Should ExJWs Be Given More Slack Here?

minimus

I am sincerely of the opinion that we need to recognize that this board is quite different from most internet boards. I do not belong to other groups and I cannot say I know every one else's rules, but I do know that JWs and ExJWs are of a different breed. We have been battered and abused in so many ways as JWs. We were either "brainwashed" or at the very least put under some sort of "mind control". We are all at different levels of "getting out". Some have disassociated themselves. Others left by force or faded. Some have been out weeks and others--years! Now that many of us have found a place to heal, which I believe JWD provides, we are learning the ropes of learning how to live and survive. For those that have been out of the organization for years, I simply ask, "Can you find it in your heart to give some of us a little more leeway while we make our recovery"?

kls

Mini, i don't understand what you mean? Is there a problem? What do you mean leeway?

Satanus

Isn't there another xjw board that has no moderation?

SS

minimus

Moderation is ABSOLUTELY necessary. I'm not suggesting that moderation should be terminated. I don't see how you could've gotten that idea from my post....

ohiocowboy

For those that have been out of the organization for years, I simply ask, "Can you find it in your heart to give some of us a little more leeway while we make our recovery"?

I don't quite understand.......I have been away for several years now, and many times it still feels as though I left yesterday. I have seen others on here also that have been away for a long time, and they seem to be the ones that encourage others, and take the ones that have not been away long under their wings. Maybe there is something that I am missing? It would make me feel bad to think that I would somehow be discouraging to someone who needs help at such a drastic time in their lives. I have recieved many Pm's from people encouraging me, and making me feel welcome, as I like wise try to do for others if I feel that I can somehow give them encouragement, or just let them know that someone is listening, and can relate to what they are going through. Whether a person has left 5 days ago, or 50 years ago, the hurt will always be there to an extent, and personally I do not think that I will ever really recover, but do the best I can in this life.....

minimus

You've got the point Ohio!

simplesally

Is someone hurting you Mini? Lemme go smash 'em for you.

onacruse

Min:

As a poster who started here on the same day as you, all I can say is:

The most meaningful, and personally productive posts, I've ever dealt with, were those where honesty, and sometimes brutally harsh honesty, were shoved Bulldozer-straight into my face.

I hated it, I screamed about it, I cursed (privately) at the people that did it...

And I love them now, for it.

Craig

minimus

Honesty is good but discernment should not be underestimated.

Big Tex

"Can you find it in your heart to give some of us a little more leeway while we make our recovery"?

Okay Min, you know me and I hope our friendship these past two years can give me the leeway to ask for specifics. I'm not trying to be confrontational or argumentative, but I would like to know when you say 'more leeway', what specifically are you wanting as regards leeway?

The reason I ask is that it is one thing to talk in generalities, but the actual mechanics of keeping a discussion board this size going with as many varied personalities and topics going on a daily basis is not easy. As for leeway, I can think of a situation wherein I've emailed someone , sent PMs, made efforts to interact with and provide a listening ear and defended for several months now, but at some point if those efforts are not returned, I see the need to move on.

I will say this, that I truly believe part of recovery from leaving this sect, and integrating back into society (real life) is the recognition that everyone lives within boundaries. There is no such thing as absolute freedom of speech. There are consequences for your actions and, at some point, we all need to recognize those limitations and those consequences and move to integrate ourselves back into society. Now where that line is drawn, where it changes from patience and understanding to enabling I don't know.

This is only an Internet discussion board, and it's only here to provide a forum for those who want to learn to the truth about "The Truth" to come and vent, and hopefully heal a little. This board should not be the Be All and End All, but if used in conjunction with other tools (such as Franz's books, Randy's site, talking and meeting in person with other ex-Jws, etc.) this board can be an effective half way house for exiting JWs.

I guess my point is that it is a mistake to look to this board to answer every question, or solve every problem for an exiting JW. So it is that I ask for very specific parameters that you are looking for. More leeway to one person is not enough leeway for another. It really is a very subjective standard don't you think?

Chris

Should ExJWs Be Given More Slack Here?

Share this