Its been my experience, that ex witnesses usually go all out, off the deep end that is, once becoming unglued from the KH.
Either turning to drugs or some sort of sordid path in a hail of self destructive behaviors.
I've known those who have gotten themselves killed within destructive relationships.
The guilt factor somehow must take a toll on the mind and spirit
Being taught that you're nothing other than a walking corpse just waiting to lie down, as it were, can do some pretty creepy things to the spirit of an individual.
It wasn't until I found this site that I always felt a morbid sense of Jehovah,looking over my shoulder, counting out my every sin on a tally sheet while I perpetually dig myself deeper in a black hole of no hope.
Also, it may be different for those who ware raised in the truth as opposed to those who learned of it from the outside. Being raised in the truth it would seem that many must partake to excess, of the forbidden fruits that were not allowed while under the thumb of the organization.
Those of us who come in from the world may already have had our fill of the sickness and degradation that exist just beyond our doorstep, choosing to carve out an even better life for ourselves and our families.
The Grace that belongs to God finds its way in the lives of those whom you would least expect to have it.
I believe that Grace to be existent and evident in my life, and I try to make the most of a difficult situation.
I never have been a truly angry person. Though one look at the movie anger management might start even the sugariest creamy coated of us to radically re-think our "Nicteyness" as an inverse opposite reaction to our betrayal of our truest of selves. That horrid, hatefully treacherous, self centered ego centric person that so quietly lurks in the dungeons of those of us, who either out of fear ourselves, or how the world may view us, gives us cause to squelch and silence that voice within.
"WARNING: " Remember Pavlovs Dogs!!! "
