficult, but it's good to know there are other people who have "been there" .
• 

  codeblue

  Welcome Findingme!!! Thanks for sharing your experience.

  I am glad you finally have a husband that truly loves you and that you are successful in your life.

  Codeblue
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  truthseeker

  Being raised as a JW duirng my teenage years nearly sent me over the edge.
  

  I had no friends, I did badly at school and I wanted to commit suicide by the time I reached 13, I was bullied so much.

  things didn't improve until I left school, then the bullying stopped.

  But, I had no friends in the Kingdom Hall, no one made an effort, and no one knew what I was going through. I was thought of as a troublemaker, yet I never made any big mistakes, like having sex before marriage.

  I did smoke a bit when I was 12, but I never did drugs.

  I got drunk a few times when I was about 18 - but then I was really depressed and thinking of ways to end it all.

  Combine bullying at school for being a JW with no friends in the Kingdom Hall and you have the perfect recipe for a dysfunctional adult witness.
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  Dan-O

  Find, the big bonus from M-B testing was in helping me & Mrs. O learn how to better communicate with and understand one another ... without thinking that the other was a complete f'ing nutball.

  I already had a fair understanding of myself and who I was as a person. But it did help me understand that I needed to 'step up to the plate' a little more often. Recognizing my weaknesses gave me a target & allowed me to put a little more effort into those areas so that we could hold our marriage together. (It also gave Mrs. O a little more lattitude in accepting those weaknesses ... she finally understood that I was not intentionally holding out on her just to piss her off.)
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  blacksheep

  Ah, yes. Those were the years of bondage. I was literally in emotional and spiritual prison. What should have been some of the most carefree years of my life were destroyed. I developed an arrogance and judgementalism toward my peers. I was more mature. I didn't need to go to social events or be popular. In reality, I was trying to be the "perfect" (JW) daughter. I was pursued by non-JW guys that I truly was attracted to, but I somehow convinced myself that they weren't real people, since they were not JWs...ugh. I got top grades, was attractive, athletic and likable (not trying to be arrogant--just resenting the JW "burqa" I was under!), and generally tried to fit in, while being very aloof. I never "preached" to my aquaintances at school. I believe at some level I knew they were better off being in the "world."

  As with most people who are denied those days, they make up for it later. I did, and consequently was a later bloomer. I'm cool with that. I know of some people who's high school years were basically the highlight of their lives. I'm not sure that should be the case. But, guess I'll never know.