Work Experience Brings Back Strange Memories ...

by Wild_Thing 39 Replies latest jw friends

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  Wild_Thing

  So we all know that growing up in the organization can truly screw you up ... I am living proof. But what happened today is over the top ...

  I am a school teacher. I know of this situation involving two step-brothers (9 and 10 years old) who live together. The younger one is very smart, but known to be a holy terror. The older one has learning problems, but is very sweet. Yesterday, the older one said hello to me in the hall and asked me if I had a neice. He told me that "she goes to my church."

  I thought he might be mistaken, seeing how "church" is a JW taboo term. After a little questioning, it is evident that he is telling the truth. As it turns out, his dad (whom he lives with) has been studying for a year and a half. The dad's new wife (of 3 years) is opposed, so only the older boy goes to the meetings with his dad. The younger step-brother is not exposed to it at all because of the difference in opinion between the parents. It is a tradegy in the making, as it appears the dad is becoming involved with the witnesses.

  At any rate, I found myself thinking maybe his younger step-brother (who is a holy terror in the classroom) should go the meetings so he would learn how to behave. I wanted to slap myself! Where was this coming from? Someone ... please slap me!

  Then I remembered a story my mom likes to tell when comparing which of her children were easier to raise. She said I would never stop moving from the moment I started walking. I was into everything and always had to be doing something. Needless to say, I was a holy terror at the meetings. She told me that she would walk the parking lots with me with I was baby, with both of us crying ... her being exhausted from trying to make me sit still and be quiet. I was the third of three children and the old tricks didn't work with me ... not even spankings.

  She said she found something that worked when I was three years old. She would tape record the meetings (it seems like tape-recording talks was very popular back then). Everyday, when we were at home, she would set the tape player on the coffee table and replay the talks. She said she would sit right beside me on the couch with one arm around me and a paddle in the other hand. She said she started out with 10 minutes everyday and increased it until I could sit for long periods of time (I don't know how long she kept this up). It worked, though. I became one of the most theocratic, well behaved JW child you ever did see. <gag!>

  I didn't realize until recently how cruel this probably was. I know that by today's standards, this would seem pretty abusive. Twenty or thirty years ago, it was more widely accepted and more or less promoted by the Watchtower. Now I find myself worrying about my neices. Does the Watchtower still encourage things like that? Am I mistaken when I say that they use to encourage spanking to instill "good" behaviors at meetings? Are there still screaming kids in the bathrooms at the meetings?
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  Sassy

  yes kids are still hauled back to the bathroom for a spanking.. that hasn't changed..
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  boa

  ahhhh the wonderful memories as a kid gets hauled kicking and screaming to the back of the hall, into the bathroom. Just a slight pause as the kids pants are dropped, then WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM, followed by more screams but the 'in deep pain' type now. Then, 10 minutes goes by, the parent comes out with the kid all red-faced and tear streaks running down the face.....jeece, the good ol' days only they still happen....

  After our first son was born and during the few meetings we were attending up till a few months ago, it was a real challenge but I didn't sweat it. I wasn't into sitting there like a bump on a log anyway, so to get outside in the fresh air with our very active boy was really a great thing.

  I haven't spanked our boy yet (he's 3) and he can be all of the things typical kids of this age can be. He is extremely active and curious and into everything - typical gd 'bad' behaviour many parents would call it. I call it one of the most beautiful times of life for him and for me in being there to experience it. When his behaviour does become inappropriate or we cannot have the patience to deal with it - he gets a time out and it works very well for us. I hope I never have to hit him to get a point across but am open to the possibility it may have its place - just not yet and hopefully never.

  boa was spanked big time as a child and look at 'im now, he's so well behaved he's a 'postate! sheesh
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  gumby

  First of all I'd like to say WildThing.....you make reading easy by the way you write.

  I don't know that there is any harm in dealing with children today in the manner you described. It seemed to work for you OK and you don't seem traumatised by it.........are you?

  Different kids respond to different treatments. Some kids could be spanked until unconscience.....and they would STILL rebel. Others have privleges removed, others have to sit for a time period. Much of what the EXPERTS say is not ALWAYS expert advise.

  Threatening with a paddle does seem a little extreme........but if nothing else works.............????

