What's the point of it all?

Puternut

I have been here on the board a while. Posting away, commenting on other threads. I have now been labeled officially an apostate throughout the circuit and district. And perhaps that's a good thing, so people won't have to talk to me and will stay out of my way.

But what is it that you get out of posting here? Is it to vent, relate to others, heal? I have met some great people here, but it's all in the cyber world. I know others can relate, on how we feel. But I have done that, and I don't feel like I have a direction in my life. I feel at loose ends, unconnected.

Ok so I am deeply involved in the silentlambs and with Norris and Love. And eventhough there is some satisfaction from that. It doesn't bring my children back. Where to go from here...

Just having a moment.

Puternut

Sassy

well I think perhaps your mailing out those emails to elders you knew might have gotten you that apostate label faster than just being here..

what do I get out of this? I enjoy people.. in person and in the cyber world.. It helps me to talk about things with people who were once JWs, because they can relate to where I am coming from, so for me it is theraputic. It it not my entire life however (believe it or not). I have other things going on too..

I think this place can be an aweseom place to help us heal, but it doesn't do it simply by being here. We heal by putting effort into ourselves.

codeblue

awe Puter ....I feel at loose ends too...I am trying to find out where my life is going.

When an active JW...I felt I had a purpose...now...I am in a conscious mind struggle attempting to find it. The fact that my children are marrried and live states away I have felt I have lost the "mom" title that I wore with great respect and admiration!!!

Sorry I don't have the answer...just know there are others out here struggling as well...

Looking forward to partying with ya this weekend

Codeblue

Gopher

Is it to vent, relate to others, heal?

Those can all be valid reasons. We go through many phases of our exit from that mind-numbing we had under the thumb of the WT Society.

It doesn't bring my children back.

This kind of comment is so sad. Posting here hasn't brought my parents back. I don't believe I'll ever get them back. Reading this board has helped me see that it is possible to get on with life even though the organization has some of our loved ones by the throat. Over time this hurt gradually lessens, though maybe never goes away.

Just having a moment

We all do, don't we?

codeblue

yes...I forgot the other question: What do I get out of this?

I enjoy meeting people that are going thru the same thing I am and that helps me feel not to "alone" or isolated in the way I am thinking. I really appreciate this board and the chance to communicate with them outside of the "cyber space".

Codeblue

Big Tex

I received validation of my reality. I was told I was the only one who had a problem with the Witnesses. I was told my questions were a lack of faith, and any problems I had were my fault. 15 years later I came here and found out there were thousands of others who went through similar problems and felt as I did. And yeah, it helped. Along the way I've met some great people and a couple of not-so great. But like everything else in life, you take what you need and leave the rest.

I'm sorry about your family situation puternut.

Chris

franklin J

Ari, I hear you about your children. That would kill me. If you were on the East Coast I would invite you out drinking. That invitation is open if you are ever in New York.

I think we come to this forum to find others with a similar history to our own. We understand the hurt and pain; no matter how old or far removed in time it is.

I have been out of the JW faith since 1982. I rebuilt my life and never looked back. Despite lots of friendships and acquaintances built up since that time; I find a very special kinship and camaraderie here that I find no where else. We have all shared many unique experiences.

Be assured that you are among friends.

regards, and be well, Frank

LyinEyes

Puternut I am sorry you are feeling the emptiness of not having your daughters in your life, that has to be so hard. I still hope that in time your kids will come back to you. I have a strong feeling that in time they will want to understand what you are doing, even if at first they dont want to think about it , they will have nagging questions as to why you left, and want more answers.

I am still bitter over the loss of my mother, I do hold the WT to blame for part of her suicide. There is nothing I can do , except write about her ordeal , the effect it had on me,,,,,,,because i feel by doing that I am her voice, when she can not speak for herself anymore. The sad part is I can never have my mother back no matter how many times I tell her story to people who will really listen. It does help to talk about it,,,,but now I do it to honor her and to maybe help others along the way , just so they know they are not alone , as she felt she was.

I have made alot of really great friends on this site, and I really don't think of them as "online" friends, I talk about some of you to some friends here in my home town. When I speak of some of you , I say my friend that is from MN, or my friend from England, Canada, etc. Sometimes I tell them I met them in a chat room, or that we have met in person .

I can say my friends here are just as special to me as my"real life" friends,,,,,,,,,maybe even more so.

Clinton

Since I am new here I am not sure what the long-term benefit may be but I do know already just being here and reading the many post has helped me. I was reading posts on here for a while before I signed up and started posting myself because I wasn?t sure if being on here would help me. I am finding it is wonderful to be around those who understand why the JW?s have had such an effect on my life. Even after being away for 2 years the effects of being in the cult for 36 continues to affect me. I tried to explain some of it to a girlfriend and her reaction was ?why didn?t you just leave?? ?Why can?t you just leave it in the past?? She wasn?t trying to be insensitive but it was hard for her to completely understand.

On here, though, I can chat with fantastic people who still feel the pain of being a JW and need to get things off of their chests, as I am sure I will need to sometime, and there are some on here who have dealt with many of the same issues I am dealing with, which is comforting to know you are not alone. For me it also gives me an outlet. Of course like most on here I have lost all of my friends including ones I had my entire life and now I don?t want to alienate the few newer friends I have gained since leaving by continually talking about my experiences as a dub. To me this is a friendly venting arena that I hope can help me heal a bit from being a jdub.

Clinton

Snapdragon

Puternut,

I've been on this forum all of two weeks, so I'm the last to offer you advice on how to pick yourself up. I have no children, but I once had a family.

I guess you're not looking for advice, though, are you?

So my question to you is, how do you feel spiritually? After spending so long with your life revolving around your religion, you must feel some void. How are you dealing with that area? I'm truly curious, as that is the main focus of my battle right now. I want to know where people go to fill up the emptyness of losing everything spiritual.

And what do I get out of this forum? I agree with almost every previous reply...I realize I'm not alone. It was total deja vu to see that Tex had been told he lacked faith. I remember that same conversation with my study guide. She refused to answer my questions past a certain point, saying I wasn't serious enough. No one was ever more serious.

And a personal note; other than the friends and "family" here, are you alone? You sound so hopeless I wish I had something more meaningful to say. Do those around you realize your pain?

You don't have to answer that last part if it's too personal, and I apologize if it is offensive.

~A

What's the point of it all?

Share this