Jehovah's Witness Accidentally Eats Candy Cane

by drwtsn32 34 Replies latest social humour

• 

  Big Tex

  I was happily ignorant of this site yesterday. If the world is knocking down his doors in wild, unrestrained worship of his brilliant work, good for him. Hey, knock yourself out chief.

  Tell you what, I'll make sure I do not visit his little site. That should save him a little bandwidth.
• 

  drwtsn32

  LOL Big Tex

  I'm surprised an attorney would make so many spelling/grammatical errors. Oh well... people can easily click on the link to see the whole story. Doesn't matter to me. I may host the pic myself so I can put it back up though.
• 

  Leolaia

  Hey, I hope so....the picture is hilarious and half the story.... :)
• 

  drwtsn32

  Pic is back up... and the "attorney" can't complain this time.
• 

  Big Tex

  I'm surprised an attorney would make so many spelling/grammatical errors

  You noticed that too.
• 

  Leolaia

  No way the author is a real attorney. The grammar is especially atrocious, the spelling is terrible, and the style is far too deferential!! And the author is continually flattered by our little discussion of the article. I say he is the author of the article or maintainer of the site. Here is my grammar, style, and spelling check:

  Hello all, this This is Marshall Tcharkanian, the Legal Representative for On the John News, the authoring site of the article you are discussing above (On the John News). First I would like to appoligize apologize for regestering registering on this forum, when I have absolutely no intention of postin posting here aside from this one message. If the administrator would like to The administrator may delete me after this is read reading this message, that would be fine. I could not did not find a contact email address or any other alternative contact so I was left with no choice but to register registering here was my only choice. Second, I also would like to thank all of you all for appreciating your appreciation of my clients client's work. I would only ask two things of you and I hope that they can be taken care of please give the matter your urgent attention as soon as possible. First, please cease hotlinking the above image above is being hotlinked off of my clients client's server. He is constantly having bandwidth issues because of due to the sites site's popularity and thus he does not permit allow any hotlinking under any circumstance. My client has made it clear the that he does not mind of other sites wish to use others using his images, so as long as they the images are saved unto to a different server and not being hotlinked off of his own and are linked from there. The second thing that I would ask is that you trim down my clients client's article that was which you have copied and pasted above. My client is currently allowing allows message boards, blogs blogs, and other sites of this nature similar sites to reproduce only the first 2 or 3 paragraphs of a the story and then provide followed by a link back to the page it was taken from to the original page with containing a tag that reads something like says "read the rest here." By reproducing my clients articles in full youleave your Your readers have no reason to visit my clients client's site when the full text is provided, and therefor causing him to not benifit depriving my client of attention to from his own further work. We would appreciate the quick resolution of these two issues If these two issuse could be resolved by either system administrators or the original author of the post or the system administrators. , it would be much appreicated. If you have any questions please feel free to Please email me at [email protected] if you have questions regarding this matter. Thank you again for your time and for enjoying We appreciate your enjoyment of my clients client's work. Sorry to disturb your private message board.

  Marshall Tcharkanian
  Legal Representative
  On the John News
  http://www.onthejohnnews.com
  [email protected]

  Revised, improved version: This is Marshall Tcharkanian, the Legal Representative for the authoring site of the article you are discussing above (On the John News). I would like to apologize for registering on this forum, when I have absolutely no intention of posting here aside from this message. The administrator may delete me after reading this message. I did not find a contact email address or other alternative contact so registering here was my only choice. I also thank you all for your appreciation of my client's work. I only ask two things and please give the matter your urgent attention. First, please cease hotlinking the above image off my client's server. He is constantly having bandwith issues due to the site's popularity and thus he does not allow any hotlinking. My client has made it clear that he does not mind others using his images, as long as the images are saved to a different server and are linked from there. The second thing I ask is that you trim down my client's article which you have copied and pasted above. My client currently allows message boards, blogs, and similar sites to reproduce only the first 2 or 3 paragraphs of the story followed by a link to the original page containing a tag that says "read the rest here". Your readers have no reason to visit my client's site when the full text is provided, depriving my client of further attention to his further work. We would appreciate the quick resolution of these two issues by the original author of the post or the system administrators. Please email me at [email protected] if you have questions regarding this matter. We appreciate your enjoyment of my client's work. Marshall Tcharkanian
  Legal Representative
  On the John News
  http://www.onthejohnnews.com
  [email protected]

  The original letter reads like it was written by high school graduate, not like someone trained in law and English usage. Or do attorneys really write so poorly (with reference errors, colloquial constructions, etc.) and so deferentially?
• 

  shotgun

  It's actually a Governing Body member trolling the forum for fresh catch of the day.
• 

  Leolaia

  And consider the proclivity for similar grammatical and stylistic errors in the original article:

  "Despite being ridiculously bothersome, the entire process is highly unsuccessful with studies showing (i.e. for studies show) that one out of every 8,000 houses visited by Jehovah's yielding (i.e. yields) a family unintelligent enough to join the faith".

  "To participate (i.e. Participating) in any part of a "worldly activity" is the Christian equivalent of cannibalism."

  "But it wasn't the meat of another citizen that Flemmel tasted, rather; the sweet taste of a Christmas candy cane. I offered them some candy without second (i.e. without a second) thought about there (i.e. their) ridiculous religious ideas."

  "If I were to believe Kimberly's claim that she tasted the gluttonous candy of Satan by accident, which I don't, there is no number of (i.e. no amount of) new Witnesses that she could recruit to (i.e. she could ever recruit would) save her."

  "Any one who violates this rule must be made into a spectacle before every one starts (add: to do the same).
• 

  trahkonen

  I have to say that I do little bit wonder this. I remember in -70´s , once with elder we did come on field service to house that had 70 years birthday and there was local lutherian priest even visiting. We we offered coffee and cake, and course we did take, cause it would sure had looked very inpolite.

  Maybe in Finland things were/are different about rules. I don´t defence jw´s just this sounds quite bullshit..
• 

  drwtsn32

  Hehe... there may be quite a few grammatical errors in that fake news article, but it's still very funny!