  Gumby
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  Who cares

  I don't understand how you blame the JW for your mother. I have been raised in the truth and was told I was bad at the meetings. My parents never spanked me, they realized I was just a kidd. I have a little girl who is now 10, she was terrible at the meetings and we tryed as hard as possible to keep her quit (never spanking her). Once we were sitting in the front row and the CO came and was talking about children being noisey at the meetings. Funny thing was she was listening and threw her book at the CO. After words the CO came to me and we had a little chat. I asked him if he had any children or if he had raised any children and he said no. I thanked him for his opnion but told him his opnion was obviously coming from someone with no child raising experience. So what I mean is your mother raised you according to her interpration of the "truth".

  I know have a 5 year boy that makes my 10 year seem like a dream. But he is slowly maturing. I realized that Jehovah did not require the Isrealites to go to so many meetings so I will never expect my kids to behave like adults for hours on end.

  People have to stop blaming the religion for what elders, sisters etc say. I could give a crap what others think or say about me and my family. Yes we have our aholes but so does everyone else.
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  gumby

  Funny thing was she was listening and threw her book at the CO.

  LMAO !

  A big hearty Welcome WhoCares.

  Gumby
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  Bryan

  Wild_Thing:
  

  She said she would sit right beside me on the couch with one arm around me and a paddle in the other hand.

  Who cares:

  I don't understand how you blame the JW for your mother.

  It's funny, how witnesses feel it's normal, God's will, in fact to teach your children with fear. As we all know that's how the WTBTS teach their "children". Fear! Forget that Christ's message was that of love. What happened to, do on to others as you would have them do on to you? How about if two elders or maybe servants were to flank the stage at every meeting. Each wielding his own "paddle". They could tower there, just waiting for someone to talk too loud, or laugh, or get up one too many times for the bathroom while God's Word is being taught. Do they think children see it any different, with the adults towering there, wielding their paddles, switches and thumping fingers? Do they not realize this creates a mental and emotional conection between fear, pain, disipline and God's teachings? Silly me... of course they do... it's called brain washing. AND THIS IS WHAT THE WITNESSES TEACH. "SPARE THE ROD, SPOIL THE CHILD."

  I understand, Who cares, your parents were good with you, but how can say to Wind_Thing, "I don't understand". Her mother was reacting to the teachings and pressure of the witness indoctrination.

  Bryan
• 

  galaxy7

  She would tape record the meetings (it seems like tape-recording talks was very popular back then). Everyday, when we were at home, she would set the tape player on the coffee table and replay the talks. She said she would sit right beside me on the couch with one arm around me and a paddle in the other hand. She said she started out with 10 minutes everyday and increased it until I could sit for long periods of time (I don't know how long she kept this up). It worked, though. I became one of the most theocratic, well behaved JW child you ever did see. <gag!>

  I can relate to your experience.When I did not live up to my mothers expectations she would make me read the paradise lost book the pages with the scary pictures and i would have to read about how my tounge would rot and my eyeballs would fall out and how the earth would open up and I would fall in, sometimes we read this 3 times a week.It is burned into my memory.

  I remember asking is she would miss me and she said the scriptures say there would be no memory of former things.

  I think how bad our abuse was is in relation to how early we were in the organization.They didnt treat children very good back then

  I blame the organization as my mother was totally brainwashed by them.Im sure she would have been a different parent had she been in another religion.
• 

  Odrade

  Different kids respond to different treatments. Some kids could be spanked until unconscience.....and they would STILL rebel. Others have privleges removed, others have to sit for a time period. Much of what the EXPERTS say is not ALWAYS expert advise.

  Threatening with a paddle does seem a little extreme........but if nothing else works.............????

  Wow Gumby, this is almost word for word the reasoning the elders and my parents used to justify beating the hell out of us with belts or sticks or kitchen utensils when we couldn't sit still during meetings, family studies, stand still in field service, when we sassed, didn't clean our rooms... whatever.

  I'm in therapy now, but I guess it worked. I'm really well-behaved...
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  Stefanie

  boa was spanked big time as a child and look at 'im now, he's so well behaved he's a 'postate! sheesh

  lol That was funny!

  a few years ago when I was going, there were sis spanking babies! How do you get a 10 month old quiet, by spanking him!

  Seriously I should have called the cops, spanking a baby is abuse! Period!

  Then there was sis wooden spoon! she would hit her 2 years old with a damn wooden spoon she would carry with her thoughout the mettings.

  Then there was sis pinch your kids quiet! Thanks to that beyotch my kids had bruises under their arms inflicted by their Nazi dad.