I don't want to die but I am mnot afraid of dying either.
I just explained this to my mom a couple weeks ago before my surgery.
I told her that it is sad to me when I think about my siblings being so afraid that I could die while not going to meetings.
My sisters and brothers actually let these thoughts scare and depress them.
I told my mom "Though I am not ready to die, I am not afraid of death. If there is a Loving God and some kind of life after death for good people then I have nothing to fear."