Have others given up trying to communicate their feelings?

by Celtic 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  bisous

  Mark, we all have days, sometimes even weeks...months...like that.

  Sometimes I feel like I'm very tired of telling my story...I don't understand all of the hows or whys...why should anyone else? Or I get started and then just kind of fade midway through ... if I listen to myself telling it it doesn't even seem real 1/2 the time...or that it could actually be true... the one great thing about this site is there are others who don't change the subject midway through, or make you feel like you are crazy ...cause we have all been through it ya know? where else do folks understand...even partially?

  as far as normality...well not sure there is a valid definition of that in the world, we all have to make our own normal. but i do believe that love and warmth and support and understanding are there for each of us to reach out and claim, and for you too.

  I've seen you welcome warmly, kindly, countless newbies here. Your pictures you post show your sensitive side in spite of all your bluster. Your bad day will blow over, and you'll see....you ARE doing okay and things WILL get better.

  sleep well, (((mark)))
• 

  Odrade

  yeah, I know what you mean. Especially trying to explain it to someone who hasn't been there. For those that have you don't need the words, and for those that haven't... there are no words. You have to give too much "backstory." So often I end up just lumping it all as "cult behaviour," or else I say "It was like growing up in a Grimms fairy tale on a bad acid trip."

  Still doesn't tell it like it was... (((( Mark )))) don't give up trying, we get you.

  Odrade
• 

  onacruse

  Mark, I just posted a Schopenhauer quote to MarkfromCali, and here's another one, for you (from me, and for me)[this guy gave Einstein a run for his money...I'm still in the locker room LOL]:

  (Religion, A Dialogue; Psychological Observations):

  Many things are put down to the force of habit which are rather attributed to the constancy and immutability of original, innate character, according to which under like circumstances we always do the same thing: whether it happens for the first or hundredth time, it is a virtue of the same necessity. Real force of habit, as a matter of fact, rests upon the indolent, passive disposition which seeks to relieve the intellect and the will of fresh choice, and so makes us do what we did yesterday and have done a hundred times before, and of which we know that it will attain its object.

  But the truth of the matter lies deeper, and a more precise explanation of it can be given than appears at first sight. Bodies which may be moved by mechanical means only are subject to the power of inertia; and applied to bodies which may be acted on by motives, this power becomes the force of habit. The actions which we perform by mere habit come about, in fact, without any individual separate motive brought into play for the particular case; in performing them, we really do not think about them. A motive was present only on the first few occasions on which the action happened, which has since become a habit: the secondary after-effect of this motive is the present habit, and it is sufficient to enable the action to continue: just as when a body has been set in motion by a push, it requires no more pushing in order to continue its motion; it will go on to eternity, if it meets no friction.

  Sincerely,

  Craig
• 

  jgnat

  Celtic, I think it matters in the manner of telling. Like a good storyteller, I introduce my main characters gradually, spooling out threads of plot until it resembles the tangle of real life. I leave the punch-line for my readers to find, so that they may enjoy the same explosion of laughter, the same delightful discovery (often of shared experience in pain) that I have, living my life.

  Celtic, my man, you express yourself large, a blasting volcano. You grieve deeply, love passionately. Don't be surprised if the faint of heart run for cover. If you were a flower, you would be a six-foot blazing orange orchid, rare indeed.
• 

  El blanko

  I think we live in a world that for the most part abuse the few who wear their heart on their sleeve.

  Tell me about it brother. I understand.
• 

  Maverick

  Telling ones "story" benefits the teller more than those who are listening. Often we do not really know how we feel about the events that shape our lives. Talking them out release them from their hiding places. Ones own reaction to the revelations of self are the deepest and most profound. Don't look to others to understand you, others will look to you because you understand yourself and are therefore better able to understand them. And it is always about them. Want people to be drawn to you? Listen to them. Talk about them. Say their words back to them. Remember them!

  In summery, learn to be comfortable with you and everyone else will too! Maverick
• 

  Maya

  oh.......((((((((((((Celtic)))))))))))............

  Maverick is absolutely dead on.............

  Holding everything in does not and will not benefit you in any way. Because it slowly eats away at your mind, body, spirit, and soul........

  And, when the mind suffers......the body cries out......by giving you physical symptoms that you would otherwise not have, your body is telling you that you have to release all the bad stuff that is causing you so much anguish and distress.......

  We all have horror stories, Celtic..........things that cause us to feel shameful, unworthy, embarrassed, etc., etc.,,,,,,,,,,

  Please don't stop communicating with us........tell your story at your own pace.......believe me.......we understand more than you think............

  And once you start releasing all of your pain.......you will be creating room in your mind, soul, and heart for all the love and happiness you so deserve........

  We are here for you, Celtic........whenever you need us.............

  another hug......((((((((((((Celtic))))))))))
• 

  exjdub

  You grieve deeply, love passionately. Don't be surprised if the faint of heart run for cover. If you were a flower, you would be a six-foot blazing orange orchid, rare indeed.

  Celtic,

  What Gnat said so beautifully is what I have seen over and over again in the short time that I have been here. You express yourself through beautiful pictures and sensitive thread topics.

  You know how some of us guys have to put on a bit of an act sometimes, we have to set our faces into our coping scowl, but underneath, we're too well aware of just how soft we are? Well.

  You said that in your recent topic about men crying over music and movies. And therin lies the clue. You, and many of us here, are soft inside, regardless of what we show. But it is because of that softness that you are able to help others. Your sensitivity, and the deep emotional well that you are, allows you to be sensitive to others.

  In a recent chat session with you I learned that you lost everything when you left the organization. You were about as low as human being can get and all appeared lost. You also said that this board saved your life. You are part of that "life saving work" (and it ain't the preaching work...at least not for the JW's) process for others, even as you continue to go through such deep pain yourself. The ones who are sensitive are also the ones that are sensitve to other's needs and who help so much here...it has sure helped me. You, Celtic, are part of that process. So...thank you for being you Celtic, you are indeed a six-foot blazing orchid. And here is a big hug (((((Celtic))))) from a man who...never...cries...(trying to clear lump in throat...keyboard keys are getting blurry) oh all right Celtic! I admit it! I do cry...

  exjdub
• 

  Undecided

  HI Mark,

  Life is so complicated that no one can express what is really going on in their mind and heart. It continually changes as circumstances causes problems to their life. One day you are happy and the next day you may feel depressed. I just try to dwell on the good and push the rest aside, but sometimes you can't and that's when you feel like crying.

  I enjoy you and others here who express their feelings, it lets you know that you are not alone with problems that seem too complicated to deal with. Keep trying to smooth out your life and maybe it will be uphill for a while.

  So many things are happening in my step-kids lives right now that it's hard to be at peace in my own. I know how you must feel, I can't really express my feelings right now either.

  Ken P.
• 

  bull01lay

  Hi Celtic,

  Sorry you're having a downer at the minute - reading through the replies here I'm sure will show you just how much people care and want to hear your full story.

  I can honestly say that telling my story (very condensed as it was) made me feel a hell of a lot better - I felt it was time to have my say! Most of the responses I had were very comforting and caring, and non judemental - something I'd never really received apart from my wife's reactions, and 2 very close friends with whom I could talk that understood the JW way of life.

  It appears people here who know you have a great affection and respect for you - trust them and let them try to help you, the way you have helped them in your replies.

  Hope you feel better soon - Matt 11:28-30!