by rick1199 63 Replies latest jw experiences
For me it was seeing the fake spirituality of most of the members. It was all a show, an outward display of works given by those who were rotten on the inside.
People who truly were moved, i.e. born again Christians, were made fun of and considered insane. I always knew deep down that these were Christ's true followers (those driven by faith,not those preoccupied with outward appearances, not the dubbies.) something just didn't add up.
When I shuffled into the meeting with a busted nose (because the freak my mother was married to felt powerful only after beating up an 11-year old girl) and the elder told me to be more obedient so Bob would not feel the need to "discipline" me so much.
((((Insomniac)))) - boy would I like to bust that elder in the chops for you!!
I felt something was seriously wrong when I was "strongly cautioned" against asking questions - especially ones that were not in favor of what the society taught. I seen what I felt were discrepencies in the bible and science and I wanted to research it more.
I felt - and still do feel - that turning your back on evidence is crazy - it's the absolute wrong thing to do. I am a christian now and attend a new church regularly, even though I have some questions I feel free to continue to research them now and to accept that there may be another answer outside the relm of my understanding.
I guess it was just the level of control over one's own thoughts that I knew was wrong.
Basicly it came down the relief from very deep unhappiness I lived with as a JW being totally lifted and replaced by an 'easy grip on life' and comfortable happiness I experienced from the very moment I had the Eureka moment that I was no longer a JW.
All the usual things like nasty elders, badly handled matters, exposure to nasty boys meetings and that sorta stuff helped get me to that point, but it was really the stark difference between levels of happiness as a human being that made the difference... and the thought of an eternety in an extreme JW 'paradise' just seemed so awful compared to a grave.
They really are a very unhappy people who've learned to thrive on unhappiness.
Max
Gold_Morning ,
Thanks for the post. You have a PM
HD
PS...yes the saving grace(not the supposed undeserved kindness) is a much better motivator to do what is right.
Love,
Bill
I had doubts even before I got baptised. (I should have listened to that inner voice) My first doubts came about with the shunning also. I could never understand how God could forgive in an instant, but we as JWs had to wait a few months before we could consider a person forgiven.
My doubts started in Bethel. for many years I wanted to serve there thinking it was paradise on earth. After 4 months I saw what it really was,a billion dollar corporation which had lots of money to spend on equipment and properties that was run by men who had no real idea of what real people did in the real world.
Happy Dad,
It sounds as if you have come to the same understanding as I about Christ. Knowing him personally not only as your savior, but you best friend brings about that peace that transends all understanding.
You can e-mail me at [email protected] or find me on yahoo messenger. I am glad you are a happy dad. How long were you involved in the Organization? How long have you been out. What is your story? I would love to hear it.
I have not read the book you mentioned, but read non stop just about anything. Have you read, "Learning the Bible in 24 Hours" by Chuck Missler. Awesome reading!!
agape love, Gold
well lets see...it started when i was going through a very difficult time in my life with family obligations and my marriage breaking up...it was hard to get to meetings. therefore i was not regular in the meetings or service work ...forget it...I did not have the time or energy. that is when i was deemed spiritually weak by sisters and elders. they had no idea, i was praying my heart out to jehovah to get through the day and for everything to be okay. but it was not good enough for them. i believe that the organization wants the attendence and the numbers to count just so that it looks good. funny thing though, through this all, i know jehovah understood my circumstances and he still loved me. but the congregation? thats a different story. i moved to a new congregation, i was not even welcomed into the congregation...you know, how they welcome a new sister into the congregation. i feel i was branded as someone who was spiritually weak, 'so be careful, dont associate to closely with her', and that was it. after a year, i made no friends in the congregation, and yet in the world, i was making many. i still was not feeling like god hated me. what i felt was too much pressure with congregation obligations and too many restrictions. i was always feeling so bad. even though i wasnt doing anything wrong. just got to be too much. i do not like the feeling of been in a room with 100 people (bros and sis) and not feeling like i have a friend in the world. i could not take the hurt anymore....so i decided to be honest with myself and jehovah. i told him why i was leaving, (he already knew how i felt) and so in order to get rid of the guilt and hurt, i left. i feel better now. i make friends honestly and easily. there is no competition to do good, be better, or whatever, i can be just myself. and i have made 'genuine' friends this way....there are so many other things to say...so this is a start...i would luv to talk (instant message) with anyone if you like....take care
