What's the point of it all?

by Puternut 26 Replies latest jw friends

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  outbutnotdown

  A cousin of mine, whose parents were dubs 30+ years ago, said to me when I told him I was leaving and NEVER going back: "ISN'T IT NICE TO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING?"

  He had, in the past, talked with me about the JW religion but NEVER tried to tell me that I should leave, but he waited until I decided for myself to leave, before saying those enligtening words.

  What effect did it have on me? And what effect does coming to this site have on me?........ It's nice to know that people all around the world who ALL, at one point, thought that they were the chosen ones are able to take the position that NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING is OK....... and even more than that..... that our whole life is a search for our own spirituality and not some prepackaged mumbo jumbo dreamed up by a few men, no matter how well-intentioned they MAY have been.

  Puter, I hope you find peace in not knowing where you are going just as much as you feel a loss of your loved ones. 'Cause I know it's a lot easier for me to say what I just said than it is to live by it, but trying is the beginning.

  Brad
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  Sunnygal41

  {{{{Puter}}}}} It's a process................it takes time...............some of that ache and sadness will go away...........meanwhile, you will meet and gain new friends and new hobbies and activities to replace those you lost..............right now, you are feeling the huge vacuum that anyone will feel when they make major life changes................of course exacerbated by the fact that the WTS takes our families away from us.........but, as someone once said to me, you will gain new family..........and, I have.......I consider all of you on here my family, as well as the ones in my daily life..........I have awesome people to replace those conditional friends.............all the ones I have today accept me exactly as I am for who I am, faults and all. Just keep sharing and posting and venting...............don't keep that poison inside of you.

  Terri
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  Sunnygal41

  When we were in the borg we had a 'certain' direction. Now what we are out, we have to figure it out on our own. That's were I am now. Not knowing where to go from here.

  It's going to take time, Puter..........it won't happen all at once, or overnight. You will ache and grieve for some time...........then, slowly, things will change.........but, you can certainly help the process by finding something that will bring you joy............mine was reading and researching............each of us have to find what will help ourselves personally............this is a normal process you are going thru..............and it's scary, sometimes to feel that empty.
• 

  simplesally

  Big Tex said what I was going to say: Validation.

  It helps me to realize that I am not alone with my feelings. Sometimes the void creeps up and I think about my spirituality and think what if I were to go back? I know I am not going to do that and I come here and read posts and say to myself: see why you are not going back. I do think I might go to another Church though, not sure. I still pray although I rarely use the name Jehovah when praying to God. I guess praying has helped me to not feel totally cut off from God, hence, not so lost.

  I haven't met many people in real life from the board but this board gives me a place to share a little humor, be reflective and see that I am not alone.
• 

  Puternut

  Sunny,

  Thanks for the comment. I think when we all were at one time in the borg, we 'thought' we had a direction. We could answer almost ALL questions we had about our lives. We had answers on the future, the past, our families, our jobs, etc etc. Now that we are out, we have to start all over again, trying to figure out what the 'real' answers are for ourselves. That's the faze I am in right now. Perhaps I shouldn't worry about it too much, and let time go by and see where it takes me. But I am a structured person, and hate loose ends. Or not having an answer on peoples questions, or my own for that matter. Right now, I don't even know if there IS a god/ess. Or what the future for mankind holds...... ya know??

  Puternut

  (still thinking about my world cruise on my boat)
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  Sunnygal41

  Puter, I DO know..........I was once in that position myself.........I don't have all the answers, but, I do know from experience how frightening all that emptiness and not knowing did to ME: It created overwhelming fear, sometimes. Sometimes, I'd get sooooo lonely, I'd be sobbing, almost hysterically. But, slowly, I started to meet new people, and in the meantime, I did all the reading and researching I could on all the questions I had ever had. I was fascinated by so many things, cuz I had been in for so many years, since I was 14. I had a hunger you wouldn't believe for spiritual things...............I guess I was lucky to have such a burning focus..........it filled many hours for me.............but, I did some kicking of my heels up, sowing the wild oats I never got to sow as a teenager.............it WILL get easier, I promise, on my honor, and from my own experience..........but, you will find your own path..........everyone does it a bit differently. If you need to talk anytime, pm me, I'll give you my personal email addy.

  xoxoxox

  Terri
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  Carmel

  Awh the ultimate question, the purpose of life! The one thing that cannot be bestowed by secular humanists. The one thing that religion does is help define purpose. Science is wonderful and fulfilling on the material level, but it does not and cannot define purpose for us. For most people, finding a "cause" into which one can throw him/herself gives more meaning and purpose than focusing on self. That goes a long way, but it still will not fill the "void" of emotion need and intellectual disconnect without a rational understanding of what life is all about and where we each fit into the whole picture, now and into the future.

  Puter, my friend, you have been emotionally neutered by the policies of the Borg, so you have a hole to climb out of emotionally and socially. I wish you the very best in your quest.

  carmel