by logansrun 67 Replies latest jw friends
It's an up-and-down thing, isn't it? (Oh shut up, Little Toe. ) You leave the dubs, life is open before you, everything is great. Then real life sets in. Then you have an epiphany, and life is great again. Then it sucks again. Being married (to a lovely girl who left the JWs with me), I can say that while getting laid certainly helps, it's not a cure-all, either.
So I can't really say much but: here's to you, Brad. *draining my glass of third-rate Pinot Grigio*
Bradley
Sorry for the shit which weighs us down man.
You said you masturbated until you were 25 ..but now your 27...what ya been doing the last two years...maybe you need release!
Brad, I hear ya.
I didn't mention this to ya last night, but this week I'm working on a job just down the street from my high school science teacher. The one and only "worldly" thing I did as a teenager: entered a nationwide competition, for a trip to Chicago, a week-long seminar, including visits to Argonne and Livermore National Labs.
My JW folks (who surprisingly gave me permission) said, "Don't get your hopes up."
I won, and my hs teacher was a beneficiary to the expense-paid week-long trip. My "ticket to ride," gold-gilded; then, instead, I went to Bethel.
What a friggin total waste of my life-potential.
But you're doing what I didn't do; hang in there, my friend.
Sincerely,
Craig
I have been through all of that, buddy, and I am now working on what is most important. The friendship thing, relationships that is, is so important. Focus on that and so much more falls into place naturally. Hang in there and don't give in or give up.
Sincerely,
Corvin
{{{{{Logan}}}}}} Honey, you sound pretty much like me! I never had any friends in school, they all made fun of me because I couldn't afford to buy decent clothes, dad drank all the money up and beat my mother and would have beat me and my sister but mom protected us with her own body. Plus, I became a Witness when I was 14, and that made me even MORE of an outcast! Then, my parents take me away from the state I love best, and I have to sell my horse.....I still have nightmares about abandoning her, and it's been 30 years. In school, when I finally found something I was good at: track, I was forced to give it up by the Witness couple who were studying with me. They even scheduled my first public talk to be about an article in an Awake about a famous runner who became a brother. Yeah, like that made me feel any better. Ditto the masturbating thing. However..............I'm 46 now, and I have finally found what works for me. I left the cult, left a 20 year marriage which I should never have gotten into, but did because I was desperate to leave home and the abuse, and, I figured I'd never get another guy to be interested in me. Sad, huh? I also went to therapy, and am taking antidepressants. They have changed my life! I also have a 140 IQ.......so, honey, you are not alone, and I'll bet that alot of people here could say the same things. Logan, we love you, and we are here for you, to help you get thru this! I have a soft, loveable shoulder and two good ears to listen, and a pretty good brain! Talk to me/us!
Love,
Terri/Sunny
"You all are the nicest bunch of evil apostates I've ever run across."
*od dam**t! I'm not apostate, I'm just big boned!
Bradley,
When I read this,
The frustrating thing about the whole thing is I KNOW what to do. I can intellectually grasp why my life currently sucks and what can be done to correct it. I could write a dag-nabbed article on that shit if I had to! But I just.......can't........do.
I empathized TOTALLY. It is my main hurdle to overcome. Yah, I'm a genius (or so they told me in school), but I just ....... can't .... seem ..... to ...... get it .... together!!!!!
It's effing frustrating, it's MADDENING!!!!
I've come to realize that, for me, it has a lot to do with not being able to see a future, any future, which is something we learned as JW kids. There IS no future, at least our emotional kid believes that, 'cause we were taught about Harmaggedon at such an early age, and those beliefs are deeply ingrained and changing them is a challenging task!!!
Gosh, I wish I had an easy answer for you, I was where you are in my twenties, and it has taken a lot of hard work for me to get to a place where I can start to actually DO instead of THINK. Talk therapy helped, maybe you should try it (?). It's up to you hon. You can always PM me if you want a little encouragement.
talesin
Bradley,
I had been there. I think many of us all had or have been there. It's going to get better. But first tell us more about you.
So I guess you are in college. Any goal? When you pick a major, make sure it's something you really love to do or at least don't mind to do it for a job. What is your interest? Are you still a jw? ugh, I hated being a college student and being a jw at the same time. You get too much distraction.
If you want to find someone to love, get your carreer in line first. Loving someone is not a game. It's building lives together. These days without a decent job, it is hard to do that no matter how much you are in love.
I know you don't want to hear this, but I gotta say it, "When the time is right, the right person is going to come along and ask you to hold her hand." I didin't believe it, but you know what? It is true.
Since you are in college now, focus on finishing the school and getting a decent job first. Then meet with many other people. You probably have some idea on what kind of person you would like to date. Remember that good person attracts good people.
Hi logan
you can take the boy out of the dubs but not....)
This is funny, I say this all the time, except I say "girl". I don't know you well on the board but I wanted to answer because I had the exact same problems as you at your age, with a few minor variations from being a girl, and I had a similar family situation. Listen, you were smart, a JW, and had a depressed parent, and that's a triple whammy, it means that you probably never got to be a child at all. But Tom Robbins says it's never to late to have a happy childhood, and it's true. You need to let yourself have some fun. JWs aren't allowed to have fun as a general rule, and those raised by dubs tend to feel something terrible is going to happen if they aren't serious at all times. Go forth and be frivolous! (I think the first thing you should do is have your horoscope done by an expensive professional. I understand that Ronald Reagan's astrologer was very good. JUST KIDDING!).
Euph:
It's an up-and-down thing, isn't it? (Oh shut up, Little Toe. )
Darn. Am I that transparent?
Bradley:
I hope you slept well, and are psyching yourself up for a great weekend!!!!
