Jehovah's Witness Accidentally Eats Candy Cane

drwtsn32

Saw this on another site... way too funny not to post here!

http://www.onthejohnnews.com/2004/001/Witness.htm

Jehovah's Witness Accidentally Eats Candy Cane

ABOVE: Kimberly Flemmel Mourns Her Excommunication From The Jehovah's Witness Congregation After Eating A Candy Cane

SEATTLE, WA - Jehovah's Witness Kimberly Flemmel was expelled from her church community last week after eating a candy cane during a routine neighborhood recruitment trip. The 39 year old Washington native pleaded ignorance on her part, but her claims were not considered by her Church's elders.

Flemmel and her partner, Nicholas Stamanheimmer, were reaching the last stretch of the neighborhood designated to them for ?recruitment? when she accidentally tasted the forbidden fruit of Satan. The purpose of the exercise, as it is for all of Flemmel's faith, is to knock on each door in the neighborhood and accuse the residents of being sinful and blatantly evil. Witnesses claim that if residents don't change there ways they are going straight to hell, in an inadvertent manner...

Read the rest by clicking the URL above

xjw_b12

Too funny ...

one out of every 8,000 houses visited by Jehovah's yielding a family unintelligent enough to join the faith.

Too true !

calamityjane

She needs a life.

I've never heard of such bull$hit, to not be able to eat a candycane? That's nonsense.

JW's lead such pathetic, controlled lives.

Leolaia

Too funny! I like the parody of Adam and Eve.

But also notice how the author bungles JW doctrine (e.g. householders going "straight to hell") and terminology and culture (e.g. church community, church pastor, youth-related activities, Jehovah's Witness Community, etc.), yet also knows such terms as "worldly activity" and gets the sexism really right. So I wonder how much the person who wrote this knows the Witnesses. I still think not very much.