Heroin Overdose=Daughter=HELP! (page 2)

ZazuWitts

Pat,

(((((((TONS OF HUGS SENT YOUR WAY)))))))

Pat, this may not appeal to you:) - but I suggest you get on the phone and start calling mainline churches in your area. I know that in my area, several have great community assistance programs - you don't have to be a member of their congregation/parish to qualify. And, the parishioners who engage in these outreaches seem to truly know what help is available in their community from a variety of sources. The 'help' might come in many forms - financial, low or no-cost daycare, food donations, clothing for the kids, etc.

I think it is worth a try. Try the larger churches first, then work your way down.
Also, have you considered contacting a group that provides support/info re epilepsy - I bet there is a 'national support group' - and they might just have info related to drug use among epileptics...I'm just thinking that this is not isolated to only your daughter.

patio34

Thank you so much, all of you for your heartening words. I'll be printing out this thread and really using a lot of the suggestions made.

Dark Angel, thank you for sharing your history with this problem. It really gives a lot of insight that I'll be applying when dealing with her. I'm afraid she is so hostile that any limited communication with her ends up in a tirade. Drugs bring out the worst in her. But in time she may settle down.

OutnFree, a lot of practical points on guardianship. I will be pursuing that avenue very soon, I think.

Kent and Abbaddon, Your compassionate viewpoints are so helpful. Right now, we are at the proverbial Mexican standoff, but I believe she'll cool down. At least I can remember my side of it and try to let my underlying motive be love.

Zazu, that is an excellent suggestion about the churches. I never would have thought of and I'll be sure to follow up on that.

Safe4kids, thanks for reminding me not to be consumed with guilt. That just paralyzes a person and leads no where. Besides, my daughter tries to maneuver me that way.

OrangeBlossom, thank you for your kind thoughts.

Mommy, I hadn't really thought about community resources so will be looking at that avenue also.

It has been very helpful all this useful advice. Better than a book really, because it is so on target. I feel much better. THANKS A MILLION!!

Pat

waiting

hey Pat,

I e-mailed you, hope you find it.

Just so that everybody knows, Pat also has one of those rotten summer colds that no one should have during the summer.

Life's just one good time after another, eh?

As a teenager you are in the last stage of life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz

There's nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won't aggravate. Jean Kerr

Many authorities now feel that WC Fields was right about kids. Robet Byrne

Just to get you to chuckle........

waiting

patio34

Hi Sis!

Thanks for the chuckles. I always liked Erma Bombeck's 'Family Ties that Bind and Gag.'

Things are reaching a boiling point between said daughter and me. She is insisting on having them back (for the 1st time in 10 weeks). I hemhawed a bit, suggesting that we keep it the way it is until she 'feels better,' not mentioning the heroin.

She became enraged and out-of-control. The final statement by me to her is that if she does go get the kids at the daycare that I would report her and her situation to the Children's Protective Services.

So, tomorrow may be critical. My psychologist said to not go there and let the authorities handle it. It seems that I have become the focal point of her rage and that she could attempt to hurt me or the kids to get back at me.

What infuriated her most today is that her electricity was turned off and she demanded I pay it and I refused. Btw, I have spent literally thousands on her, shoring her up.

My tack now is 'tough love' and let the pieces fall where they may. Hard as it is. Plus not being codependent anymore.

Additionally, she told me today she has used heroin 10 times, whereas yesterday she said 5 times.

It doesn't matter--I'll just let the authorities handle it.

"And the hits just keep on comin'. . . "

Thanks for listening, all!

Pat

P. S. and (((((((((to all))))))))!!!

Tina

((((((((((((patio)))))))))))))
I tried to respond last night and found out I hit the posting limit.

great suggestions here,,,dont know what I could add other than calling the hospital where she was and speak with the social worker there. They're a great resource for networking the agencies and assistance available in your area..............wishing you strength and courage,luv,Tina

psssssst BETHelMOle's the name

somebody

patio34,

I can't give any advice that hasn't been given already. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and yours, during this rough time.

peace,
somebody

patio34

Tina, Thanks for the tip and the support. I'll be making a bunch of phone calls Friday afternoon when I'm off work.

Somebody, thanks for the good wishes. And especially at the end: 'peace.' That's the outcome I'm looking forward to after this storm.

I did finally take the big step this evening and filed a report to the Protective Services. It's been causing a lot of stress: should I, shouldn't I? But then she made it known she's taking them back tomorrow. So I have no choice for their protection.

On the bright side, maybe by having this agency involved, she'll be more careful. One can always hope! It's not that I want to deprive her of her kids, just that they're safe.

Love to all,
Pat

Enlighted UK

Pat,

Sorry to hear about the terrible problems you are having to cope with at the moment.

I work in Mental Health Services in the UK, so I don't know whether my advice would be any good to you living in the USA. But here goes:

You need financial support to bring up your 2 grandchildren. Could you be their official "fosterparent"? In the UK the social services dept will try to place children with family before attempting resettlement with strangers. I would imagine you would be their first choice. If this is the case, there would also be financial support attached to this (Child Benefit/Income support).

Is your daughter involved with the mental health services in the USA? They may be able to provide support for your daughter to go through a detox program - this may require inpatient treatment, following by long-term high level support in the community on discharge from hospital.

Does your daughter have an allocated social worker? This is the person who is best placed to deal with accommodation/financial and child care issues. If she doesn't yet have a social worker, then it might be worth your while jumping up and down and shouting a bit at the health services until you get one (if you shout loud enough they WILL hear).

As I said, don't know whether this will help.

My thoughts are with you and the children.

Enlighted UK

tergiversator

Hey Pat,

I didn't notice this thread until today, but I guess it's never too late to pop in with my sympathy for what you're going through. I don't really have any good advice for you, but I want you to know that I'm thinking about you and hoping everything will work out ok. I'm glad you've got this online community to help you right now, even if it is just to listen.

Good luck, and let us know how things go.

-Elisabeth

patio34

Hi Enlightened UK,
Thanks for all the good advice.

Actually, as the week transpired (after hellacious moments throughout the week--you'd have to know my daughter), a social worker did get her into a program 1/2 days for mothers. It seems to have gotten her onto a better track . . . we'll see.

Elisabeth, thanks for the note. It's good to hear from you--I've missed you. Hope everything's okay at school and going swell.

Love to all,
Pat

Heroin Overdose=Daughter=HELP!

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